Taco Bell Posted October 15, 2008 Share Posted October 15, 2008 Can someone help me with a big problem? There is this girl(that I like very much:rolleyes:) and and she live about twelve miles away in the beverly hills(but that not the problem). I meet her every other week for two hour for sunday school. I'm home school so I rarely see other people I'm age so I feel that I have to react. My parent aren't over protective there super mega over protective and think I reject all social interaction and saying I like a girl would be unheard of. I don't really get out at all(not by choice) except when my parent want me to go with them and I found that even taking out the trash by my self once and while seem to feel relieving. I always acted like everything was all right so my parent are sort of oblivious but I do try and some big hints. I also have two brothers(that sleep in the same room as me in a very small house) that do reject all social interaction and one is eighteen and never said a thing about a girl. I also have a sister that is 22 and figured out have to deify my parent grip and might be a valuable asset. So with all that explained can someone find a relatively painless solution that will allow me to see this girl more? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iNow Posted October 15, 2008 Share Posted October 15, 2008 Webcam? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taco Bell Posted October 15, 2008 Author Share Posted October 15, 2008 webcam what? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
big314mp Posted October 15, 2008 Share Posted October 15, 2008 If you and your girl get webcams, you can video conference with each other over the internet. I hate to impose my views on your family, but have you actually tried talking with your parents about it? They may be more accepting than you are giving them credit for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taco Bell Posted October 15, 2008 Author Share Posted October 15, 2008 If you and your girl get webcams, you can video conference with each other over the internet. I hate to impose my views on your family, but have you actually tried talking with your parents about it? They may be more accepting than you are giving them credit for. First of all I ask a question and you are answer so your not imposing. I thought about that I don't have my own room and my brothers would just say "what the heck are you talking to the loser jerks from your class for". Usually, I would not care but we live in such confinement that there is no where to go except the bathroom or to lay on my bad and face the wall with my ipod. And its not like being there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
big314mp Posted October 15, 2008 Share Posted October 15, 2008 Hang out in class? It's kind of a worthless suggestion, but unless you actually face up to your parents about it, that's the best you'll be able to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iNow Posted October 15, 2008 Share Posted October 15, 2008 Maybe ask your Sunday school teacher if they have any special projects you can work on. Then, convince her to work on the project with you. You then will need to spend more time together, and you get to "fly under the radar" with your parents and brothers. Either way, good luck. It sure sounds like getting more interaction with others (male or female) would be good for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Skeptic Posted October 15, 2008 Share Posted October 15, 2008 Tell your parents that they are overprotective and that you need some freedom. If they don't want to talk about it, run away from home for a few days. Be sure to mention why you ran away when you get found. That will definitely give them something to talk about. Above advice is highly dependent on age. But if you are in your teens and your parents won't let you out of the house, you need to do something about it. Seems like they're crossing the line between being overprotective and abusively controlling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
big314mp Posted October 15, 2008 Share Posted October 15, 2008 Of course, whatever Mr Skeptic said is premised on the assumption that you could take care of yourself for a few days. If that isn't 110% true, don't try it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john5746 Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 First of all I ask a question and you are answer so your not imposing. Are you home schooled in English? I think you need more english conversation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taco Bell Posted October 16, 2008 Author Share Posted October 16, 2008 Tell your parents that they are overprotective and that you need some freedom. If they don't want to talk about it, run away from home for a few days. Be sure to mention why you ran away when you get found. That will definitely give them something to talk about. Above advice is highly dependent on age. But if you are in your teens and your parents won't let you out of the house, you need to do something about it. Seems like they're crossing the line between being overprotective and abusively controlling. This is a bit much. I still love them and they think I am responsible and I am. I haven't talk about it(the freedom to go out side) but I did i know they would say, "We trust you, its other people we don't trust" and I agree with that to a degree but my parent take it over the top. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Skeptic Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 This is a bit much. I still love them and they think I am responsible and I am. I haven't talk about it(the freedom to go out side) but I did i know they would say, "We trust you, its other people we don't trust" and I agree with that to a degree but my parent take it over the top. Well, it seems that they don't trust you to be able to handle other people. Yes, running away might seem much, but they can't keep you locked up either. The reason I suggested running away was because it could easily get the police involved, so your parents would have to be careful how much they punish you for it. It's more of a last resort kind of thing though. You say you respect them, so perhaps they are not so bad as I first thought. But you have to stand up to your parents in some way. They cannot continue to control your life. They are hurting you far more than you might realize, more than they might realize. By protecting you too much, they are preventing you from learning how to take care of yourself. When you are older and have to be on your own, that is when it is really going to hurt. Unless you plan to keep living with your parents until they die? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Severian Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 How old are you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ParanoiA Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 How are you getting on the internet to have this conversation? It would seem you have some level of resourcefulness to post in this thread without your brothers ratting you out. If you're at least 14 then I'm kind of with Skeptic, I would go see this girl whether they liked it or not. I would force them to physically stop me. You can love your parents and they can be wrong and still mean well. But you're not being respected and I doubt you will get it until you earn it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realitycheck Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 (edited) Next time you see her, pass her a note and ask her for her phone number. It's best to start small, take baby steps. Take things slow. This way, you know that the feeling is truly mutual and that you are not just being smitten by her smile. This way, you don't blow things totally out of proportion with your family, of all things, only to be let down by false premises. Edited October 16, 2008 by agentchange Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taco Bell Posted October 16, 2008 Author Share Posted October 16, 2008 I'm 15 1/2 years old and the girl is not problem I'm all most definite that she likes me. It is very difficult writing this, I'm change windows second and typing words when I can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realitycheck Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 Classic Romeo and Juliet. Can't help you there. I still say get her number, then you can talk to her in private. Try to work out a time when you can call her. Definitely much better than running away from home and showing up in her Beverly Hills Lawn, just so her dad has you sent to juvi. If you call her first, you can find out what kind of person her father is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
