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Are there any empathics here?


Bettina
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Thank you' date=' thank you, thank you.

 

The [i']but you can't help everyone[/i] is not the main problem. Its much much deeper than that and not just people. It happens with my dog and even mice.

 

An example is when my dad and I went and saw the movie "Titanic". When that ship was going down, I felt a wave come over me. Not an emotional wave like what most people get when something bad happens, but deeper than that. I actually felt those people thinking about not seeing there loved ones again.

 

I know what I was seeing was a movie played by actors and special effects, but one of the actresses was so good, that I was put inside her. In that instant, just like a flash, I knew what the real person on that ship was experiencing. I start breathing deeply, and I'm no longer in the movie theatre. I'm with that women on that ship. My eyes well up and tears come down. When the scene changes or switches to another part, I break out of it, but the damage is done. I will vividly replay that for days.

 

My dad, well into his third box of popcorn, never shed a tear. I felt like slapping him.

 

That was a movie. I get the same thing in a room full of people, or a church or the senior home. I can go weeks without one, but at some point, someone sets me off. Its almost like a vibe of some kind that I get. I can't explain the feeling except that it becomes overwhelming, and I know what they are thinking. I know why there looking at me. Like I said in another post, a doctor told my dad that I was an empath of the worst kind. I never paid any attention to what he said, and I stopped taking those pills, but now I want to know what this is.

 

One thing. If I spot something, and look away quick so as not to linger, then I can block it and I don't get the connection. But, I have to concentrate on something else quickly.

 

I really want to hear from others like me, and what they do to block it if they can. This is so hard to explain the feeling I get.

 

Thanks for taking this as a sign for help.

 

Bettina

 

I have my brain under total control, even physical pain is bearable with this. Its hard to teach, but once its learnt its like breaking free from reality.

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I never used it, but alot of people seem to get to the same state of consciousness using meditation.

 

My ability to dissociate comes from the realisation that my mind is just a reflection of the environmental stimuli it is experiencing. I have learnt to seperate each stimuli into categories and then "pidgeon hole" them so I can understand exactly what individual effect they are having at anyone time. My approach is not perfect however, extreme emotions like rage can break me and I let go to my irrational(perhaps more human&animal) self. Alcohol also makes me lose control.

 

I sometimes let go on purpose, especially when a loved one is feeling bad. I do this so I can empathise with them and make them see I really care and want to share their pain.

 

Total control of your mind is an awesome thing, you should try lucid dreaming, you won't want to wake up.

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This is one I put in another part of the forum, but I want it to be here. Maybe you other empaths could look at it......Geez...is this me or what. This guy knows what it is....exept the telepathy part....I dont buy that.

 

I do write poetry, sing, and am very attached to dad, and am very loving.

 

 

http://www.beyondthedoor.co.uk/listenersguild/empaths.htm

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I write poetry and sing, and I love people close to me. I have empathy, but to me it isn't a weakness, it allows me to use all sorts of machavellian tricks like reverse psychology and poker faces, I can even cry spotaneously if I want, I bet I could fool your empathic ability.

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Web, theres no such thing as ESP, everything is a sensory perception, it is just how aware of your sensory perceptions you are. I can appear to be psychic, its all in making others think what you want them to think, most people aren't very emotionally aware.

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It is really unfortunate that "psychic" abilities have been comercialized and twisted by people just trying to make a buck. I'm not talking about palm readers and their ilk. Perhaps you just need to get a bit older in order to be able to understand that there is a lot of life that won't fit into your pigeonholes. It is dangerous to hang onto preconceived notions without keeping an open mind.

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I write poetry and sing, and I love people close to me. I have empathy, but to me it isn't a weakness, it allows me to use all sorts of machavellian tricks like reverse psychology and poker faces, I can even cry spotaneously if I want, I bet I could fool your empathic ability.

I've seen some people cry, that won't trigger anything with me, almost as if it wasn't genuine, or that person wasn't in that kind of pain or sadness. For example, crying kids at the mall, or relationships breaking up, barely register anything. Animals always register because its genuine.

 

This "ability" as you call it is debillitating to me. It can drop me down for days depending on the type of vibe I got and you could probably fool me if your good enough but that wouldn't be helping me at all. You have no idea how it is to be in a situation that causes my eyes to dart from side to side looking for what just triggered me. I think my hearing is such that I may pick up something before actually making contact.

 

I would do anything to get rid of this curse. In the school or the mall I'm fine. Its the senior home, church, TV news, and being alone and quiet that I have to be cautious about. Old people especially can really send out a strong vibe.

