Microbiologist Brantley Hall of the University of Maryland in College Park and colleagues study the metabolism of gut microbes. They tried unsuccessfully to measure hydrogen production from gut microbes with a sensor in an oxygen-free chamber. Frustrated, “we took the sensor out of the chamber, and we were like, ‘Screw it. We’re going to try to measure a fart.’” So Hall stuck the device down his own pants and let rip. “And the signal was enormous.”

https://www.sciencenews.org/article/smart-underwear-human-fart-frequency

I'm simply going to be happy all day now, on the strength of knowing there is a real website called The Human Flatus Atlas.

Based on the data so far, I'm a proud "hydrogen hyperproducer."

The only way to cut output is, ironically, to cut the cheese.

I wonder if my wife would want those smart pants attached to her fit bit via an app lol.

If they can alleviate some gastric distress, it's easy to see this becoming a standard test at the primary care level, with a healthy range we're supposed to stay within. It does make me grin to think about people who test low, and are told they have to take/eat something to make them fart more. Their whole lives they've probably been secretly proud they aren't the crude heathens everyone else is.

There must be a fart frequency fast fourier transform (FFFFT)

I am reminded that, some years ago, I realized there must be a lab that tested toilet paper, with an artificial backside, in order for the companies to advertise that their product was doing a better job. I later ran across an article showing I was right - the lab butt was a bladder that folded over to simulate the geography of the rear, and could then be unfolded to measure how clean it was after wiping whatever viscous test substance they used.

17 minutes ago, swansont said:

I realized there must be a lab that tested toilet paper, with an artificial backside

Did you previously think all science jobs were as glamorous as yours ?
There are some poor biologists whose job it is to masturbate race horses and prize bulls to obtain semen for artificial insemination.
Thank God I didn't go into Biology ...

25 minutes ago, swansont said:

There must be a fart frequency fast fourier transform (FFFFT)

That would make for an interesting superposition state. The propagation integral would also have some interesting processes. Would definitely bring new meaning to the Greens function...

14 minutes ago, MigL said:

Did you previously think all science jobs were as glamorous as yours ?
There are some poor biologists whose job it is to masturbate race horses and prize bulls to obtain semen for artificial insemination.
Thank God I didn't go into Biology ...

Lol me too

Edited 1 hour ago1 hr by Mordred

4 hours ago, swansont said:

https://www.sciencenews.org/article/smart-underwear-human-fart-frequency

I just looked to the title and;

I do not say that the quality was lacking, I prefer to say that there was no quality.

This is what that article caused me to think and interrupted me to read further.

- my result: the direction or the aim is wrong to me. Consider also, whether the relevant personality who deemed as scientist in that article had psychiaric ilness.

1 hour ago, swansont said:

There must be a fart frequency fast fourier transform (FFFFT)

I am reminded that, some years ago, I realized there must be a lab that tested toilet paper, with an artificial backside, in order for the companies to advertise that their product was doing a better job. I later ran across an article showing I was right - the lab butt was a bladder that folded over to simulate the geography of the rear, and could then be unfolded to measure how clean it was after wiping whatever viscous test substance they used.

.... and is either a delusion or such a minimal relevance that not only neglectable but also waste of time.

in general, I tend not to make any comment in such context because I have tendency to deal with only intellectual side of literature.

2 hours ago, swansont said:

There must be a fart frequency fast fourier transform (FFFFT)

I am reminded that, some years ago, I realized there must be a lab that tested toilet paper, with an artificial backside, in order for the companies to advertise that their product was doing a better job. I later ran across an article showing I was right - the lab butt was a bladder that folded over to simulate the geography of the rear, and could then be unfolded to measure how clean it was after wiping whatever viscous test substance they used.

to me, this is Non intellectual aim generated by someone who deemed to deal with scientific contexts.

inshaAllah ,Allah will protect me to deal with something which is not necessarily needed.