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The Official JOKES SECTION :)


YT2095

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Character - gir
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Schrodngr's_cat! Half dead, half alive, half maniac-in-training! This guy is really into torture, the whole BDSM thing. His real name is Ace Bondage! He really loves Cool Whip; not eating it, just saying it! He hopes Bush gets re-elected just for the four more years of pain! The other night his girlfriend was begging him to take off her dress and he kept saying, "NO!" Finally she said, "Come on, take it off, you're gonna stretch it!"
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phi for all, u have funny jokes! u like taking the piss of others in a funny way!

 

do me if u want! i dont mind!

 

it makes me laugh! lol lol lol....

 

thnx 4 making my day funner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Are you suggesting that your current president DOESN'T already have all these qualities? For shame!
Let's see, Bush has:

1. Brains=still searching,

2. Beauty=cat about to cough up hairball, until he smirks (which makes it worse),

3. Sense of humor=he says funny things all the time, none intentionally.

 

 

Conclusion=Inamorata in 2012!

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Character - gir
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Look, there's 5614! That's the number on his shirt in prison. He's in the London Asylum for the Criminally Electronic. He's a genius, but they caught him trying to order detonator caps on Ebay! He tried to convince Scotland Yard that the little farm animals he'd sculpted out of C4 were for art class! Ironically, 5614 is the year he'll be up for parole!
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I love these jokes from Scotland.

 

In the middle of foggy night in the North-west Atlantic.....two lights are heading directly for one another... and on the radio an American voice is heard saying "We suggest you alter course by 10 degrees to port". Back comes the reply "We suggest YOU alter course by 10 degrees to port!" Then the American voice says "This is the battleship USS Missouri leading the American Atlantic battle fleet. You had better alter course by 10 degrees to port." Back comes the reply "This is the Outer Hebrides lighthouse, but it's your call, Jimmy".

 

A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Australian were in a bar and had just started on a new round of drinks when a fly landed in each glass of beer. The Englishman took his out on the blade of his Swiss Army knife. The Australian blew his away in a cloud of froth. The Scotsman lifted his one up carefully by the wings and held it above his glass. "Go on, spit it oot, ye wee devil" he growled.

 

 

From whence they came:

http://www.rampantscotland.com/humour/blhumourindex.htm

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Character - gir
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Hey, it's bloodhound! Not quite ready to meet the queen yet, are we? Mathematical genius, social vegetable. His idea of a good time is to go down to the pub, spit at the waitress, compute the arc of trajectory to fifteen decimal places, chug a Stella Artois and then smash the can against his forehead! Ooops, Stella only comes in bottles! Seriously, bloodhound is like an incontinent pitbull with a pedigree. You'd love to take him to the show and parade him around, but you're afraid he'd either attack someone or crap on everything!
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Pubs in the UK don't have waitresses, because we don't fall about on our way back to the bar after half a litre of piss-water Artois*.
come on man' date=' Stella Artois is a like teh best out there. it quite funny. i liked it so much, that i ordered one during the england -france match. the barmaid gave me some funny look, but luckily no-one else seemed to have overheard my gaffe[/quote']

:P

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Character - gir
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Looky here, yourdadonapogos... tick. Fat-fingered that Enter key a little early, didn't we? What is that name all about? Some variant on the Yo Mama jokes? Your dad is so bouncy... it's just not funny. So how many threads have you attacked today, posting poster-child? We're on to your whole alien vampire persona, by the way. Have you been outside today or does the Mother Ship have broadband hooked up to your coffin in the basement?
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phi for all is hilarious, hes the only thing which keeps this whole thread going! cracks me up every one of his little alien things! i really need to have a chat with you!

 

5614, from jail! says, "i want more"

 

edit: (i need to have a rest, long sleep, wake up tomorrow and do something fun, yes, i know.)

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Character - gir
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Sayonara, Sayonara, Sayonara! Brain the size of a planet and he uses it to whip you silly over a technicality. No one is safe from his harassingly huge intellect. To him, HTML stands for Hurt Those Miserable Lickspittles! And I can't tell him to stuff it 'cause I'm not convinced he couldn't figure a way to vaporize me through my internet connection! Got the warmth of deep space in his heart, that one! Is it true that the sun shines on England when he leaves on holiday? So mean, so grumpy, so HORRIBLE! If compassion were methane, this guy couldn't work up an audible fart!
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Character - gir
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Dr. Blike, I presume? Here's a guy we're all really proud of at SFN. Gonna be a doctor, and his first official medical act will be to surgically separate himself from his siamese twin! Yeah, must have been REAL hard passing the MCATs with TWO BRAINS! By the way, all my love to your sister, A-like. Actually, I hope he doesn't go into surgery. Surgeons THAT good-looking are dangerous! The nurses spend all their time looking at him and you wind up with half a tray of instruments sewn back up inside you! Seriously, he'll have to work hard, since he'll be giving 10% of his income to the church, 15% to the GOP, 30% to the IRS and 40% to the lawyer who handles his paternity suits!
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Do you spend allot of time coming up with those?
5-10 minutes, depending on if I have to go back and look at some past posts or not. You guys are great material, 'cause I read a lot more than I post here at SFN. You all have much better educations and know a lot of science. I'm learning from you guys while I work AND I'm earning a degree at the SFN part-time University and Comedy Club.
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