 

Webmistress.....I don't like the word "Telepath" because it brings in all kinds of quack ideas. I can't send any messages like they do on television.

 

Bettina

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"Webmistress.....I don't like the word "Telepath" because it brings in all kinds of quack ideas. I can't send any messages like they do on television."

 

Neither can they! As I said before it is unfortunate where the so called "psychic realm" has gone. I begin to wonder if you battle depression to some extent and the empathy triggers an episode.

 

I don't know, just trying to help.

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"Webmistress.....I don't like the word "Telepath" because it brings in all kinds of quack ideas. I can't send any messages like they do on television."

 

Neither can they! As I said before it is unfortunate where the so called "psychic realm" has gone. I begin to wonder if you battle depression to some extent and the empathy triggers an episode.

 

I don't know' date=' just trying to help.[/quote']

 

When I spend a day at the mall, I'm happy. At home and school, I'm equally happy. I dont think its depression that triggers it. Sad music will...

 

Bettina :confused:

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When I spend a day at the mall' date=' I'm happy. At home and school, I'm equally happy. I dont think its depression that triggers it. Sad music will...

 

Bettina :confused:[/quote']

 

Well let's inquire a little further:

 

1. Do you cry several times a week?

2. Do you feel more irritated than usual, sometimes to the point of agitation.

3. Have you lost interest in, or are you stressed by activities, that used to bring you pleasure.

4. Do you wake up in the middle of the night or earlier than usual in the morning, feeling tearful?

5. Have you had a significant weight loss or have your periods all but stopped. How is your appetite?

6. Do you either sleep much less or sleep much more?

7. Have others commented on your moods or said you seem really out of it?

8. Do you feel an increasing loss of energy?

9. Do you feel worthless?

10. Do you feel guilty without really knowing why?

11. Do you have secret, frequent thoughts consisting of brutal self-criticism.

12. Do you feel indecisive and sometimes panicky and upset over decisions.

13. Do you think a lot about the heavy things in life, like illness, death, violence, etc.

14. Do you feel hopeless?

15. Do you feel helpless?

16. Do you ever have sudden thoughts of hurting yourself?

17. Do you ever physically hurt yourself -- as in hitting, cutting, or burning?

 

You don't have to tell all your secrets, but if you want to count them up and PM me with your score, we can discuss.

 

A little worried about you,

Coral

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Bettina, I know exactly how you feel. I suffer from OCD, and thus terrible thougts or emotions are triggered in me because of what happens to others. For instance, my neighbor, David, often throws pinecones and sticks into goose nests. When I found this out, I spent the rest of my day being the mother goose, watching my eggs die right beside me. I could not escape the empathetic mindset. And for what it's worth, I now involentaraly weep for Jessica.

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It is really unfortunate that "psychic" abilities have been comercialized and twisted by people just trying to make a buck. I'm not talking about palm readers and their ilk. Perhaps you just need to get a bit older in order to be able to understand that there is a lot of life that won't fit into your pigeonholes. It is dangerous to hang onto preconceived notions without keeping an open mind.

 

Hehe, I don't buy into the commercialised stuff, most of that is just lies, people find out details about the audience and profile them, profiling is a easy, its guess work and logic, plus how good you understand people in different environments.

 

Everything fits into my pigeonholes, that was a analogy for how I compartmentalise my thoughts/experiences and how I use that ability to realise how every aspect of a situation is influencing my emotions, thus at will I am able to amplify or diminish any emotion I am currently experiencing. It seems in Bettinas case that the amplify switch is turned on permanently.

 

Thx for your PM. And I know its dangerous to hold onto preconceived notions without keeping an open mind. My mind is so open I index it.

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I've seen some people cry' date=' that won't trigger anything with me, almost as if it wasn't genuine, or that person wasn't in that kind of pain or sadness. For example, crying kids at the mall, or relationships breaking up, barely register anything. Animals always register because its genuine.

 

This "ability" as you call it is debillitating to me. It can drop me down for days depending on the type of vibe I got and you could probably fool me if your good enough but that wouldn't be helping me at all. You have no idea how it is to be in a situation that causes my eyes to dart from side to side looking for what just triggered me. I think my hearing is such that I may pick up something before actually making contact.

 

I would do anything to get rid of this curse. In the school or the mall I'm fine. Its the senior home, church, TV news, and being alone and quiet that I have to be cautious about. Old people especially can really send out a strong vibe.