big314mp Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 What exactly do you do in your free time? I think you mentioned lying around on your bed with an iPod...but seriously? Get outta the house more! I can almost guarantee you that if a girl asks about what you do for fun, and all you can come up with is the above... There are other nice benefits too. Like getting to meet people. And having fun. A part of me finds it funny that you came here for help Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glider Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 This is a bit much. I still love them and they think I am responsible and I am. I haven't talk about it(the freedom to go out side) but I did i know they would say, "We trust you, its other people we don't trust" and I agree with that to a degree but my parent take it over the top.Other people, trustworthy and untrustworthy, will always be around. That's just life. Ultimately, it is the role of your parents to equip you live in that life, not to teach you to hide from it. Socialisation, learning how to get along with all kinds of people, is a significant part of growing up. It is something everybody has to do in order to be able to function as a member of any society. You can't do it by being hidden away from others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
npts2020 Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 Taco Bell: I can't help but smile that you are on a forum laden with nerds asking for advice about interpersonal relationships but here is my 2 cents for what it is worth. At some point in your life you will have to stand up to your parents if you ever wish to lead your own life. IMO the first thing I would do is ask my mother about her dating and what she would have done differently, if such a conversation is possible between you. Then I would have a similar talk with my dad. It may turn out that all you have to do is ask if your friend can go along on a family day trip or can you both go on a church outing or other chaperoned activity. If you cannot reach satisfaction or come to any sort of agreement via that method you may want to start researching emancipation of minors for your state (the laws vary widely from state to state, with many gray areas). In that case, make sure you have a job and place to live beforehand. Running away should be your very last option, since that will often get you into the juvenile system, not the best place to become an adult for most. You should under no circumstances get your friend or anyone else pregnant before you have been on your own long enough to be financially and emotionally secure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taco Bell Posted October 16, 2008 Author Share Posted October 16, 2008 (edited) what exactly do you do in your free time? I think you mentioned lying around on your bed with an ipod...but seriously?Read, do school work, play video games, program in C and Cocoa, and program my AVR microcontrollers for robotics and other electronic things. Get outta the house more! I can almost guarantee you that if a girl asks about what you do for fun' date=' and all you can come up with is the above... There are other nice benefits too. Like getting to meet people. And having fun. A part of me finds it funny that you came here for help[/quote'] If I could I would. I know. If I could I would. These people(scienceforums.net) helped me in the past. Other people, trustworthy and untrustworthy, will always be around. That's just life. Ultimately, it is the role of your parents to equip you live in that life[/b'], not to teach you to hide from it. And there not doing that, thats a little bit of the problem(actually a pretty big part). Edited October 16, 2008 by Taco Bell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
insane_alien Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 So, What exactly is stopping you from leaving the house and going to meet her, or anyone else? it sounds like fear of what your parents will do to stop you. but really what do you have to be afraid of? you are too young for them to evict you from the house legally. sure, they'll probably be mad at you but you'll probably make some friends that will help you deal with it if its a problem for you. and, seeing as they are religious, the excuse, 'i went to meet a friend from sunday school' will probably lessen any anger they do have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Skeptic Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 (edited) If you're at least 14 then I'm kind of with Skeptic, I would go see this girl whether they liked it or not. I would force them to physically stop me. You can love your parents and they can be wrong and still mean well. But you're not being respected and I doubt you will get it until you earn it. I actually suggested running away from home. Going to that girl's house would probably be the worst place he could go if he were running away, as it would introduce another factor for his parents (and the girl's parents) to worry about. In case I wasn't clear, it was a temporary running away I was suggesting, and as a last resort if he can't talk some sense into his parents. On the other hand, simply saying that he's going over to visit her whether they like it or not seems more responsible than running away. I'm 15 1/2 years old I'd advise getting a job as soon as you can. I think you will need special permission if you're below 16, but once you're 16 there's nothing to stop you. A job means you have your own money, which greatly reduces the control your parents would have over you. A good job means you can rent your own place if you need to. Edited October 16, 2008 by Mr Skeptic multiple post merged Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taco Bell Posted October 17, 2008 Author Share Posted October 17, 2008 So, What exactly is stopping you from leaving the house and going to meet her, or anyone else?I need a car to get there. it sounds like fear of what your parents will do to stop you. but really what do you have to be afraid of? you are too young for them to evict you from the house legally.sure' date=' they'll probably be mad at you but you'll probably make some friends that will help you deal with it if its a problem for you.[/quote']When there yelling or what ever they will do, there is no escape no door to close no room of my own to go to no refuge. and, seeing as they are religious, the excuse, 'i went to meet a friend from sunday school' will probably lessen any anger they do have.This is kind of good idea except I need to drive there(her house) even from class. What ever I do it will still relying heavy on my parents(transportation, probably not money). I was thinking something that involves small to moderate size steps in which my parent do not get mad and or angry at me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Skeptic Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 First of all, establish that you can leave the house. Go for a walk, to the library, or a group meeting of people that share the same interests as you. It is unacceptable if they will refuse to let you out of the house, and in that case, small steps won't do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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