Phi for All

Peron has been auto-suspended for a combination of plagiarism and trolling infractions. Merged post follows: Consecutive posts mergedtsolkas has been suspended for 1 year for repeatedly posting extraordinary claims and then not responding when asked to back them up. This type of drive-by trolling is not conducive to healthy discussion, which is really what we're all about.

We should split this section into two parts. Section 1 is for Jokes, and Section 8 is for Not Funny, Not Even Unfunny

Making fun is kind of the point. Being funny is even better. Jokes, of course, are the crowning achievement of this "page", since it's not called The Official Jokes Section for nothing. I think I get it now, Norman Albers. It's a variation on Jon Stewart's joke about Bush getting re-elected, and at the inauguration Bush says, "I do solemnly swear..." and then so does 49% of the rest of the country. I didn't think the "sumbuck" part was racist or anything, I just didn't think it was a joke, but now I get it. It's back now. My bad. ____________________________________________________________________________________________ A young man is stumbling down a back road with a key in his hand. A cop sees him and pulls over. "Can I help you, fella?", asks the cop. "Yesssh, shombody stole my car!" the man replies. The cop asks, "Okay, where was your car the last time you saw it?". "It was at the end of this key", Edward replies. At this point the cop looks down to see that the guy's pants are open. The cop says, "Hey buddy, are you aware that you're exposing yourself?" The young man looks down and moans, "OHHH GOD...they got Julie too!!!"

PlayStationX has been permanently banned for persistent trolling and ignoring explanations while continually asking for them.

Welcome newcomers all! Ooooh! The big kind or the small kind? You know those big bubble bags they put like 3 or 4 in a box to pack it? I want a whole roll of those! Here, try this when your Christmas present runs out.

Oh, I get it! You + maths = NOT! Welcome.

I'd find it hard to sleep with one of those police things around my ankle. How do you manage?

Agreed. But I'm more concerned that someone we don't know very well might be getting the email addresses of our other members. Let's just discuss this idea here because hey, it's what we do.

Hi Greg, I merged your thread with out Introduce Yourself thread. Welcome and enjoy.

We prefer to discuss, actually. Unless you're connecting from a smart phone, "chat" in textspeak is too difficult to understand for our global membership. I hope you don't mind typing all the words to make yourself better understood. Welcome everyone, have fun and enjoy the forum.

Take some more math next year, you went over the 15-letter limit (which we somehow warned you about somewhere when you joined somewhat). You'll fit right in with yourdadonapogos and lolromeoandjuli. Welcome. Have fun posting and thanks for your participation. We appreciate that you could be about a trillion other places but you chose here. Thanks. Well well well, for a guy who knows the answer to everything, you put your fate in my hands pretty quickly. I don't usually touch someone's fate until the third or fourth post, so let's see what you got. Welcome to SFN.

New Science has been permanently banned, after repeated failed attempts to get him to answer questions regarding his Speculations. Attempts to explain where his information was in error were ignored. He proved to be inconsistent with our purposes and unwilling to adopt even the basic rigor science requires.

I read your excellent posts about TAM6 over at Skeptic Friends. It sounds like a fantastic venue for great minds. Welcome to this SFN, to Kil and the others who are joining. I plan on starting an account at Skeptic Friends in the very near future (but I'm a little skeptical....)

Welcome to all the new folks. It is extremely logical that you chose to become members and reflects very well on your intellects. Bienvenue! Please help me out with this thread in General Discussion about sarcasm in many languages. *You* can give us the Russian perspective.

Esta bueno. Bienvenidos!

We are extremely glad to have you all here. Welcome to the community. We hope you find everything you need, and might be able to help us find what we've been looking for. Browse at will, enjoy yourself and assume the position (mind open, but not so wide your brains fall out). Bathroom's down the hall, let's keep it civil, and you there, with the gum, I hope you brought enough for everyone.

Update: Graviphoton's seven day suspension has been extended to coincide with eventual contraction of the universe.

An Alsatian went to the telegraph office, took out a blank form and wrote, “Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.” The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog: “There are only nine words here. You could send another ‘Woof’ for the same price.” “But,” the dog replied, “that would make no sense at all.”

I'm not sure I want him back, his last few posts were fairly racist. Us Jews and low-caste foreigners might be better off without him.

Zephir been suspended again, so we're going to make it permanent. This should give him more time to devote towards learning actual science. Best of luck, Z. Aether you're a genius or you're an idiot (had to be done). _____________________________________________________________________ alanejackson has been suspended for three days, for a combination of Flaming, Trolling and Hijacking. Let's hope he can get it together and stop whining about Galileo persecution, but let's not hold our breath, either. Even money says we'll see him listed here again in a few days.

A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten. We all looked at each other and another customer asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten?" She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine. I lost it and need a new one. I don't know exactly what it is, but this piece has always been there." The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked, "Is there a 710 on this car?" She pointed and said, "Of course, it's right there." If you're not sure what a 710 is...http://www.hotautoweb.com/cogifs/710.jpg

This should be taken care of right away. What he means is, "This is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself." I have some good news and some bad news. What he means is, "Good news, I get a Mercedes, bad news, you pay for it." This may smart a little. What he means is, "Last week, two patients bit off their tongues." There is a lot of that going around. What he means is, "My God, that's the third one this week. I'd better read up about this."

Come on, not all of you. It was meant as sarcasm because your signature is getting pretty Pimp City. I promise to get on IRC more often and scream at you about it.

We have Chat?!

Welcome everyone, to SFN, the voice of reason (or the bran of raisin, I forget which). Have a good time. Don't catch up. We don't believe in pwn language, or text speak, or creationism, or store-brand cheesy crackers. Not necessarily in that order.