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Are there any empathics here?


Bettina

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Coral wrote:

 

It is my understanding that psychologists are not able to prescribe medications' date=' only psychiatrists can - is that not true?[/quote']

 

In some states they can now prescribe but they must take special training. Naturally the psychiatrists say the training is not adequate. I don't know enought about it to know if this is merely a "turf" objection. I think the conscientiousness of the prescriber is paramount. If the prescriber, whatever his or her training, is getting all the current info from drug reps, this is not good.

 

IMO, young people should almost never be prescribed SSRIs. But I am not a doctor and don't even play one on TV. :)

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everyone is empathic to some extent. (the next bit sounds flippant, but it isnt) if a man gets kicked in the testicles then every man and quite a few women who see it will feel his pain. if someone throws up, then its quite common to feel sick in responce, even if you were completely fine before hand. most people feel sad if they see someone who is upset or happy if they see someone who is laughing, its just that people are empathic to different extents. some people barely emphasise with even close loved ones, whereas some will emphasise strongly with strangers and animals. i am quite emphatic, and when i was younger i would get really upset whenever i saw someone suffer, even if i didnt know them or know why they were upset, i would just know and i would feel as if whatever had happened to them (even tho i didnt know what had happened to them) had happened to me. and it is still unplesant in the extreme when i notice from someones eyes that they are deeply unhappy, or when i see/hear of someone suffering. but like sorcerer said, the trick is to suppress it when its unplesant. the empathic feelings are still there, and theyre still unplesant, but i wouldnt give up the feeling for anything, even tho it is unplesant.

 

take this thread for example. when i read about how upset you were and the way your empathy makes you feel, i instantly started to, i dunno, a little part of me started to immagine it was you so that i could feel how you might feel about this, and it wasnt particulaly pleasant, and out of reflex the feelings got squished down small -- i can still feel them, but theyre not overwhelming.

 

and thats why i replyed, cos i sympathise with you -- and thats why i wouldnt give up the empathy, because it makes me notice other people and care, and makes me try to help when i can, but the ability to suppress it --callouse as this may sound -- allows me to not care when i cannot do anything, which is a very useful ability. with loved ones, though, i always let go and empathise completely. with strangers, i feel my ability to empathise makes me treat them with care, and with people i can do noting to help -- im still aware of their feelings, but i can ignoor them -- theres no reason to suffer just because someone else is, especially if theres nothing i can do for them.

 

and when you empathiise with a happy person, espesially a friend, then it more than makes up for it. just seing a friend smile or laugh is enough to make me euphoric usually.

 

id suggest trying to learn to suppress the feeligs when theyre bad. allow yourself to empathise, but keep your emotions from overwhelming you when you are upset, which is something i learnet to do along time ago so i cannot remember how exactly it was that i learnt it, sorry. but i think a part of it was not shying away from the bad feelings; allow them to wash over you, embrase them, understand them, and then learn tosuppress them when they are too strong and unjustified. but that might just be me, im a bit odd in some ways (as we all are)

 

sincerely hope that is of some small help

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That sounds alot like PTSD. Have you had any other traumatic experiences? Or have you ever' date=' if and

 

when you're experiencing terrible things, felt like you were outside you body? Also, unless it's too painfull to say, were you

 

actually there when Jessica was killed? You say you saw it in color, which is slightly ambiguous.

Concerned,

Nevermore[/quote']

 

Thanks for the thought. I'm looking into PTSD now and I've printed out some data to look at...Your question on whether I was there when Jessica was murdered. Not in the literal sense of course, and not while it was happening, but once I read about it and saw her picture and her eyes, The trigger hit and I was instantly there. Definately. While I became increasingly overwhelmed by it, I could picture myself inside her body lying on the ground fighting him off, crying and begging. I could see him clearly thru her eyes as if they were my own. I sensed his hands and saw his cold eyes. In the next instant I would be outside looking down at her being held. I could almost feel her being touched and I could see her face clearly...Geez it was horrifing. I wished I could have helped her and this was the point where I got sick to my stomach. I could hear her screaming too, trying to yell for help. My breathing goes up, and I can hear my heart picking up pace like it is right now.

 

When the episode is over, It leaves me down for days. Sometimes it repeats again....the flashbacks coquina mentioned, but then in about two weeks, it fades and she is suppressed but not gone. I can handle her now. Once in school, I'm ok because the pace doesn't let me think about it, and when I say I saw it in color, I meant that when it becomes really vivid, I could almost tell what color clothes she had on.

