Why I want to be a pilot by Anon, age 10

[menageriemanor]

I want to be a pilot because it’s a fun job and
easy to do. That’s why there are so many pilots flying around today.

Pilots don’t need much school. They just have to
learn numbers so they can read instruments. I guess they should also be able to
read road maps so they can find their way if they get lost. Pilots should be
brave so they won’t be scared if it’s foggy and they can’t see. If a wing or a
motor falls off, they should stay calm.

Pilots have to have good eyes to see through the
clouds and they can’t be afraid of lightening (sic) or thunder because
they’re closer to them than we are.

The salry (sic) pilots make is another
thing I like. They make more money than they can spend. This is because most
people think flying is dangerous except pilots don’t because they know how easy
it is.

There isn’t much I don’t like about being a pilot
except that girls like pilots. All the stewardesses want to marry them so pilots
have to chase them away. I hope I don’t get airsick because if I get airsick I
can’t be a pilot.

And then I’d have to go to work.

 

by Anon, age 10 (not Menageriemanor)

Edited February 16, 2013 by Phi for All
attribution emphasized

[ajb]

Pilots don’t need much school.

 

The pilots I know all have degrees in physics, this includes the one who went into the military. A good understanding of physics and mathematics is needed.

 

The usual qualifications needed to begin training as a pilot are a minimum of five GCSEs and two A-levels. A degree or postgraduate qualification is not required although some people may choose to take one to make them stand out in the tough competition. http://www.prospects.ac.uk/airline_pilot_entry_requirements.htm

 

 

Depending on the route, one needs to work hard in school until at least 18, and then a degree in physics or similar would be quite standard.

 

There isn’t much I don’t like about being a pilot

except that girls like pilots. All the stewardesses want to marry them so pilots

have to chase them away.

 

Yes, as a professional mathematician I have a similar problem

Edited February 16, 2013 by ajb

[Mr Monkeybat]

If your 10 just don't be too surprised if by the time your a fully qualified pilot, that all the pilots have been replaced by robots. Technically Its easier to program a robotic plane than it is to program a robotic car,

[Janus]

I want to be a pilot because it’s a fun job and

easy to do. That’s why there are so many pilots flying around today.

 

 

Pilots don’t need much school.

As you get older, you'll find that any job worth having is going to need school. To be a pilot you will have to know math, among other things. You will also have to learn quite a bit about the weather, as it has a big effect on how your plane flies.

 

As to the girls, I know that you don't think so now, but it is likely that you are going to change your mind about them in a few years.

[hypervalent_iodine]

I might be missing something, but the title of this thread leads me to believe that this post is not from the mind of menageriemanor. I think it was intended to be humorous.

Edit: looks like it comes from page 63 of this magazine, published in 1966 (left hand column, 1/3 of the way down): http://books.google.com.au/books?id=uEzRsPTqPb0C&printsec=frontcover#v=onepage&q&f=false

[michel123456]

I might be missing something, but the title of this thread leads me to believe that this post is not from the mind of menageriemanor. I think it was intended to be humorous.

 

Edit: looks like it comes from page 63 of this magazine, published in 1966 (left hand column, 1/3 of the way down): http://books.google.com.au/books?id=uEzRsPTqPb0C&printsec=frontcover#v=onepage&q&f=false

troubling

 

Anon for anonymous?

[Phi for All]

Anon for anonymous?

 

One of the Mous quadruplets, brother to Blasph E, Ven E and Magnan I.

[menageriemanor]

Sorry chaps, thought it was clear from title. By Anon (unknown author/anonymous), is absolutely understood and not explained and common in my circles. from Eng Lit, dog rescue, Commonwealth WW2 aircrew newsletters to science, etc. It must be one of those, 'notice only when you come across it' differences between English based language of Britain and Commonwealth, and American usage, like car boots and trunks. . and I am SO far from 10 yrs old.

 

It has been observed by Wodehousian wits, that this bird, (slang for person), Anon, must be a GENIUS, (and SO knowledgeable/creative in so many fields!).

 

Disturbing that almost all believed they were my personal aspirations and beliefs, but you WERE kindly in your destruction of my apparent dreams...

 

I found it offered up by an ex WW2 aircrewman, in his newsletter, in the 1990s or early 2000s, and I presumed it was from his grandson/gt grandson. He didn't identify himself, and was happy to leave it as anon, so I followed his lead.

 

This is fascinating. I'd heard that Americans just don't pick up some universal English/Colonial humour, but this is the first time I've felt the crater of difference yawn before me. This is the only place I've ever known this to be taken literally, and by Anon age 10 completely escape notice or not be immediately understood. Guess this means I have to avoid humour. If it has to be explained, it's dead.

 

Mr Monketbat, you might enjoy this English/Colonial explanation of future air crew in automated planes.

 

"The crew will consist of the pilot and a dog. The plot's job will be to feed the dog. The dog's job will be to bite the pilot, if he attempts to touch the controls..." Please, no one take THIS statement literally and educate me, this is understood as wit in the colonies and Britain. Often found in Qi tv shows, etc

 

I might also add that if I DID actually have those pilot aspirations, I don't think I'd presume every lesbian pilot chaser would be after me... (because I'm modest AND realistic), and I don't know that they are much of a problem, at airports. Better be clear here, as I now am paranoid about off hand comments being taken literally, I'M not lesbian, tho wouldn't care if I was, but if I was chased by stewardesses wanting marriage, THEY would be presuming I was.

