EdEarl Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 The number one rule for mod selection is we never ask someone who is asking to be a mod. This keeps those with an agenda out. For years we thought ydoaPs was a mole from the Creationist Museum because he kept yammering at us about being a mod while vehemently denying any affiliation, yet his Outlook calendar only goes back 6000 years. Very suspicious. We've learned that great diversity makes for a well-rounded staff. CaptainPanic is your typical engineer, with mirrors on the toes of his shoes and a well-folded map in his glove-box. He's writing a book on razor-blade origami, which has taken him longer than expected with all the transfusions. Our buddy imatfaal runs a one-man legal office/brothel/courier service from the back of his bicycle. When he's not juggling between gigoling and jurispruding, he literally pedals his services to most of London's most desperate housewives. Hypervalent_iodine is finishing her Empress of Everything training, earning money on the side working as a guard in one of those women's bikini prisons you should hear so much about these days. Her perspective is captivating, as always. DON'T DRINK ANYTHING SHE GIVES YOU. Just sayin'. swansont is, of course, who the movie character Doctor Evil is based on. He invented the frikkin' laser and helped develop techniques to minimize burst pressure in whoopee cushion teleportation. There's an enormous red button on the wall behind his desk with an equally enormous sign that reads, "Don't PUSH me!". We don't. We asked mooeypoo to leave her job running Collections for some Israeli mental institution (Mysaab? Mosshead? Mossad?) and she was secretly overjoyed. She's extremely thorough and while some of the staff find her a bit over the top, I don't think frisking can ever be "excessive". Klaynos is a member of The Rolling Stones, but I'm not allowed to say which one. A concert tour went to Cern and Mi Klaynos was hooked on the physics. He came for the concert but stayed for the collisions. Klaynos ( ) continues to petition the scientific community to change the name "Big Bang" to "Jumpin' Jack Flash". I signed, what the hell. I was asked to be a mod by blike, a plastic surgeon who makes more money selling celebrity fat on Ebay than he does with implants and facelifts. He told me he needed a "patsy" who could sign "some papers" and not be able to "figure out what he was really up to". I was flattered and said yes. It's been one long, drawn-out court battle after another ever since. I have no idea if blike is in the country anymore, or if that's even his real name. Thanks for the bio on the mod squad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moontanman Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 I'm allergic to radioactive cheese nips anyway.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Endercreeper01 Posted November 16, 2013 Author Share Posted November 16, 2013 How do you become a resident expert? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EdEarl Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 How do you become a resident expert? To be an expert, you need a PhD with 10,000+ hours of study. To be a resident expert, you need to lurk in one place for a while and be an expert. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hypervalent_iodine Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 How do you become a resident expert? The same way you become a mod (i.e. don't ask for it and follow the rules), except that you also have to display some expertise in a scientific discipline. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ophiolite Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 The same way you become a mod (i.e. don't ask for it and follow the rules), except that you also have to display some expertise in a scientific discipline. Or be quite good at faking it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ydoaPs Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 What you should be asking is "How do I become a Resident Expert?" Resident Experts get all the women, all the glory and none of the work.....and none of the cheez nips Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mississippichem Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 ....and none of the cheez nips We did before you came around. We still get all the women, like all three of them on the internet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DevilSolution Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 I just want to get enough posts to become an organism then maybe one day ill be a real boy. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Endercreeper01 Posted November 16, 2013 Author Share Posted November 16, 2013 (edited) I will one day become an organism... Edited November 16, 2013 by Endercreeper01 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fuzzwood Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 Or be quite good at faking it. Same thing really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Endercreeper01 Posted November 17, 2013 Author Share Posted November 17, 2013 And also, how do I have crackpot threads? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swansont Posted November 21, 2013 Share Posted November 21, 2013 swansont is, of course, who the movie character Doctor Evil is based on. He invented the frikkin' laser and helped develop techniques to minimize burst pressure in whoopee cushion teleportation. There's an enormous red button on the wall behind his desk with an equally enormous sign that reads, "Don't PUSH me!". We don't. OK, it's not on the wall, but that's frikkin' eerie, Mr. Bigglesworth. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phi for All Posted November 21, 2013 Share Posted November 21, 2013 OK, it's not on the wall, but that's frikkin' eerie, Mr. Bigglesworth. What's eerie is how you always know just as I'm sitting down at my desk. This is the hole in my ceiling from the last time you zapped a whoopee cushion on my chair, you freaking supervillain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swansont Posted November 22, 2013 Share Posted November 22, 2013 What's eerie is how you always know just as I'm sitting down at my desk. This is the hole in my ceiling from the last time you zapped a whoopee cushion on my chair, you freaking supervillain. What can I say? My sharks don't stay properly calibrated very long when it gets cold, so my aim was off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cap'n Refsmmat Posted November 22, 2013 Share Posted November 22, 2013 OK, it's not on the wall, but that's frikkin' eerie, Mr. Bigglesworth. IMG_0877.JPG Where do I get one? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arc Posted November 22, 2013 Share Posted November 22, 2013 (edited) Where do I get one? http://www.ebay.com/itm/AC-240V-3A-Normal-Closed-Red-Self-Locking-Emergency-Push-Button-Switch-Switching-/310568246072?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item484f4f5b38 Edited November 22, 2013 by arc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swansont Posted November 22, 2013 Share Posted November 22, 2013 Where do I get one? Amazon is another option Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cap'n Refsmmat Posted November 22, 2013 Share Posted November 22, 2013 It looks like for $30 I can get a Big Red Button, box, buzzer and wiring so anyone who presses the button will get a surprise. I may have to leave this on my desk in our shared office... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phi for All Posted November 22, 2013 Share Posted November 22, 2013 Couple that with swansont's teleporting cushions and you'll have colleagues with their heads stuck in the ceiling too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moontanman Posted November 22, 2013 Share Posted November 22, 2013 I am going to devote my life to bringing swansonT down, he has far too much power.. DAMMIT, THAT HURT, WE HAVE TO GET THAT BUTTON AWAY FROM HIM FIRST! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CharonY Posted November 22, 2013 Share Posted November 22, 2013 What you should be asking is "How do I become a Resident Expert?" Resident Experts get all the women, all the glory and none of the work. Wait... women? Those were women.... oh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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