 

Webmistress.....I don't like the word "Telepath" because it brings in all kinds of quack ideas. I can't send any messages like they do on television.

 

Bettina[/quote']

 

Hmmm I guess you could see through me if I wasn't genuine, but alot of people cannot, I don't like to deceive, but I know I can if I have to. Perhaps you should take up poker, if you can hone your gift to tell when people are excited or not you can call their bluffs, double bluff and in general raise the stakes in you favour.

 

Your gift need not be a weakness, it just needs to be trained. Your disability may currently be affecting you adversely, but when you turn adversity into opportunity, not only have you become stronger, but you have conquered fear.

 

Part of my ability came from my teenage years when I was depressed, I learnt to deal with emotion differently, I had been bottling alot of things up and deceiving myself. An event (call it a social disaster) triggered depression and led to the realisation of all those negative things. Since I have recovered from that I have learnt to be open to all my emotions and recognise where they are affecting at anyone time, and the experience which is triggering them. It also helps with anger management.... sure beats hitting a post and breaking my knuckles, like I used to do.

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Well let's inquire a little further:

 

1. Do you cry several times a week?

2. Do you feel more irritated than usual' date=' sometimes to the point of agitation.

3. Have you lost interest in, or are you stressed by activities, that used to bring you pleasure.

4. Do you wake up in the middle of the night or earlier than usual in the morning, feeling tearful?

5. Have you had a significant weight loss or have your periods all but stopped. How is your appetite?

6. Do you either sleep much less or sleep much more?

7. Have others commented on your moods or said you seem really out of it?

8. Do you feel an increasing loss of energy?

9. Do you feel worthless?

10. Do you feel guilty without really knowing why?

11. Do you have secret, frequent thoughts consisting of brutal self-criticism.

12. Do you feel indecisive and sometimes panicky and upset over decisions.

13. Do you think a lot about the heavy things in life, like illness, death, violence, etc.

14. Do you feel hopeless?

15. Do you feel helpless?

16. Do you ever have sudden thoughts of hurting yourself?

17. Do you ever physically hurt yourself -- as in hitting, cutting, or burning?

 

You don't have to tell all your secrets, but if you want to count them up and PM me with your score, we can discuss.

 

A little worried about you,

Coral[/quote']

 

As you can pretty much tell by my posts that I have no secrets and I gave these questions careful thought. So with that, I can answer no to each one except two. #13 which is a yes, but only after the episode occurs. I don't just randomly think this way so maybe its not what you meant. #15 is not a trigger, but I feel that way sometimes if faced with #13.

I never had thougts of killing or hurting myself ever. Its not like that. Thanks for the worry.

 

One thing I do know is that hearing bad news on the radio doesn't affect me. I need to see either an image or a real person. Thats the way it works with me, and I'm worried about me too.

 

Bettina, I know exactly how you feel. I suffer from OCD, and thus terrible thougts or emotions are triggered in me because of what happens to others. For instance, my neighbor, David, often throws pinecones and sticks into goose nests. When I found this out, I spent the rest of my day being the mother goose, watching my eggs die right beside me. I could not[/i'] escape the empathetic mindset. And for what it's worth, I not involentaraly weep for Jessica.

 

I always get recurring images which is why I am having such a tough time. When I'm confronted with the initial episode then I guess OCD is what keeps bringing those images back for days. I don't really know. All I know is that the image of Jessica fighting for her last breath plays repeatedly in my head. I saw it in color, intense and vivid to the point that I actually became her and thats what made me sick to my stomach. She is wearing off now and in a few more days, she will occupy only a small part of my mind where the others have gone.

 

Sorcerer.....It's not a gift. Its a curse. If I could read minds, my dad would take me to his work and make me sit with him at his meetings. I know he would. I also know what normal emotion is. Seeing someone cry in front of me makes me feel sad, but doesn't trigger anything. I still feel ok.

 

Tommorrow is Easter Sunday and I will be up on the altar doing what I always do for two masses. My dad will be in the front row, the church will be full of people, and while I sing, I will surely tear up and those old people will pick up on that and begin whispering among themselves. Somehow, this makes them feel better as if I am praying for them more realistically than the priest is, but I'm not because I don't pray.

 

The type of feelings I get while I sing in church are pure emotion caused by seeing some sad people in a church environment, the organ music, and the beauty of the songs I sing. I know what that is. I'm also not picking up on any one person because of the distance between me and them. I think in this case, its me who is sending my feelings to them.

