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Goodbye and thanks for all the fish.


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  • 4 weeks later...

I have recently been privy to some classified information by a guy I use to go to school with. He now works for NASA in their Near-Earth Object Program to identify and if needed destroy any object in the event that one is on a collision course with Earth. They have apparently identified a imminent threat. They will, so as to not cause total panic and breakdown of world order, launch a rendezvous mission.

 

According to my source they have been working with a gentlemen “of a disagreeable Scottish disposition” to reconfigure some type of advanced drilling machinery that he had personally designed and built for the oil exploration industry, of which he is apparently a widely acclaimed consultant.

 

My source claims that the plan was to simply have the consultant, who is only referred to as “Ophiolite”, train the NASA mission crew in the intricacies of the drill’s operation. But after a month’s time the two parties have reached an impasse and confided to my source "they would rather die and take this whole %? planet with them” then spend one more day trying to understand through that man’s “incomprehensible accent”.

 

The consultant has however countered "that he could not in twice the allotted time teach that bunch of space jockeys how to operate a fruit stand".

 

With time running out the program director had no choice but to agree with consultant’s demands suggestion that he and his team of hard drinking malcontent Texas wildcat drillers fly that mission themselves . . . OH GOD HELP US!

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  • 1 month later...

Will they be participating just as they did before they left? Moment of truth.

 

On that note, I'll be gone until May. Hoooooly cow! I think I figured out what was driving me mad. Boy am I glad it was external factors!

 

3... 2... 1... Bye!

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