iNow

In their most recent act of compassion, liberal lefties have decided to add Republicans and neoconservative values to the endangered species list.

Via a friend at another site: Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. 'What's wrong, Bill?' she asked. 'Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?' 'Oh, Bill, you didn't' she exclaimed. 'Yes, I did.' he replied. 'My God, Bill, what happened?' 'I got fired.' 'No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?' 'Oh...she got fired too.'

I came across this today and it gave me a bit of a chuckle.

Lol. Me, either. I just call it Albany.

Except, you spelled Poughkeepsie wrong. Welcome. My dad worked at big blue in Kingston for a lot of years, but that was decades ago.

Howdy. Keep it weird.

The Value of a Drink 'Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams .. If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, 'It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.' ~ Jack Handy WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 'I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.' ~Frank Sinatra WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 'When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.' ~ Henny Youngman WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ '24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.' ~ Stephen Wright WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 'When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!' ~ Brian O'Rourke WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 'Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.' ~ Benjamin Franklin WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 'Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.' ~ Dave Barry WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can! ~ Dave Howell WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went: 'Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.' WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not Happy New Year, everyone.

Welcome, Murakami-san, I look forward to learning from your posts, and the posts of all others who have joined recently.

That's no problem. The challenge for me is that I sometimes answer questions as a six year old would answer.

bloody_thorn - You shouldn't share your email openly like that. It will get picked up by the spam bots, and you're going to be in for some hurt if you leave it in your post. You can click "Edit" and remove it. Besides, any discussion should be shared here in the forums so we can all learn from it.

With tonight being the 2008 election for US President, I thought I'd give something a little be true and a little bit light-hearted all at the same time.

Dear Abby, I have never written to you before, but I really need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The phone rings and when I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out a lot with 'the girls.' When I ask their names she always says, 'Just some friends from work, you don't know them.' I try to stay awake and look out for her when she comes home, but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, I have never broached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I did not want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to check up on her. Around mid night, I hid in the garage behind my golf clubs so I could get a good view of the whole area when she arrived home from a night out with ‘the girls.' When she got out of the car she was buttoning up her blouse, which was open, and she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment, crouching behind my golf clubs, that I noticed a hairline crack where the grip meets the graphite shaft on my 3-wood. Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the pro-shop where I bought it? Signed, Need Help

What references do you have to support that?

Would that be considered 3rd base or 2nd base?

Hi throng, They are not. Inertia is the resistance an object has to a change in its state of motion, whereas c is a label indicating the speed of light, which cannot be overcome (or even fully reached) by any object with mass. C is just what we call a specific speed, just like red is what we call a specific nanometer range in the electromagnetic spectrum. I'm sure your base of knowledge will both expand and become more solid as you continue to read and participate here. Just FYI. Welcome to everyone who has joined.

H/t - Afarensis

In the 9 on topic posts since Moo asked that people share references supporting their claims, none of them has done so. http://www.scienceforums.net/forum/showthread.php?t=16283&page=11

At SFN, Mooeypoo has used the word "reference" in 36 posts, "references" in 29 posts, and "citation" in 5. http://www.scienceforums.net/forum/search.php

My internist referred me to a female urologist. I saw her yesterday and she is gorgeous. She's beautiful and unbelievably sexy. She told me that I have to stop masturbating. I asked her why and she said, 'Because I'm trying to examine you...'

It's even a thermometer!

Hi layman, You may not realize it, but sometimes just asking a question is a contribution to someone esle's knowledge. Enjoy.

Well, I've always enjoyed empiricism. I'm willing to do 4 or 5 tests per day if that's what it takes. Can we use multiple participants as well?

When in doubt, try it out.

How about studying how much friction is created across and inside various parts of the body during intercourse?

Welcome to everyone who has joined. The community can only be better as a result of your participation.