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Merry christmas!!!


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I would like to say Merry Christmas and Happy Holiday to all.

I am new to this forum and just like to greet you all. See you guys later.


Let me make you smile a bit.



Funny Jokes. :)


Life After Death

A boss asked one of his employees, "Do you believe in life after death?"

"Yes, sir," replied the new employee. "I thought you would," said the boss. "Yesterday after you left to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you!"



Support a Family

The prospective son-in-law was asked by his girl friend's father, "Son, can you support a family?"

"Well, no, sir," he replied. "I was just planning to support your daughter. The rest of you have to fend for yourselves."



The Water Pistol

My five year old son squealed with delight when he opened his birthday present from his grandmother. It was a water pistol. He promptly ran to the sink to fill it.


"Mom," I said. I'm surprised at you. "Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water pistols?" My mom smiled and said, "Yes, I remember."

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I am not keen on Christmas. But I like Los Reyes Magos (The Wise Men), who had always been the ones who delivered presents to the Spanish kids. However, lately, due to Globalization, Papá Noel (Santa Claus, Saint Nicholas) was trying to steal their position :mad:. Therefore, Los Reyes Magos have finally decided to fight. So, sorry if you were expecting presents from Santa this year, but they had to do it >:D


Edited by zule
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From where the brightness of X-mas (regardless of where, and why, the tradition arose) illumination--plexus-like nettings hung all over the place--draw out romantic feelings from most everyone, and where the coming New Year celebrations and TV shows help keep our eyes focused on the economic 'kick' for the up-coming year, I wish you all a big MERRY CHRISTMAS !!


My eating and drinking, of course, will start from the 31st...the point in time that I start my 'beer buzz from morning,' singing whole heartedly with Sherel Crow ([sp?]). Have a great one all !



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Mrsemm thank you for the greetings. However, I take pleasure in a bit of reflection at this point, in the company of my family. It's the quite that I value the most. Just to sit quietly and to listen to the excited chatter of the children and the oft-repeated stories of the older people and just to luxuriate in the atmosphere. That is what makes Christmas for me personally.


Anyway, I have to contribute to the jokes and here is one that I like:


Sam, Abbe and Moishe were waiting in line to get into Heaven. When Sam gets to the front of the queue, the Angel Gabriel said, "Heaven is nearly full today and I can only admit those who have had horrible deaths. What's your story?"

"I suspected my wife was cheating on me," says Sam, "so I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. I knew something was wrong as soon as I entered my flat, but I couldn’t find where the other guy was hiding. However, when I went out onto my balcony, there was this man hanging onto my railings. I was furious and started kicking him but he held on so I got a hammer and battered his fingers. He couldn't take that and had to let go. He fell 20 stories but he somehow landed in some thick bushes and only stunned himself so I ran into my kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the balcony. My aim was perfect – it landed right on top of him, killing him instantly. Unfortunately, all the raw anger got to me. I had a massive heart attack and died on my balcony."

"That sounds quite bad to me," said the Angel Gabriel and let Sam in.

He then explains to Abbe about Heaven being full and asks for his story.

"It's been a very unusual day for me. I live on the 21st floor of a Dockland’s tower

and every morning I do exercises on my balcony. Unfortunately, this morning I slipped on the wet floor and fell over the edge. Luckily, I managed to grab the railing of the balcony below mine. All of a sudden, a man burst out onto the balcony and just for a moment I thought I was saved. But he was a madman and started beating me. I somehow held on but when he started hammering at my hands, I had to let go. But I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, winded but OK. But my luck ran out when a fridge fell on me. Now I'm here."

Once again, Angel Gabriel agreed that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.

Moishe came to the front of the line and again the whole process was repeated. Angel Gabriel explained that Heaven was full and asked for his story.

"Picture this," says Moishe, "I'm hiding naked inside a refrigerator..."



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Today is Christmas, everyone enjoy their holiday weekend. From my facebook page's daily *rant* for today. Christmas *rant*;


Christmas comes but once a year

Filling us all with holiday cheer

Why can't we do it every day

Improve the world in some small way

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Merry Christmas every one and all the best in the new year. as we start the holidays one thing to keep in mind holidays are for families and children. so lets keep the booze to a minimum better still lets not drink at all and enjoy the holiday.

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Merry Christmas every one and all the best in the new year. as we start the holidays one thing to keep in mind holidays are for families and children. so lets keep the booze to a minimum better still lets not drink at all and enjoy the holiday.


Too late... much too late.


Also: holidays are for everyone, drinkers and non-drinkers alike. If you were out and about on New Year's Eve, and not drinking, chances are you were in the minority

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