Yep, the world will end in 2012 and i have concrete(well plastic actually) proof!

 

 

mankind was not meant to harness this kind of power, surely we will destroy ourselves and the world in the upcoming spork wars.

 

I for one welcome our new utensil overlords and hope that i can serve them in ways which do not require them to end my life.

 

make the most of the last few earthly years you have.

Formidable! </french accent>

What? Is this a joke?

What? Is this a joke?

 

you're quick aren't you? i shall see to it that you are given a quick death by our new sporkulific overlords.

Oh no! Try shooting it with a shotgun and see if it repairs itself and proceeds to take over the nuclear arsenal of a few countries.

you're quick aren't you? i shall see to it that you are given a quick death by our new sporkulific overlords.

 

*smile*

Actually, the spork wars will be the salvation we've all been looking for. Half the population will lacerate their mouths trying to eat, sue the spork makers, and then go blind while starving to death trying to read the fine print that will eventually cover each spork.

 

The resulting increase in intelligence in the species and reduction in consumption of resources will allow us to stop producing reality TV and actually fund science education.

Looks like an analogy of the irreconcilable ideas of quantum physics and string theory to me.

 

See, you can twirl up the stringy spaghetti bits with the fork end, or scoop up the lumpy bits with the spoon bit, but you can't do both at once. Of course, you can reverse the ends as often as you like, but you soon end up with a yucky mess of lumpy stringy bits all over your hands.

 

Can't think of a name less cumbersome than "The embodiment of the Stringquan conundrum".

you won't be saying that when our overlords are eating your brain with those super sporks

The mandatory...

Such a device could open a rift in the space-time continuum!

looks like it would be painful to put the fork/knife end in your mouth

looks like it would be painful to put the fork/knife end in your mouth

If it lacerates your mouth, you should sue the spork makers.

thats how they get you, the barbs on the knife contain a mutagenic substance that slowly and painfully turns you into a spork yourself when it contacts your blood stream. the only known way to stop this is to bombard yourself with sporks made of anti-matter. however, these run at several trillion per gram and you need enough to counter your mass exactly.

 

having too much is just as bad as there will then be the anti-super-spork army which is equally deadly, a war between the two would surely destroy the universe and not just the world.

I`v sent a Priority Encoded message to the RHS (Royal Horticultural Society) just in case it starts effecting Garden Implements too, the Little critters are bad enough, but Half Man-Sized... *EEK*

 

I mean a Spade through the hand or a Fork through the foot and a Rack Thwack to the forehead is one thing, but THIS!

Flying Spaghetti Monster you may be right!

 

If this occurs the end may be nearer at hand than i previously believed. I urge everyone on this forum to start stockpiling emergency provisions. Be extra careful to ensure that you do not use sporks or let the cutlery breed when it is in storage seeing as this will produce such murderous offspring as you see in the OP!

 

Good Luck to everyone and i hope you survive the coming apocalypse.

I think the thread would be funnier if all spoon, fork and knife were together... baah what am I talking about?

All hail the flying spaghetti monster!

 

I have been mentally preparing my mind to meld with sporks for years, this is my golden chance!

http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony_pictures/2012/

 

There is a film about it so it must be true. Although I don't see any sporks in the trailer.

Of course you don't see any sporks in the trailer, you won't even see any sporks in the film. but like ninjas, they are there, hidden in the shadows, waiting to strike when the moment is right.

 

infact, on S-day(spork day) you probably won't even see sporks then as they will take you in your sleep.

Finally a thread that actually makes sense!

but they do not cover the very controversial spoon knife breeding, or in theory a super-being can be made from breeding a super spork with a swish army knife.

What about spatulas....?

What about spatulas....?

 

Those who even mention these Weapons of Mass Consumption (WMC) must be against us! Watch your mouth!

Sorry sorry, I meant...erm...chopsticks...?