 

When I'm happy, which I am 90% of the time, I feel fine. But when an episode gets me, I go down fast. I've had this all my life, but it gets worse each year. Maybe because the news gets worse each year.

 

possibly caused by your conflicting desires to be different' date=' and everybody to be the same.

You are constantly forcing yourself to be the outsider looking in, because this makes you happy.[/quote']

 

I really don't understand you at all, but I don't think your making fun at me, I just think you don't believe its that bad.

 

take this thread for example. when i read about how upset you were and the way your empathy makes you feel, i instantly started to, i dunno, a little part of me started to immagine it was you so that i could feel how you might feel about this, and it wasnt particulaly pleasant, and out of reflex the feelings got squished down small -- i can still feel them, but theyre not overwhelming

 

You were feeling normal emotions. You have a heart :) I like that. I get those too. Did your episodes make you sick to your stomach. knots, can't eat, clammy feeling all over,? Thats what I get multilplied by 10. I can handle the tears in church, because those are just emotions that don't last more than the service itself. But the big ones like Jessica, tear me apart. No...its not pleasant at all.

 

One more thing. I'm the quiet type, soft spoken and tend to look more than talk. Hard to tell from here, huh. But sometimes, and I do mean sometimes, I can and do pick up vibes or whatever they call it from other people like I explained before. I posted a link called "the empath report". It fits me like a glove.

 

I know this is off topic so forgive me, but I sang and felt good in church today, with the usual tears when I sing some of the deep meaning songs. My 15 year old male friend is really great. 15 1/2 he keeps telling me. He really helps me get thru some of those parts and he sings beautiful.

 

Now....I've known this all along, but today I'm more positive than ever that our priest is using that trait of mine as an attention getting freebie :mad: to draw in more people. He's using me. My dad says thats not true, but I know it is. He's a nice guy, and really is intense in his interpretation of the mass. He really believes there is a god. (poor thing) But I'm beginning to wonder if he is selling tickets.

 

Thanks for the advice and trying to help, but I see doctors as cold people who are giving advice to someone without ever experiencing it themselves. Its like a priest explaining marriage to someone while he is celebate. I'm going to talk to dad tommorrow about going back to the doctors. I can't stand this anymore.

 

Bettina

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Thanks for the advice and trying to help, but I see doctors as cold people who are giving advice to someone without ever experiencing it themselves.

 

As I said in my previous remarks, Doctors must learn how to disassociate themselves from their patients. If they couldn't, they wouldn't be able to give effective medical advice.

 

Another group of people who must do this are hospice nurses. I know a person who is in charge of one of these facilities. She is around dying people all of the time. When I first met her, I was very surprised at her profession, because she acted like a clown. However, when my dad was very ill, I asked her for advice and she was so very helpful, kind and caring.

 

She and I talked about how she is able to do what she does, and she says she has learned to "let it go" when she leaves the situation. Until she did that, she never got any sleep, worrying about whether one of her patients was uncomfortable while she was not there.

 

Certainly, some doctors come off as cold and uncaring. You will have to find someone whose personality meshes with yours. Maybe your school guidance councilor could recommend someone.

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You were feeling normal emotions. You have a heart I like that. I get those too. Did your episodes make you sick to your stomach. knots, can't eat, clammy feeling all over,? Thats what I get multilplied by 10. I can handle the tears in church, because those are just emotions that don't last more than the service itself. But the big ones like Jessica, tear me apart. No...its not pleasant at all.

 

i think the point that i was trying to make was that 'being empathic' is nothing supernatural, its just a normal thing that everyone has - just to different degrees. if you have it to a high degree, then you have to learn to control it to stop it being a problem, same as any aspect of the mind if posessed in high amounts. like coquena said, you have to disassociate yourself. (oh and yeah, i used to get the knots/feeling unwell thing)

 

i said that i always let go and emphasise with my friends, well this is not actually 100% true. if a friend is upset, then i can emphasise/sympathise with them, and understand how they feel - but i can also detatch, so that im calm and rational enough to help them. you have to be able to

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Dad got me an appointment with a female (glad) psychiatrist who is a friend of one of his friends. I go next Tuesday but she wants me to go to my GP for a blood test first. She is going to fax him what she wants done. That I do tommorrow. So, I will let you know. I feel fine right now and my ghosts are suppressed.

I still want to hear from anyone like me, so I will keep checking back. I know I could never work in a hospice. I think those people who do are people who have suppressed emotions to begin with. I think they have to work hard to bring emotion out. The exact opposite of me.