Edited February 16, 2013 by menageriemanor

[ajb]

I might be missing something, but the title of this thread leads me to believe that this post is not from the mind of menageriemanor. I think it was intended to be humorous.

Yes, and it is quite funny.

[michel123456]

Sorry chaps, thought it was clear from title. By Anon (unknown author/anonymous), is absolutely understood and not explained and common in my circles. from Eng Lit, dog rescue, Commonwealth WW2 aircrew newsletters to science, etc. It must be one of those, 'notice only when you come across it' differences between English based language of Britain and Commonwealth, and American usage, like car boots and trunks. . and I am SO far from 10 yrs old.

 

It has been observed by Wodehousian wits, that this bird, (slang for person), Anon, must be a GENIUS, (and SO knowledgeable/creative in so many fields!).

 

Disturbing that almost all believed they were my personal aspirations and beliefs, but you WERE kindly in your destruction of my apparent dreams...

 

I found it offered up by an ex WW2 aircrewman, in his newsletter, in the 1990s or early 2000s, and I presumed it was from his grandson/gt grandson. He didn't identify himself, and was happy to leave it as anon, so I followed his lead.

 

This is fascinating. I'd heard that Americans just don't pick up some universal English/Colonial humour, but this is the first time I've felt the crater of difference yawn before me. This is the only place I've ever known this to be taken literally, and by Anon age 10 completely escape notice or not be immediately understood. Guess this means I have to avoid humour. If it has to be explained, it's dead.

 

Mr Monketbat, you might enjoy this English/Colonial explanation of future air crew in automated planes.

 

"The crew will consist of the pilot and a dog. The plot's job will be to feed the dog. The dog's job will be to bite the pilot, if he attempts to touch the controls..." Please, no one take THIS statement literally and educate me, this is understood as wit in the colonies and Britain. Often found in Qi tv shows, etc

 

I might also add that if I DID actually have those pilot aspirations, I don't think I'd presume every lesbian pilot chaser would be after me... (because I'm modest AND realistic), and I don't know that they are much of a problem, at airports. Better be clear here, as I now am paranoid about off hand comments being taken literally, I'M not lesbian, tho wouldn't care if I was, but if I was chased by stewardesses wanting marriage, THEY would be presuming I was.

The internet is international. You must be indulgent for people from around the planet that are not from the U.S. or the Commonwealth.

 

found this http://viking.twolaneroads.com/you-want-to-be-what/ about the origin.

 

PS i didn't found this funny but that's probably me. I found it awkward.

 

----------------

And i cannot find any Jefferson Grade School especially not in Beaufort.

An urban myth.

[menageriemanor]

As I said, I am now aware that here, I must make sure to warn people of humour approaching. Or avoid it. I thought it would make any pilots on here, laugh, as my military mates in Britain who fly and the noobs they are training, thought it a hoot and so did their wives. So the joke lives on another decade, in another generation...

 

Most find the innocent presumptions of a child, amusing. I've heard very similar sentiments from children with vets, doctors, etc as parents or uncles. They just see it done, seemingly effortlessly, by their clown of an uncle/father, and presume. There is also the realisation that this child has also heard about the popularity of pilots with women/stewardesses from adult conversations and is not happy, Again, with the likelihood of his future views, many get a wry grin.

 

I would say that it was written or said by a child, at some point, and an adult has written it up, possibly invented a name and school to protect the child's identity, and to give it a credible reason for existing. If you know about professionally written humour, you'll know that most stories stand ups tell don't really happen. They claim the experience to give it a reason to come up, to add to the believability. Often those stories are written by a professional writer. Detailed attribution of jokes is a laugh killer.

 

I am well aware that this is an American forum NOW and earlier, tho wasn't when I joined, but I'm on internatonal forums, mostly British based, but also Colonial on many subjects, with international members, and this is the only time this has had to be explained as humour, to anyone with English as a first language. Similarly, BY ANON AGE 10. ie not by the poster. As I said, I'd heard for a long time, of a large crater of Brit/Colonial humour just pancaking in America. This is just the first time I have experienced it.

 

What has given me a rather joyful follow up laugh, is thanks to the research on this, I know this child would be well over 50. I'm wondering if he did end up flying, AND WHETHER A STEWARDESS CAUGHT HIM... The other irony is that it was apparently first written up by Americans, who clearly appreciated the humour. Since 62 is the year now first identified, maybe the person who initially thought it funny had spent a couple of years with Brits/Colonials, in WW2, and had caught on to irony, etc?

[hypervalent_iodine]

Who said this was an American forum? There are probably as many Americans as non-Americans that post here. I think people just missed the 'anon' in the title and given the way the OP was written (i.e. you didn't indicate in the post that it was quoted from elsewhere), it's easy to see why people might assume that it was coming from you.

 

Anyway, I found amusing.