Ok everyone probably already knows the rules but here they are:

 

Make a wish. ex: I wish i had a big bag of peanuts.

 

The next poster corrupts the wish: Granted but you now have a severe peanut allergy.

 

ok i will start.

 

I wish that none of my teachers would assign homework this school year.

they dont, but then they assighn uber-craploads of work to be done over the holidays, BWA HA HA!

 

I wish i had huge joint of roast pork (im hungry)

Granted, but it has trichinosis.

 

I wish people wouldn't make all sorts of trouble on SFN.

Granted, but now you cannot view these forums.

 

I wish I could fly.

granted, but you flew to close to the sun and your wings melted.

 

I wish I had a top notch 4 year education now. (just starting school)

granted' date=' but you flew to close to the sun and your wings melted.

 

I wish I had a top notch 4 year education now. (just starting school)[/quote']

 

Granted, but now you're 4 years older and its in the Humanities

 

I wish I could fall asleep before 5am.

Granted, you now fall asleep at 7 pm.

 

I wish I had psycic powers.

granted you now hear the thoughts of richard simmons and can't block it out.

 

I wish i had a pilots license

Granted, but your license is limited to an Ornithopter.

 

I wish everybody obeyed my command.

I wish everybody obeyed my command.

 

Everyone does, but in a manner consistent with this thread, giving you a constant headage.

 

I wish I was the God of The Badgers, worshiped by these devot and fanatical mammals.

Granted but the Badgers believe they must sacrifice their god.

 

I wish I had a billion dollars.

I wish I had a billion dollars.

*poof* Granted. Now you can afford the rent when you land on Boardwalk and Park Place, and all the other properties you don't own.

 

 

I wish my clients would learn how to communicte better.

Granted but they can only speak Belarusian.

 

I wish i could stop and restart time.

granted but you stop along with everyone else.

 

i wish i could move objects with my mind

i wish i could move objects with my mind

*poof* Granted. Start with your hands and feet. Go ahead.

 

 

I wish I could find a buried treasure chest in my garden.

I wish I could find a buried treasure chest in my garden.

 

You find the chest, but the treasure is thousands of angry scorpions, intent on killing anything that moves.

 

I wish I had a photographic memory.

granted. soon after you see your parents banging away in your room.

 

i wish i could walk through walls.

Granted, but you also fall through floors.

 

I wish someone loved me.

I wish someone loved me.

*poof* Granted.

Dinner at your place tonight? Make me something easy to chew. And plan on a late night.

 

 

I wish I had an extra four hours to myself every day.

I wish I had an extra four hours to myself every day.

Granted. The rotation of the earth drops dramatically by almost 200 mph, sending everything tumbling ferociously to the ground, so you can spend those 4 extra hours piecing together the crumbling debris that you used to call civilization.

 

 

 

I wish George Bush will be remembered by historians as the worst president we've ever had.

 

I wish George Bush will be remembered by historians as the worst president we've ever had.

 

Granted. But to be fair, he's the only one they'll know about after finding his name on some documents in the ruins of a pre-nuclear winter city.

 

...I wish I was Batman.

I wish George Bush will be remembered by historians as the worst president we've ever had.

*poof* Granted. But since so many people still think he's doing such a great job, it will take a scandal to get him thrown out. It is the evidence on your dress that gets him impeached.

 

 

I wish I knew which purchases would end up being worthless.

Sisyphus,

...I wish I was Batman.

Granted. You are Batman, an anthromorphic ashwood bat with the power to crack baseballs dramatically into stadium lights just before your team wins, unfortunately you cant enjoy the after-game party due to concussion.

 

 

Phi for All,

I wish I knew which purchases would end up being worthless.

Granted. You materialize in Mexico, where all the 0's on a peso note mean practically nothing, so you know with perfect cetainty which purchases are worthless because all of them are.

 

 

 

I wish I had someone beautiful to kiss right now.

I wish I had someone beautiful to kiss right now.

*poof* Granted. Hope you don't mind fleas.

 

 

I wish my truck would run on grass clippings instead of gasoline.

I wish my truck would run on grass clippings instead of gasoline.

 

Granted but it now has square wheels.

 

I wish people weren't so sensitive.