My Guidance counseler is a dork, so I had a talk with dad last night. He said he would take care of it, and he did.

 

Bettina

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I wonder if beleif in the supernatural is hindering your ability to realise the coporeal(e.g not ethereal as in a soul) nature of your mind, realisation that you are just the product of the things you experience and your emotional reactions to them. I could be completely wrong, you might not beleive in the supernatural and just go to Church because your family does. But anyway, my point is:

 

he things you experience affect your emotional reactions and these effects how you behave. How you behave also affects the things you experience and hence your emotional reactions. *---->Experience----->Emotional reaction-------->behaviour---*

 

Look at this loop of events, and think about at which step you can break the cycle.

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I wonder if beleif in the supernatural is hindering your ability to realise the coporeal(e.g not ethereal as in a soul) nature of your mind' date=' realisation that you are just the product of the things you experience and your emotional reactions to them. I could be completely wrong, you might not beleive in the supernatural and just go to Church because your family does. But anyway, my point is:

 

he things you experience affect your emotional reactions and these effects how you behave. How you behave also affects the things you experience and hence your emotional reactions. *---->Experience----->Emotional reaction-------->behaviour---*

 

Look at this loop of events, and think about at which step you can break the cycle.[/quote']

 

I don't believe in the supernatural, and I don't believe there is a god. I go to church because my dad likes me too. He and I are the only family. No aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.

 

Your analogy is the only way it can work. You experience something which leads to an emotional reaction and that causes you to behave in a way that ties in with the emotion. But, it's the emotional reaction that is different with me than you. Its too hard to explain, but its not the product of the things I experience, I become the thing I experience. Thats what scares me big time. I'm finally glad I'm facing it once and for all.

 

I'll let you know what the Physco says.

 

Bettina

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He and I are the only family. No aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.

 

I think you mentioned that your mom and dad separated when you were very young. That, together with having no other female relatives to whom you can turn, may be intensifying your feelings.

 

I am an only child. My mother and dad didn't get along, but they stayed together "for my sake" (they never let me forget it, either). They were in their 40's when I was born, my mother was from England, and had a somewhat Victorian mentality (considering she was born in 1907). She was not outwardly affectionate. I didn't have aunts, uncles, or cousins around either.

 

I remember being very sad when I was your age and saw other families going on outings together. I remember some of the neighbor families used to include me in some of their activities, their parents were on average 20 years younger than my folks, and would participate in softball games or go rollerskating with their kids. It really, really hurt me that I did not have a family like theirs.

 

Therefore, when I read about your situation, I feel as though I can empathize with you. However, since I became a widow, I have learned not to say, "I know just how you feel." - because I can not. I suspect, however, that I know better how you feel than some people do.

 

Your councilor will be able to help you far more than I, but perhaps it would be good to ask yourself if this empathy you feel towards others is a little because you don't want to "feel sorry for yourself." All you hear people say are trite things like, "when life hands you lemons, make lemonade", but they haven't a clue.

 

Sorry if I have gotten too personal. If you want to talk more about this, PM me.

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Is there any scientific evidence related to this phenomenon?

 

Or does one become an "empath" simply because he/she thinks that they are "deep and emotional". How would one know they can "feel someone on a different level"? (a level which may be greater than a "normal" person)

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Wow, only a few days and you already have so many responses! But to answer your question, yes I do get ill. Actually for a very long time I tried to isolate myself from others so I couldnt pick up on them as well. Its kind of ironic isnt it, you can say that you understand how someone feels, but they never really know that you DO know how they feel. It can be a very dangerous thing to live with, for instance, my friend *no name given* was on the outside a popular guy who had lots of friends, but was extreamly depressed. Unfortunatly when I tried warning people that he would try hurting himself (and i knew this because every time I talked to him I was filled with a deep sense of self loathing) they didnt listen to me. He finally attempted suicide in one of the school bathrooms by slitting both of hit wrists. The teachers wouldnt tell us what was going on (they had the entire school on lockdown), but as I'm sure you can relate, I just "knew".

 

I visited him in the hospital later ONLY because I knew he needed someone ther for him. Otherwise I try as hard as I can to stay away from hospitals and vet offices and the such because of what I am afraid it will do to me. Heres a hint: I had to leave after a while, and I passed out in my car in the parking lot.

 

My friend Angie is also an empath, although she doest feel exactly what others feel, she too "knows" when someone is down and she gets terrible headaches.

 

Anyway, I hope that I can be someone that you can relate to, and good luck finding more people like us. :)

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Is there any scientific evidence related to this phenomenon?