 

This is not the same thing as the overwhelming intense kind I get seeing someone like Jessica, or someone with real pain, sadness, or someone with intense eyes that I can feel trying to tell me something. The senior home is a bright place, and I can pretty much have a good time singing there. There really good to us there. (my choir friends)

 

I hope someone here picks up my meanings and maybe some ideas. I don't want to spend my summer being in some physco office listening to a list of pills he wants to give me.

 

Have a great Easter......

Bettina

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Bettina - there are many psychology forums online' date=' perhaps it would be in your best interest to seek additional council from them.

 

Keep talking to us, and let us know how things go for you.

 

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&safe=off&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla%3Aen-US%3Aofficial&q=psychology+forum&btnG=Search[/quote']

 

Thanks, I'm checking it out now..

 

Bettina

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As you can pretty much tell by my posts that I have no secrets and I gave these questions careful thought. So with that' date=' I can answer no to each one except two. #13 which is a yes, but only after the episode occurs. I don't just randomly think this way so maybe its not what you meant. #15 is not a trigger, but I feel that way sometimes if faced with #13.

[/quote']

 

Then I think it's pretty clear you don't have major depression and you are probably not Bipolar II either. The questions I presented were from the DSM only reworded a little.

 

Much of what you describe can stem from two things: Being in your teens and being female.

 

That doctor who said you were an "empath of the worst kind" was not using standard psychological language. There is nothing in the DSM about empaths. :) To put a positive spin on it, he may have been saying that you weren't psychologically ill, just emotional.I never had thougts of killing or hurting myself ever. Its not like that. Thanks for the worry.

 

One thing I do know is that hearing bad news on the radio doesn't affect me. I need to see either an image or a real person. Thats the way it works with me, and I'm worried about me too.
]

 

I don't watch TV, but I happened to be at one of the local schools doing observations when the terrorists attacked the Twin Towers. Foolishly, in class after class, the teachers kept the televisions turned on in the classrooms. Over and over the children and I watched those planes perform their terrible missle function. For weeks afterward, I relived that visual image both waking and sleeping. I actually sought the help of an counselor because I could feel myself becoming depressed. She told me that what I was experiencing was perfectly normal. She said her case load had increased due to 9/11 and that many, many people were struggling with recurring visual images. Visual images can be much, much more powerful that audio and print media.

 

If you are wise, you will determine not to get your news from television and you will avoid watching these news story and you will especially avoid watching them again and becoming fixated on them. It is clear that they are doing you no good. You "re-experiencing" of brutal crimes -- from whatever cause, will do nothing to prevent them from occuring nor will such "re-experiencing" make one single human being more decent, sensitive, or wise or take one iota of pain from victims. It will only distract you from the pleasures of your youthful years (which you can never recover) and distract you from more purposeful action.

 

I always get recurring images which is why I am having such a tough time. When I'm confronted with the initial episode then I guess OCD is what keeps bringing those images back for days. I don't really know. All I know is that the image of Jessica fighting for her last breath plays repeatedly in my head. I saw it in color, intense and vivid to the point that I actually became her and thats what made me sick to my stomach. She is wearing off now and in a few more days, she will occupy only a small part of my mind where the others have gone.

 

But there is no need for you to go there.

 

It's not a gift. Its a curse.

 

I know.

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Much of what you describe can stem from two things: Being in your teens and being female.

Sorry, but its much deeper than that. You can't imagine what I feel. How real it is. How I can become the other person within a minutes time. I wish it was as simple as you describe. :-(

 

That doctor who said you were an "empath of the worst kind" was not using standard psychological language. There is nothing in the DSM about empaths. :) To put a positive spin on it, he may have been saying that you weren't psychologically ill, just emotional.

 

He never said that to me directly. He told my dad...who later told me. He also wanted to test me electrically somehow and have another doctor look at me, but I cried a lot and so my dad had to call him and said no. I was younger and more frightened then.

I looked up a DSM site and it does mention it but I would have to pay to get the PDF. Look at the top.

 

http://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/search?sendit=Search&pubdate_year=&volume=&firstpage=&author1=&author2=&title=&andorexacttitle=and&titleabstract=&andorexacttitleabs=and&fulltext=Empathic+diagnosis&andorexactfulltext=and&journalcode=ajp&fmonth=Oct&fyear=1965&tmonth=Mar&tyear=2005&fdatedef=1+October+1965&tdatedef=1+March+2005&flag=&RESULTFORMAT=1&hits=10&hitsbrief=25&sortspec=relevance&sortspecbrief=relevance

 

If it turns out not to be a psychological problem like you suggest, then I can't be treated, and I will have to look elsewhere. I just know I want it stopped. I would do anything now.

