insane_alien Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 Yep, the world will end in 2012 and i have concrete(well plastic actually) proof! mankind was not meant to harness this kind of power, surely we will destroy ourselves and the world in the upcoming spork wars. I for one welcome our new utensil overlords and hope that i can serve them in ways which do not require them to end my life. make the most of the last few earthly years you have. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YT2095 Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 Formidable! </french accent> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyguy56 Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 What? Is this a joke? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
insane_alien Posted December 24, 2008 Author Share Posted December 24, 2008 What? Is this a joke? you're quick aren't you? i shall see to it that you are given a quick death by our new sporkulific overlords. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gilded Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 Oh no! Try shooting it with a shotgun and see if it repairs itself and proceeds to take over the nuclear arsenal of a few countries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 you're quick aren't you? i shall see to it that you are given a quick death by our new sporkulific overlords. *smile* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phi for All Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 Actually, the spork wars will be the salvation we've all been looking for. Half the population will lacerate their mouths trying to eat, sue the spork makers, and then go blind while starving to death trying to read the fine print that will eventually cover each spork. The resulting increase in intelligence in the species and reduction in consumption of resources will allow us to stop producing reality TV and actually fund science education. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gcol Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 Looks like an analogy of the irreconcilable ideas of quantum physics and string theory to me. See, you can twirl up the stringy spaghetti bits with the fork end, or scoop up the lumpy bits with the spoon bit, but you can't do both at once. Of course, you can reverse the ends as often as you like, but you soon end up with a yucky mess of lumpy stringy bits all over your hands. Can't think of a name less cumbersome than "The embodiment of the Stringquan conundrum". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
insane_alien Posted December 24, 2008 Author Share Posted December 24, 2008 you won't be saying that when our overlords are eating your brain with those super sporks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
padren Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 The mandatory... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pangloss Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 Such a device could open a rift in the space-time continuum! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murakami Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 looks like it would be painful to put the fork/knife end in your mouth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phi for All Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 looks like it would be painful to put the fork/knife end in your mouthIf it lacerates your mouth, you should sue the spork makers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
insane_alien Posted December 25, 2008 Author Share Posted December 25, 2008 thats how they get you, the barbs on the knife contain a mutagenic substance that slowly and painfully turns you into a spork yourself when it contacts your blood stream. the only known way to stop this is to bombard yourself with sporks made of anti-matter. however, these run at several trillion per gram and you need enough to counter your mass exactly. having too much is just as bad as there will then be the anti-super-spork army which is equally deadly, a war between the two would surely destroy the universe and not just the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YT2095 Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 I`v sent a Priority Encoded message to the RHS (Royal Horticultural Society) just in case it starts effecting Garden Implements too, the Little critters are bad enough, but Half Man-Sized... *EEK* I mean a Spade through the hand or a Fork through the foot and a Rack Thwack to the forehead is one thing, but THIS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
insane_alien Posted December 25, 2008 Author Share Posted December 25, 2008 Flying Spaghetti Monster you may be right! If this occurs the end may be nearer at hand than i previously believed. I urge everyone on this forum to start stockpiling emergency provisions. Be extra careful to ensure that you do not use sporks or let the cutlery breed when it is in storage seeing as this will produce such murderous offspring as you see in the OP! Good Luck to everyone and i hope you survive the coming apocalypse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ladeira Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 I think the thread would be funnier if all spoon, fork and knife were together... baah what am I talking about? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dudde Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 All hail the flying spaghetti monster! I have been mentally preparing my mind to meld with sporks for years, this is my golden chance! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sayonara Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony_pictures/2012/ There is a film about it so it must be true. Although I don't see any sporks in the trailer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
insane_alien Posted December 28, 2008 Author Share Posted December 28, 2008 Of course you don't see any sporks in the trailer, you won't even see any sporks in the film. but like ninjas, they are there, hidden in the shadows, waiting to strike when the moment is right. infact, on S-day(spork day) you probably won't even see sporks then as they will take you in your sleep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moontanman Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 Finally a thread that actually makes sense! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nitric Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 but they do not cover the very controversial spoon knife breeding, or in theory a super-being can be made from breeding a super spork with a swish army knife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 What about spatulas....? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaptainPanic Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 What about spatulas....? Those who even mention these Weapons of Mass Consumption (WMC) must be against us! Watch your mouth! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 Sorry sorry, I meant...erm...chopsticks...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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