 

Or does one become an "empath" simply because he/she thinks that they are "deep and emotional". How would one know they can "feel someone on a different level"? (a level which may be greater than a "normal" person)

 

To a large extent, I think this is just a label people give themselves when they try to convey the intensity of their experiences but cannot. They would know they were "different" when others could not relate to their experiences or dismissed them or even made fun of them.

 

Because this is a science forum, with people who are looking for "proof" and have a generally high level of logical or critical thinking skills, such confessions of connecting so radically to others outside normal experience is naturally going to be met with some skepticism.

 

However, I do not dismiss that people have such abilities. A friend once saved my life by means I can't explain. She knew I was in serious medical distress even though I had not communicated with her at all. Indeed, I was very much in denial about the seriousness of my symptoms. I was working and not answering my phone. Even though she knew I often unplugged the phone and that I absolutely hated univited visits, she came by on the strength of her "feelings" and insisted on taking me to the hospital. I am probably alive today due to her peculiar intervention.

 

I have known several people with such gifts. Often they become very muddled and a bit too impressed with their "abilities." They begin to predict willy nilly on the strength of past successes. These impressionable people were almost never happy. Most of them have been seriously depressed at sometime in their lives. It is as if they lack a proper filtering system for things. Most of us compartmentalize and many of us learn to ignore our hunches. The "empaths" (I do think that's a silly word. :rolleyes: ) do not do this.

 

Frankly, I think it must be a hellish way to live. Do I believe there is something "extrasensory?" Not really. I believe there are experiences not yet explained and not yet explainable. I try to be open and I do question. Isn't that the truer scientific attitude?

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Is there any scientific evidence related to this phenomenon?

 

Or does one become an "empath" simply because he/she thinks that they are "deep and emotional". How would one know they can "feel someone on a different level"? (a level which may be greater than a "normal" person)

 

"Empath" is just a self made word to describe an empathic person or a person with a more than normal degree of empathy. I know that. Just like the word "DOH" that Homer Simpson says when he's done something not quite right. He could have said "Uh oh".

We don't need to interpret words. Just take the word Empath for its face value.

 

I don't know why I do this, but I can do it. Vividly. I just want it stopped. Thats why I'm going to a Doctor. It's scaring me now.

 

Bettina

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Because this is a science forum' date=' with people who are looking for "proof" and have a generally high level of logical or critical thinking skills, such confessions of connecting so radically to others outside normal experience is naturally going to be met with some skepticism.

[/quote']

 

I know, but everwhere else I go on the internet to look for help, I see quacks and people who have the answer if I send them money, and people who try to tie in physic powers with it. I came here because I have nowhere else to go. :-(

 

I am not one of those who are trying to impress anyone. All I want to do is turn this trait OFF and go live my life in the cosmology forum.

 

I'm frightened that someday its going to hurt me.

 

Bettina

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I know' date=' but everwhere else I go on the internet to look for help, I see quacks and people who have the answer if I send them money, and people who try to tie in physic powers with it. I came here because I have nowhere else to go. :-(

 

I am not one of those who are trying to impress anyone. All I want to do is turn this trait OFF and go live my life in the cosmology forum.

 

I'm frightened that someday its going to hurt me.

 

Bettina[/quote']

 

Don't be frightened. You are taking some positive steps. There is no reason to believe that you will not A. Get this thing under control or B. Come to terms with it.

 

Meanwhile, if you want to do something that will help the psychologist help you, why don't you begin to chart your moods and keep a record of these incidents (when they occur, what triggers them) so that she can have some initial information to go on.

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I think you mentioned that your mom and dad separated when you were very young. That' date=' together with having no other female relatives to whom you can turn, may be intensifying your feelings.

 

I am an only child. My mother and dad didn't get along, but they stayed together "for my sake" (they never let me forget it, either). They were in their 40's when I was born, my mother was from England, and had a somewhat Victorian mentality (considering she was born in 1907). She was not outwardly affectionate. I didn't have aunts, uncles, or cousins around either.

 

I remember being very sad when I was your age and saw other families going on outings together. I remember some of the neighbor families used to include me in some of their activities, their parents were on average 20 years younger than my folks, and would participate in softball games or go rollerskating with their kids. It really, really hurt me that I did not have a family like theirs.

 

Therefore, when I read about your situation, I feel as though I can empathize with you. However, since I became a widow, I have learned not to say, "I know just how you feel." - because I can not. I suspect, however, that I know better how you feel than some people do.

