Cap'n Refsmmat

Don't bother creating a new account. It's against the forum rules, we can change your current name if you really want to, and I doubt you'll get much trouble out of it.

We don't want to get into legal trouble.

There is a sticky in this forum for questions like this. In case you didn't notice. Anyways, I don't think economics has all that much discussion going on here, so it really wouldn't be necessary. If you want, start a few discussions, and if people are interested in economics, then it may be done.

Sorry, you lose. According to a survey team in 1996, that's wrong. Mine: The windows on the Apollo lunar landing module were around 1/8 of an inch thick.

What, no more Gir stand-ups?

You're a father and you STILL can't use apostrophes properly?

No, because that doesn't fit with the other stories.

I hope you know that there is such a thing. (it does jettison the rotors first)

1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb? 2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code. 3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp! 4. Rottweiler: Make me. 5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark. 6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh?Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please! 7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation. 8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture. 9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb? 10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark. 11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. 12. Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there 13. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares? 14. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle .. 15. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry. The Cat's Answer: "Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?" ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF. What is a Cat? 1. Cats do what they want. 2. They rarely listen to you. 3. They're totally unpredictable. 4. When you want to play, they want to be alone. 5. When you want to be alone, they want to play. 6. They expect you to cater to their every whim. 7. They're moody. 8. They leave hair everywhere. CONCLUSION: They're tiny women in little fur coats. What is a Dog? 1. Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house. 2. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don't hear you when you're in the same room. 3. They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time. 4. They growl when they are not happy. 5. When you want to play, they want to play. 6. When you want to be alone, they want to play. 7. They leave their toys everywhere. 8. They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss. 9. They go right for your crotch as soon as they meet you. CONCLUSION: They're tiny men in little fur coats.

ROFLMAOOTDADTSAITPOAOT = Rolling on the floor laughing my *** off, out the door and down the street and into the pato of an oncoming truck.

TOILET OUT OF ORDER..... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW In a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT In a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN In an office: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD Outside a secondhand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN? Notice in health food shop window: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS Spotted in a safari park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR Seen during a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR Notice in a farmer's field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES. On a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

TRUE STORY: A police officer catches a guy speeding down a road in the middle of town. He walks up to the guys door and asks, "Sir, I clocked you at [insanely high number] miles per hour. Just why were you going this fast?" "I gotta go!" "No, sir, you need to explain to me what you were doing or I'll give you a ticket." "I GOTTA GO!" "What?" "I have diarrhea real bad, and, well, I GOTTA GO!" _____________ A police officer pulls a woman over for speeding, and asks her what she was doing. "I wath goingth homb fum te mentis an I ned pankiwer!" Of course, the officer can't tell what she's saying, until about ten minutes later he figures out that she came from the dentist and the painkiller had worn off, and she wanted to get home. Thinking it was a trick, he said, "Ma'am, I've heard that there was a bank robbery, and the description of the car fits this car perfectly. Can I take you in?" "HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF BEING A COMMON CRIMINAL! I would do no-- oops..."

Yes, I DID make that myself. (with a little help from my family)

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You just don't have his style. (R. Lee Ermy's)

oooooooooooooh bad one. I don't like political jokes of that nature. They spark debates.

I love digitally edited pictures.

What about Novocaine?

My mother LOVED that one!

Boy, nobody likes lawyers these days! Good thing, too.

*sigh* Government buerocracy...