Phi for All Posted June 28, 2004 Share Posted June 28, 2004 What's "ATP"?Albino Turnip Peelers?Always Test Promptly? Atlantic Treaty Procrastinators? Albatross Testicle Parts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lance Posted June 28, 2004 Share Posted June 28, 2004 Albino Turnip Peelers?Always Test Promptly? Atlantic Treaty Procrastinators? Albatross Testicle Parts? Abbreviated Training Program? Aberdeenshire Towns Partnership (UK)? Absolute Time Processor? Accelerated Transport Protocol (Altarus Corporation)? Acceptance Test Procedure/Plan? Access Transport Parameter? Accreditation Through Partnership (UK)? Accredited Tax Preparer? Accredited Training Provider? Acier, Tubes, Profils? Acquisition, Tracking & Pointing? Action Tactical Products? Active Training Period? Adaptive Threshold Processor (Kodak, Scanners)? Adult Tertiary Preparation? Adult Treatment Panel? Advanced Tactical PATRIOT? Advanced Targeting Pod? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Posted June 28, 2004 Share Posted June 28, 2004 Highly doubt it's any of those. Although the one involving albatrosses made me laugh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lance Posted June 28, 2004 Share Posted June 28, 2004 Albino Turnip Peelers?Always Test Promptly? Atlantic Treaty Procrastinators? Albatross Testicle Parts? oh and... Advanced Technological Products, Inc. Advanced Technology Panel Advanced Technology Partner Advanced Technology Program (NIST) Advanced Telecommunication Platform (Nortel) Advanced Telecommunications Program Advanced Test Products Advanced Tracking Program Advanced Tracking Prototype Advanced Training Technologies Project Advanced Travel Partner Advanced Turbo Prop Adventure Tours Pakistan Advice Training Promotion After the Point After the Prom Agent Transfer Protocol Agricultural Technology and Poverty Agriculture and Theology Project Aid Trade Provision Air Terminal Publicity (Brussels South Charleroi Airport preferential partner) Air Transferred Pollutants/Particles Aircraft Target Processor Aircraft Technical Publisher Aircraft Type Rating Airline Transport Pilot Airline Transport Profesionals, Inc. Alarm Transmit Process (ITI) Alaska Teacher Placement Alberta Theatre Projects All Tests Pass All Tomorrow's Parties Allgemeine und Theoretische Psychologie Allied Tactical Publication Allmän Tillägspension (old Swedish pension system) ALPS Tunneling Protocol (Cisco) Alternative Transients Program Alternative Transportaion Providers Ambient Temperature and Pressure American Technical Publishers Ltd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lance Posted June 28, 2004 Share Posted June 28, 2004 Highly doubt it's any of those. Ok ok then it must be one of these... Amman Trade Point Ammunition Transfer Point Ancillary Training Program Anderson Technical Publishing, LLC Answers to Private Antitachycardia Pacing (medical) AppleTalk Transaction Protocol Application Transaction Program Application Transaction Program (IBM) Applied Technology Professionals Ltd. Approved Test Procedure Arbejdsmarkedets Tillægspension (Danish Labor Market Supplementary Pension Fund) Arbitrage Trading Program (investing) Architectural Trim Products Argenteuil Théâtre Public Ariadne Transparent Portal Ariège Terre Promise Arizona Telemedicine Program Arkansas Truth Project Arlington Transportation Partners Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Posted June 28, 2004 Share Posted June 28, 2004 Hmm. I guess he must be talking about the chemical thing like Sayo said. Damn, this is gonna bug me now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sayonara Posted June 28, 2004 Share Posted June 28, 2004 Oh Jeez: Moderated because it preemptively stole the joke I just posted. You had plenty of time to post it first time around JaKiri Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Posted June 28, 2004 Share Posted June 28, 2004 They're just bad. Especially the ones about the molecular biologist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaKiri Posted June 28, 2004 Share Posted June 28, 2004 The only ATP I know is Adenosine Triphosphate (the energy transfer structure in respiration). Ding. A man walks into a bar and says 'I'll have a pint of Adenosine Triphosphate please'. The barman says 'Sure, that'll be ATP' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phi for All Posted June 29, 2004 Share Posted June 29, 2004 Ding. A man walks into a bar and says 'I'll have a pint of Adenosine Triphosphate please'. The barman says 'Sure' date=' that'll be ATP'[/quote']You played the "abhorrant" card for THAT joke? A man goes bear hunting in Alaska with his new rifle and promptly shoots a small black bear. He feels a tap on his shoulder, and when he turns around a large brown bear tells him, "That was a big mistake. I'll give you a choice: either I maul you to death or we have sex." The man figures anything is better than death, so he bends over for the bear. The next day he is furious, so he hunts down the brown bear and shoots it dead, only to feel another tap on his shoulder. This time it's a nine foot grizzly that tells him, "That was a big mistake. I'll give you a choice: either I maul you to death or we have sex." The man ends up bending over for the grizzly. The next day he is again furious, so he hunts down and kills the grizzly. Another tap on his shoulder makes him turn around. This time it's a twelve-foot tall polar bear. The polar bear says to the man, "You don't really come here for the hunting, do you?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Demosthenes- Posted June 29, 2004 Share Posted June 29, 2004 Wow. Who would come up with that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Posted June 29, 2004 Share Posted June 29, 2004 rofl, nice one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phi for All Posted June 29, 2004 Share Posted June 29, 2004 A man walks into a supermarket and buys a toothbrush, a tube of toothpaste, a loaf of bread, a pint of milk, and a single serving frozen dinner. The woman at the checkout looks at him and says, "Single, are you?" The man replies very sarcastically, "How did you guess, genius?" She replies, "Because you're ugly." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cap'n Refsmmat Posted June 29, 2004 Share Posted June 29, 2004 Good one. Where do you people get all of these? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phi for All Posted June 30, 2004 Share Posted June 30, 2004 Good one. Where do you people get all of these? I recently had a big family reunion and heard a ton of them. Plus I'm twenty years older than most of you so you've never heard some of the "golden oldies" I was laughing at when I was your age. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Demosthenes- Posted June 30, 2004 Share Posted June 30, 2004 A man walks into a supermarket and buys a toothbrush' date=' a tube of toothpaste, a loaf of bread, a pint of milk, and a single serving frozen dinner.The woman at the checkout looks at him and says, "Single, are you?" The man replies very sarcastically, "How did you guess, genius?" She replies, "Because you're ugly."[/quote'] hahahahahahhahahhahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I laughed for a long time, can I put that in my signature? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phi for All Posted June 30, 2004 Share Posted June 30, 2004 A man seeking shelter from the rain one night finds a tall tower where an elderly Chinese man and his beautiful daughter live. The old man agrees to let the man spend the night in the top room of the tower as long as he doesn't try to fool around with the old man's daughter. He warns the man, "I will invoke upon you the Three Curses of the Rock if you touch her." The man agrees, but after seeing the beautiful daughter, he forgets about the Curses. After the old man has gone to bed he sneaks down and seduces the beautiful young woman. The next morning he wakes up to find a rock on his chest which weighs about twenty-five pounds. A note on top of the rock reads, "Curse #1: Rock on chest." The man chuckles to himself and thinks, "No big deal, I can lift this rock easily." He lifts the rock and walks with it over to the tower window and heaves the rock out. He sees, however, that the rock had some ink on it and has left a message imprinted on his right hand which reads, "Curse #2: Rock tied to right testicle." In horror, the man looks over the window sill to see the rock plummeting down to the ground trailing a stout string behind it. He quickly figures he could survive the fall from the tower so, placing his left hand on the window sill, he vaults out the window, hoping to keep the string from tightening. As he's falling he sees that ink from the window sill has left a message on his left hand that reads, "Curse #3: Left testicle tied to bedpost." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phi for All Posted July 2, 2004 Share Posted July 2, 2004 A man meets a pirate in a bar and buys him a drink. He sees that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch. The man asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?" The pirate replies, "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks, and one of 'em bit my leg off." "Ouch!" said the man. "What about your hook"? "Well", replied the pirate, "We were boarding a rival pirate ship and were battling the other pirates with swords, and one of 'em cut my hand off." "Incredible!" remarked the man. "How did you get the eye patch"? "A seagull dropping fell into my eye," replied the pirate. "You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?," the man asked incredulously. "Well," said the pirate, "it was my first day with the hook." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bloodhound Posted July 3, 2004 Share Posted July 3, 2004 Ding. A man walks into a bar and says 'I'll have a pint of Adenosine Triphosphate please'. The barman says 'Sure' date=' that'll be ATP'[/quote'] that is seriously funny. i wonder if the americans in here get it. anyway heres a couple of my fav So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he said 'You've been promoted.' And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said "You've been promoted again.' And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. A policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I said 'I careered off the road.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phi for All Posted July 3, 2004 Share Posted July 3, 2004 This joke thread is abhorrant to me. It doesn't contain the ATP joke. i wonder if the americans in here get it.A pint of Adenosine Triphosphate is 80 pence, we get it already, but does that make the rest of the jokes "abhorrant"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bloodhound Posted July 3, 2004 Share Posted July 3, 2004 i dont even know what abhorrant means. ooh thats for pointing out the actual joke. i was laughing at the other bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phi for All Posted July 3, 2004 Share Posted July 3, 2004 The CIA is hiring more contractors (assassins) and it's down to three finalists for the job: two men and a woman. For the final test the head agent takes one of the men and points to a door leading into a room, hands him a gun and tells him a CIA contractor needs to be ruthless, so he must go into the room and kill the person he finds there. The man takes the gun, jacks a shell into the chamber and walks into the room. Seated in a chair is the man's own wife. He immediately leaves the room and hands back the gun, saying, "There's no way I would kill my wife. Forget it." The head agent tells him he's not ruthless enough for the CIA. The agent takes the second man to a similar room and gives him the same instructions. He enters with the gun and stays there for a full five minutes before he comes out, sobbing, "I can't do it, not my wife! I just can't do it!" The agent tells the man he's just not ruthless enough. The agent takes the woman candidate to the door of a third room, where her husband is in the chair, and tells her to kill the person she finds there. She closes the door and six shots ring out, along with terrible screaming and sounds of a huge fight. Finally, the woman emrges from the room, pats her hair into place and tells the agent, "You didn't tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bloodhound Posted July 3, 2004 Share Posted July 3, 2004 saw that in another forum, but a good one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phi for All Posted July 3, 2004 Share Posted July 3, 2004 anyway heres a couple of my fav So I was in my car' date=' and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he said 'You've been promoted.' And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said "You've been promoted again.' And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. A policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I said 'I careered off the road.'[/quote']You owe us a joke, bloodhound, we have it in writing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bloodhound Posted July 3, 2004 Share Posted July 3, 2004 Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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