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On 8/30/2020 at 8:06 PM, joigus said:

Which actually goes to prove that you mustn't take anything literally.

How many hours a day do you spend looking for your glasses ?

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Three of those images imply too much power in the wrong place. The other is a horse.

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2 minutes ago, JayTony said:

An attempt at humor since your profile photo displays your glasses on top of your head, every time I see ya.

Now I understand!

Those are cycling glasses, by the way.

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May be a cartoon of text that says 'GIVE A MAN A FISH AND FEED HIM FOR A DAY FEED A MAN το A FISH AND FEED YOUR FISH FOR LIKE SIX MONTHS! E'

May be an image of text that says 'WHATS IS BEST IN LIFE? ASKED PIGLET CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES. SEE THEM DRIVEN BEFORE YOU, AND HEAR THE LAMENTATIONS OF THEIR WOMEN. REPLIED POOH imgflip.com'

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced Up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took The seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?”
She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your Business at this convention?”
“Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”
“Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?”
“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Mexican Descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck.”
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t Even know your name.”
“Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba".
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Pregnant Woman:  I might have to abort my own child.

Radical Pro-Lifer:  I might have to kill (liberal people) to save the fetuses.  They updated their translation of Exodus.

 

On 4/13/2021 at 2:30 PM, Moontanman said:

May be an image of text that says 'WHATS IS BEST IN LIFE? ASKED PIGLET CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES. SEE THEM DRIVEN BEFORE YOU, AND HEAR THE LAMENTATIONS OF THEIR WOMEN. REPLIED POOH imgflip.com'

I can't find it.  Is that one of those modern translation?

Best wishes.

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A woman was at her hairdresser’s getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:

” Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded and dirty.. You’re crazy to go to Rome .. So, how are you getting there?”

“We’re taking BA,” was the reply. “We got a great rate!”

“BA?” exclaimed the hairdresser.. ” That’s a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they’re always late.

So, where are you staying in Rome ?”

“We’ll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome ‘s Tiber River called Teste.”

“Don’t go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it’s gonna be something special and exclusive, but it’s really a dump.”

“We’re going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope.”

“That’s rich,” laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him. He’ll look the size of an ant.

Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You’re going to need it…”

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome

“It was wonderful,” explained the woman, “not only were we on time in one of BA’s brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.

And the hotel was great! They’d just finished a £5 million remodelling job, and now it’s a jewel, the finest hotel in the city.

They too were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner’s suite at no extra charge!”

“Well,” muttered the hairdresser, “that’s all well and good, but I bet you didn’t get to see the Pope.”

“Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I’d be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.

Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me”

“Oh, really! What’d he say ?”

He said: “Who the Fuck did your hair?”

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If Watson isn't the most famous doctor ever,

then Who is.

-------------------------

Meanwhile in Salzburg...

174731396_4067517030030035_7849668973383602396_n.jpg?_nc_cat=101&ccb=1-3&_nc_sid=8bfeb9&_nc_ohc=Rd4vX_jlVnQAX_044sU&_nc_ht=scontent.fmad10-1.fna&tp=6&oh=615289139eb673294c33712694eb6988&oe=60ABFA45

Edited by joigus
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2 hours ago, Moontanman said:

179235969_10220109238095211_3405263347064388650_n.thumb.jpg.e5b4a99f172eb3267dd40c4efd07868b.jpg

Don’t laugh too hard if you have asthma, but when I eat too many chilies it’s plasma 

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On 4/27/2021 at 7:35 PM, iNow said:

Don’t laugh too hard if you have asthma, but when I eat too many chilies it’s plasma 

That's not all that Horton hears when you have chilies, cheese, and beers.

You butt was never meant for spam, Mexican, green eggs, and ham.

 

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22 Paddy jokes ideas | paddy jokes, irish jokes, irish funny

80's Aussie TV........this was supposed to be for children entitles "Cartoon Corner"

Obviously out takes.

 

 

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Posted (edited)

Reporter: What's the first thing you need in order to split the atom?                                                                                             Scientist:  A fission licence .                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      

Edited by JayTony
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Posted (edited)

                 Happy Mother's Day !                                A mom forgives us all our faults, not to mention one or                                                                                               two we don't  even have .                        Robert Breault

Edited by JayTony
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Question: Why don't blind people bungee jump?

 

 

 

 

Answer: Because it scares the fuck out of the dog.

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