 

Your councilor will be able to help you far more than I, but perhaps it would be good to ask yourself if this empathy you feel towards others is a little because you don't want to "feel sorry for yourself." All you hear people say are trite things like, "when life hands you lemons, make lemonade", but they haven't a clue.

 

Sorry if I have gotten too personal. If you want to talk more about this, PM me.[/quote']

 

Having old parents sucks, I know, I empathise with u coquina. My dad was 48 when he had me and my mom was 34, its too old, Dad was such a soft hippy he wouldn't even by me rugby boots so I could play..... ohwell atleast he taught me about science..... its real hard when ur a teenager with old parents, because they are so out of touch.

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I have known several people with such gifts. Often they become very muddled and a bit too impressed with their "abilities." They begin to predict willy nilly on the strength of past successes. These impressionable people were almost never happy. Most of them have been seriously depressed at sometime in their lives. It is as if they lack a proper filtering system for things. Most of us compartmentalize and many of us learn to ignore our hunches. The "empaths" (I do think that's a silly word. :rolleyes: ) do not do this.

 

Frankly' date=' I think it must be a hellish way to live. Do I believe there is something "extrasensory?" Not really. I believe there are experiences not yet explained and not yet explainable. I try to be open and I do question. Isn't that the truer scientific attitude?[/quote']

 

I actually self-taught myself a 'filtering system' to cope with my depression, I think it was the natural progression from moody teenager to adult though. However because my "filtering system" was consciously 'installed' I can understand the processes which are happening there, although empathy is still repressed, I am able to pick up on it and use it. This is where my gift and Bettinas curse are separated.

 

Bettina all the advice I can offer you is: Learn to realise that your thoughts are your own, and your reality is how you interpret them. If you let your thoughts out of control, your control on reality is limited. If you really want to have a happy reality you need to realise that others thoughts and emotions are seperate from your own. You also need then to realise that your emotions are separate from your thoughts. If you can do this your emotions will have lesser control on her thoughts, and then have more control of your reality.

 

Theres no such thing as ESP!!!!!! The only possible mode of perception is through the senses, sure if you could show humans have another sense, then perhaps we could sense 'extra' things....... everything discussed in this topic however can be explained by normal sensory perception.

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Meanwhile, if you want to do something that will help the psychologist help you, why don't you begin to chart your moods and keep a record of these incidents (when they occur, what triggers them) so that she can have some initial information to go on.

 

I have been trying to determine when, what, and why, for a long time, and have been keeping notes that I will give to the doctor.

 

I'm not a moody person even when I have my [.] :) and although I'm the quiet type, I have a great time wherever I go and whoever I'm with. I like school, my home life, my dog, and the mall.

 

Though my dad is 65 to my 17, he thinks young. We jog and bike together, and like to watch the same sci-fi shows. He is tuned to my type of thinking and so my home life is fine. I feel good almost all the time.

 

Since I'm fine with all the above, the only thing left is me. But, I know what I see and feel are real. Or rather....what my brain is telling me are real. If I hear a bird chirping outside my bedroom window, my brain tells me its a bird outside my bedroom window. I don't need to see it to verify what my brain is telling me. My brain will interpret it correctly.

 

The information that I sometimes receive from someone that triggers an "event" is just as clear. It becomes that real and I can't explain it. Its hard not to be scared of it, because I keep thinking I'm going to end up in a mental ward. :-( I was hoping that a psychiatrist might be visiting this site and tell me what is wrong with me. Otherwise, I wait till Tuesday.

 

Bettina

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Since I'm fine with all the above' date=' the only thing left is me. But, I know what I see and feel are real. Or rather....what my brain is telling me are real. If I hear a bird chirping outside my bedroom window, my brain tells me its a bird outside my bedroom window. I don't need to see it to verify what my brain is telling me. My brain will interpret it correctly.

 

The information that I sometimes receive from someone that triggers an "event" is just as clear. It becomes that real and I can't explain it. Its hard not to be scared of it, because I keep thinking I'm going to end up in a mental ward. :-( I was hoping that a psychiatrist might be visiting this site and tell me what is wrong with me. Otherwise, I wait till Tuesday.

 

Bettina[/quote']

 

Emotional stimuli can come from alot of sources, all the senses combine to give an overall "vibe" of the situation. What I think you need to do is, think about each emotion you experience due to a trigger seperately, ie categorise them. Once you have defined the emotion(s) that you are experiencing, you should then think about the physical stimuli that could be causing it, then categories those. If you can find the physical stimuli and indentify them directly, then you can consciously ignore that and keep your emotion in check. This should allow you to control your vibes.

