Creationist wedding hazard....

 

You'll need a prescription for that....

 

Take me to your leader!

 

 

 

Edited January 27, 201411 yr by Moontanman

Tee hee

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Euclidean_geometry#Bridge_of_Asses

I don't know how to make this little flic play here but this is seriously funny....

 

 

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=490815927671395&set=vb.432290810190574&type=2&theater

Summer came with its joke, I don't know if you will find it funny but I did:

 

Translation:

 

THIS IS A GERMAN TOURIST GIRL TAKING A SUN BATH

 

 

NO, NOT THIS ONE,SHE IS A GREEK GIRL, ... THE OTHER GIRL IN THE BACK.

Edited June 3, 201312 yr by michel123456

I don't get it.

I don't get it.

 

Of course not TR, it's probably still snowing where you are....

No, I mean, is the German girl the paler one?

Edited June 7, 201312 yr by krash661

Bob goes out and buys a parrot. The first day, he teaches the bird to say, "Who is it?" whenever the apartment doorbell rings. He's so pleased, he tells the bird he's going to go back to the pet store and get the bird a nice treat.

 

While Bob is gone, the bird hears the doorbell ring and says, "Who is it?"

 

A voice from the other side of the door says, "It's the plumber. The landlord said your faucets were leaking and I'm here to fix them."

 

The bird repeats, "Who is it?"

 

"IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'm here to fix the leaks!" the man insists.

 

"Who is it?"

 

The man begins screaming. "IT'S THE PLUMBER! YOU CALLED TO HAVE YOUR LEAKY FAUCETS FIXED AND I'M HERE! PLEASE LET ME IN!"

 

Predictably, the bird asks, "Who is it?"

 

The plumber loses his cool and starts jumping up and down. "FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, I'VE TOLD YOU THREE GODDAMN TIMES, IT'S THE PLUMBER!!!" Suddenly, the man grabs his chest and keels over right there in the hall.

 

When Bob gets back, he sees the dead stranger in front of his apartment door. He drops his bags and kneels down, exclaiming, "Oh my God, who is it?"

 

From inside the apartment, he hears the bird say, "IT'S THE PLUMBER!"

Moontanman's here with the dignifiedly appealing equivalent of my cartoon.

Moontanman's here with the dignifiedly appealing equivalent of my cartoon.

I remember actually buying that issue of Mad magazine....

 

I remember actually buying that issue of Mad magazine....

 

 

I meant the OPUS cartoon. It starts off roughly the same, but nobody takes a poop.

This is for you sci-fi fans

 

How many Vulcans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

 

 

No more nor any less than exactly one point zero zero.

 

Edited June 9, 201312 yr by SamBridge

 

^

When time travel is used the wrong way.

The power of optimism

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50cZMFk3zhA

---

I thought Moontanman might enjoy this one. It's by the same guy as the "context!!!" video posted by pwagen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&feature=endscreen&v=4_G9awnDCmg

Some Inaccuracies: My textbook said hundreds of millions of sperm per day, not 50 million, and wiki.answers agrees with that. Also, AFAIK, men aren't biologically predisposed to have a stronger sex-drive; there are various hypotheses given for the strength of the female sex-drive. Other than that, it seems correct.

Edited June 18, 201312 yr by Mondays Assignment: Die

A religious person was seated next to an atheist on an airplane and he turned to her and said,

"Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The atheist, who had just started to read her book, replied to the stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the religious person. "How about why there is a God, or Heaven and Hell, or life after death?" as he smiled smugly.

"Okay," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass.

Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"

The religious person, visibly surprised by the atheist's question, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm..., I have NO idea." which the

atheist replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven and Hell, or life after death, when you don't know shit?"

 

...she then went back to reading her book.

Edited June 18, 201312 yr by Daedalus