 

Bettina

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All I know is that the image of Jessica fighting for her last breath plays repeatedly in my head. I saw it in color, intense and vivid to the point that I actually became her and thats what made me sick to my stomach. She is wearing off now and in a few more days, she will occupy only a small part of my mind where the others have gone.

That sounds alot like PTSD. Have you had any other traumatic experiences? Or have you ever, if and when you're experiencing terrible things, felt like you were outside you body? Also, unless it's too painfull to say, were you actually there when Jessica was killed? You say you saw it in color, which is slightly ambiguous.

Concerned,

Nevermore

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There is absolutely no possible way for a person to feel other peoples emotions, literally.

Emotions are caused by chemical reactions? How can you feel these when it is happening to somebody else?

Empathy is the result of several complex subconsious and consious desicions. Minute facial muscles contracting/stance/tone of voice ect, icammot but this any other way, so i'll be blunt, this has to be some form of delusion, possibly caused by your conflicting desires to be different, and everybody to be the same.

You are constantly forcing yourself to be the outsider looking in, because this makes you happy.

When you say you can look into peoples eyes and feel what they! Are you perhaps bored when you do this?Sounds like an overactive imagineation.

This person you saw, should not have given you pills. Undoubtedly though they were placebos, and this sleepiness you felt was undoubtedly the strain of therapy, and your - for want of a better word - your imagineation.

Why not try listening to classical music, Puccini is a good start, as this can be very theraputic.

The fact is though, that you have convinced yourself that you can do this, and are unwilling to let go.

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When you see bad events over and over in your head, they are called "flashbacks". I had visions of finding my husband dead for months afterwards. Just before my mother died, she had a major stomach bleed - she vomited blood and it even came out of her eyes. I still have flashbacks of that, sometimes I dream about it and it wakes me up.

 

Here's what I really worry about for you - if seeing or hearing about bad things brings on such feelings I really worry about what will happen when something bad happens to someone close to you.

 

Doctors and nurses have to learn to desensitize themselves, so that they can focus and take care of their patients.

 

Is there a doctor who attends your church that you might be able to talk to on a personal basis? Another good source would be a paramedic. You might be able to go to your local fire department and ask them how they handle their emotions when they have to treat someone who has been horribly injured in an accident. They might know about a book that would help.

 

Happy Easter, Bettina.

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He never said that to me directly. He told my dad...who later told me. He also wanted to test me electrically somehow and have another doctor look at me' date=' but I cried a lot and so my dad had to call him and said no. I was younger and more frightened then.

[/quote']

 

Bettina, it seems to me that you may want, and at your age should be entitled to, more information about your diagnosis and treatment than you were given. If someone said that my daughter were "an empath" I would immediately demand more information. Ask your father to be more forthcoming, both about the reasons you were taken to the doctor and what his specific diagnosis was.

 

 

Yes I did look at the top: It says empathic diagnosis. I would hate to see a psychologist or psychiatrist who was not empathic in diagnosis.

 

I searched around a little and the only respectable psychological reference to the word empath that I could find was used in a court case in which multiple personality was an issue. It seems an empath is the connecting or mediating personality between other personalities. BTW, the DSM no longer uses the term multiple personality, it is not called Dissociative Disorder and is often connected to PTSD.

 

If it turns out not to be a psychological problem like you suggest, then I can't be treated, and I will have to look elsewhere. I just know I want it stopped. I would do anything now.

 

Fashions come and go in diagnoses. For instance, that HSP is just pop psychology now. For all we know, it may someday be an accepted diagnosis. You don't have to prediagnose yourself to get psychiatric help. However, I would start with a good psychologist with whom you feel rapport and see what she suggests. Since you are so devastated by this, just having a skilled person to talk to and to evaluate your problem who be good. We really cannot do online diagnoses for you here. Nor do I think you should try to diagnose yourself by visiting New Age or pop psychology sites. These will only confuse you.

 

You say you have a good rapport with your father so talk to him about how troubled you feel.

 

Also, there is no reason to assume that visiting a psychologist will result in medication. I expect most people would respect your right to refuse medication.

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Coral wrote:

Also, there is no reason to assume that visiting a psychologist will result in medication. I expect most people would respect your right to refuse medication.

 

It is my understanding that psychologists are not able to prescribe medications, only psychiatrists can - is that not true?

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