 

Learning to consciously ignore physical stimuli is the hard part.

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Emotional stimuli can come from alot of sources' date=' all the senses combine to give an overall "vibe" of the situation. What I think you need to do is, think about each emotion you experience due to a trigger seperately, ie categorise them. Once you have defined the emotion(s) that you are experiencing, you should then think about the physical stimuli that could be causing it, then categories those. If you can find the physical stimuli and indentify them directly, then you can consciously ignore that and keep your emotion in check. This should allow you to control your vibes.

 

Learning to consciously ignore physical stimuli is the hard part.[/quote']

 

I know what some of the triggers are. The Jessica one was the worst one this year. My problem is the ignoring part. How do I stop it? How could I have stopped becoming her even when I knew I was going there. I became her to the point I was almost throwing up. Thats my problem. I want to turn it off.

 

Bettina

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Dear Bettina,

 

After having read through this thread, The best I can do is to make some observations about your condition, and perhaps we can figuree out some remedy. Hopefully, what I post will be of some use to you. I like your approach in reaching an understand it without the use of non-natural "psychic" or "ESP" explanations. One poster said it well,"there are no extra-sensory perceptions, just perceptions.

 

 

These simply lead you into more unknown territory and ultimately are not useful for remedial purposes. Of course what I write will probably come out sounding very scientific and perhaps too straightforward, but then you are on a science forum, so you know what types of creatures we are ? ;)

 

Let us consider the case of the young boy is afraid of dogs. Whenever our boy sees a dog, he has a response in which he becomes frightened, with all the mental, emotional and physical (and thus biochemical) changes. He may not know at the time why he is afraid of dogs, only that he is. What usually has happenned in these cases is that at some time in the past (maybe much younger, as an enfant) he had a bad encounter with a canine. Perhaps he only encountereed a little nip from a chiwawa (sp?-promounce phonetically) then had the memory of it. Every time therafter when he saw a dog, he became afraid, thus re-enforcing the response. This is what is called a conditioned response.

 

More generally, this was the subject of the well known "Pavlov's Dogs" experiments. The dogs exhibited a physical and chemical response (they salivated) in their bodies when they heard a bell, because they received food soon after the bell rang. This response was re-enforced by consistently dispensing food some short time after the bell rang.

 

In the case of our caninophobe young boy, he sensed the dog by obvious sensory clues (i.e. visual, auditory). Although every encounter with a dog is different for our boy, his physical reaction is consistent. The learned reaction is repeated, and re-enforced. Perhaps however, he has become more selective in his reaction. He no longer fears a dog he sees outside his window, as he knows the dog cannot get to him.(this "selectivity" thus varies by the situation)

 

A related and curious bit of information perhaps worth mentioning here is that there are in fact several specific chems of a certain class (PEAs) have a side effect that has been consistently reported as "empathetic feelings" (there are other sdie efefects as well). Some psychiatrists have studied and reported their use during psychotherapy sessions with enhanced results in many cases.

REmember, the reason these organic chemicals have these effects on the human body is that they molecularly resemble one or several natural biochemicals in the body.(a receptor model is used for reception, not important right now).

 

If you wish to think of it this way, you might ask yourself is if what you experience is indeed a conditioned response to the clues of sadness and pain in those around you.(Even in your Jessica encounter could have been a conditioned response produced by the news story). When you sense this sadness and misfortune you respond by becoming empathetic, like the boy who was physically frightened by the dogs. It also seems as if you have also become selective.

 

For our little boy, there are a few options ;

 

- Make the boy mor selective, until he is no longer afraid. Perhaps the boy is exposed to puppies for a time, then to progressively larger dogs.

 

- Mentally, physiologically or chemically the response is inhibited. Mentally, he focuses and he braves it up to a dog, and repeats this behavior. In the chemical ideal, our boy could takes a med that temporarily suppresses secretion of the cortical steriods epinephrine and/or nor-epinephrine.

 

- He could try to recall, and psychologically resolve the initial event that began the behavior.

 

 

If you believe that this applies to you, how might you apply these ideas or a combination of them. Are there any others that might inhibit the behavior ?

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Well, that works for phobias and OCD, but Bettina's problem is overactive empathy. Might I suggest a can of red bull or Mountain dew when you find yourself in an empathy episode? I find that I am less empathic when caffinated. Probably has to do with caffine inducing a mild fight or flight/adrenaline reaction.

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