toucana Posted June 25, 2022 Share Posted June 25, 2022 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moontanman Posted July 13, 2022 Share Posted July 13, 2022 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iNow Posted July 13, 2022 Share Posted July 13, 2022 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moontanman Posted July 13, 2022 Share Posted July 13, 2022 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iNow Posted July 24, 2022 Share Posted July 24, 2022 My review of the Sun: One star 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
studiot Posted July 30, 2022 Share Posted July 30, 2022 For Ronnies fans. Notice seen recently in a hardware shop in Ledbury. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peterkin Posted July 30, 2022 Share Posted July 30, 2022 Never dictate your text to a millennial. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheVat Posted July 30, 2022 Share Posted July 30, 2022 When you come to a four kin the road, take it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iNow Posted August 7, 2022 Share Posted August 7, 2022 What generation does Forrest Gump belong to? Gen A Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheVat Posted August 7, 2022 Share Posted August 7, 2022 T.Hanks for that! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swansont Posted August 21, 2022 Share Posted August 21, 2022 ! Moderator Note Some recent posts were moved to the political jokes thread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phi for All Posted August 21, 2022 Share Posted August 21, 2022 When I make someone breakfast in bed, is it too much to expect a little appreciation, or even just a "thank you"? Lately all I get is a bunch of questions, like "Who are you?" and "What are you doing in my house?" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swansont Posted August 22, 2022 Share Posted August 22, 2022 Reminds me of this joke: When I die, I want to go like my grandmother: peacefully, in my sleep. Not shrieking in terror, like the passengers in her car. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
studiot Posted August 22, 2022 Share Posted August 22, 2022 (edited) Winning jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-62626292 Spoiler Masai Graham was voted the winner with his gag: "I tried to steal spaghetti from the shop, but the female guard saw me and I couldn't get pasta." Edited August 22, 2022 by studiot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phi for All Posted August 22, 2022 Share Posted August 22, 2022 2 hours ago, swansont said: Reminds me of this joke: When I die, I want to go like my grandmother: peacefully, in my sleep. Not shrieking in terror, like the passengers in her car. Misdirection is probably my favorite joke formula. Selling it well is an art form, imo. Bo Burnham is a master at it. I love his bit about believing in the Zodiac, and how morbidly ironic it is that his grandmother was a Cancer, and she was actually killed by a giant crab. I hate people who think it's clever to take drugs. Like customs officers.... I had a few too many at a bar the other day, so I decided to take a cab home. That's the first time I've ever driven a cab, to be honest with you. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheVat Posted August 22, 2022 Share Posted August 22, 2022 Three guys walk into a bar. Whoa, said a bystander, that must have hurt! 19 hours ago, Phi for All said: When I make someone breakfast in bed, is it too much to expect a little appreciation, or even just a "thank you"? Lately all I get is a bunch of questions, like "Who are you?" and "What are you doing in my house?" I don't know if that was a Rodney Dangerfield joke, but it sounds like one he'd make. I hear his voice when I read that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phi for All Posted August 22, 2022 Share Posted August 22, 2022 2 hours ago, TheVat said: I don't know if that was a Rodney Dangerfield joke, but it sounds like one he'd make. I hear his voice when I read that. I heard two versions of this joke recently, and didn't really care for either, so I took the best from both to punch it up. I agree about Dangerfield. He was another master of misdirection. "The doctor said I had cancer, and when I told him I'd like a second opinion, he said, 'You're ugly, too!'" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MigL Posted August 22, 2022 Share Posted August 22, 2022 1 hour ago, Phi for All said: I agree about Dangerfield. He was another master of misdirection. "The doctor said I had cancer, and when I told him I'd like a second opinion, he said, 'You're ugly, too!'" That would be Dr. Vinnie Boombotz ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zapatos Posted August 22, 2022 Share Posted August 22, 2022 I used to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey, but I turned myself around. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mistermack Posted August 22, 2022 Share Posted August 22, 2022 I tried to steal some spaghetti from an Italian restaurant kitchen today, but the owner was watching, and I couldn't get pasta. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phi for All Posted August 22, 2022 Share Posted August 22, 2022 35 minutes ago, zapatos said: I used to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey, but I turned myself around. Good for you, that's what it's all about! I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now. Just be careful around trees, some of them are pretty shady. And stairs always seem like they're up to something. And can someone tell me why the person who invented the knock-knock joke didn't get the No-Bell Prize for Comedy? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheVat Posted August 23, 2022 Share Posted August 23, 2022 I came from a real tough neighborhood. I bought a waterbed and found a guy at the bottom of it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mistermack Posted August 23, 2022 Share Posted August 23, 2022 Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last long if you’re fat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iNow Posted August 25, 2022 Share Posted August 25, 2022 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MigL Posted August 26, 2022 Share Posted August 26, 2022 I can't decide if this is hilarious, or just plain sad ... Shaquille O'Neal Says His Flat-Earth Comments Are 'Just a Theory' While Questioning If Earth Spins (msn.com) We pay these people millions of dollars, and kids look up to them. The internet/TV/Hollywoood has made these people 'influencers', and they are contributing to the 'dumbing down' of society. Of course, I would not say any of this to Shaq's face; he would crush me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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