Jump to content

Jesus!


Guest jasonparker

Recommended Posts

i suggest 2600-2800

 

This is because,

 

The bible code guy says 2006

Newton said 2060

It would seem logical to suggest 2600, and 1950DA will hit earth in around 2800. Actualy othe second thouhgt this is my prediction for the apolcolyes rather than the second coming.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Rofl. My math teacher told me a funny (and seemingly true) story today. Back in the days, his friend was late for a high school lesson. During those days, there were waaay more Jesus-and-the-like posters around. The teacher didn't mark the guy being absent nor late; no punishment whatsoever. Why? The guy said that he saw a poster that said "Jesus is coming. Just wait.", and waited for Jesus there for a while, resulting to being late for the lesson. :)

 

So remember kids - don't obey posters. Except for the ones that say "Jump down the well". But seriously, there's quite often stupid things on posters. Such as "Vote Bush 2004".

Link to comment
Share on other sites

for all we know, he already came back, and is locked up in some loony bin seeing as how we consider people who claim to be god crazy.

 

Wonder how that would throw a wrench in the divine plan if jesus ended up getting locked up and drugged into a submission?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

my point is not about the drugs. you are talking about jesus, son of god. How is it possible? I'm certain he got it all planned out. That's God's Plan then.

That's what i believe.

 

If God is almighty, no matter how strong drug is, it would not take its effect. Unless, it is a man impersonating Jesus.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

my point is not about the drugs. you are talking about jesus, son of god. How is it possible? I'm certain he got it all planned out. That's God's Plan then.

That's what i believe.

 

If God is almighty, no matter how strong drug is, it would not take its effect. Unless, it is a man impersonating Jesus.

 

Amen!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 year later...
Why wouldn`t he want "IT" to come back?

 

Haven't you seen Dawn of the Dead?

 

I can easily imagine my response to Jesus's return being line Jay utters in Dogma: "He's the undead! Cut his freakin head off!"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Rofl. My math teacher told me a funny (and seemingly true) story today. Back in the days, his friend was late for a high school lesson. During those days, there were waaay more Jesus-and-the-like posters around. The teacher didn't mark the guy being absent nor late; no punishment whatsoever. Why? The guy said that he saw a poster that said "Jesus is coming. Just wait.", and waited for Jesus there for a while, resulting to being late for the lesson. :)

 

What does it say about this guy that he gave up waiting?

 

my point is not about the drugs. you are talking about jesus, son of god. How is it possible? I'm certain he got it all planned out. That's God's Plan then.

 

Well, I'm not sure he planned on dying from being nailed to a stick in the sun. But if it does happen I'm sure he'll be on drugs for our sins.

 

anyway, it doesn't matter what his race is.

 

I've never looked at religious indoctrination as dictating someone's race. Then again, race itself is poorly understood by most.

 

Either way, I figure he'll be as much as a christian as Marx is a communist. It's said that the religion this man inspired is very guilty of the things he was protesting against.

 

I believe the Bible says "like a thief in the night"

 

So the next time you're about to wallop that random burglar with a candlestick holder' date=' check to make sure he isn't Jesus first...[/quote']

 

I bet if you ask him if he's Jesus as soon as you see him he'd freak out and take off running so you wouldn't have to hit him. You could use this in court if you killed him too, "Don't worry your honor, if he is who I think he is, he'll be back."

 

This reminds me of a religious children's book I was subjected to when I was little. It said, If Jesus shows up at your door, don't bother straightening up (cleaning up your house real quick) but open the door immediately.

 

Me and my sister in one of my earliest philosophical conversations (in the mid to late 80s) were playing Zelda and wondered how would we rather go, nukes or Jesus? We both chanted for Jesus, although now I'm thinking nukes would be less of a pain in the ass.

 

To answer the question of this post, he'll be back when Galileo, Newton, and Einstein bring him back after they figure out how (assuming they're still working of course).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Don't they also say that there will be an anti-christ of some sort, the devil's son?

 

What if by some freakish random accidental co-incidence, god and the devil half sire the exact same person, so he's half son of god and half son of the devil?

 

Talk about a crisis of concience...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

According to some Jewish mystics, the messiah (could be Jesus if you're christian) will come in the year 6,000. Why? Because each day of creation may represent one thousand years in the hebrew calandar. It's now 5766 in the Hebrew calandar, so are we close to the messianic age? *cue music*

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If Jesus doesn't come soon, I think some of us should go see him - at least send the people who are waiting for him. Visitation goes both ways or so they said in family court. If you decide to go visit, pack well because it could be hell getting there.

 

Cheers,

Mot

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I guess if Jesus is returning then there's no reason why he shouldn't do so pretty soon. The first time round he came to tell us to stop pissing around with acient scriptures and to start being nice to each other and a disturbing amount of Christians seem to have forgotten that already.

 

Of course I don't have any particular reason to belive that Jesus as such is going to return any time soon although another preacher coming along to change the world for the better isn't impossible.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.