ted_marx Posted November 13, 2004 Share Posted November 13, 2004 All, please let me know if the following will make me look like an idiot. I have a cynical, comical group of contacts and I try to keep up. Soon we expect our third son and I'm thinking of sending this sarcastic announcement. Your honest feedback on whether it's funny will be appreciated: >> Pleased to report that Cameron James arrived xxx and weighed in at xxx. He’s in fine shape as is his Mom, who’s been a true star throughout the entire 65 months of this pregnancy. In fact, everyone’s just plain dandy -- even me. No, the stress of now being responsible for the livelihood of three kids in a troubled world hasn’t driven Dad over the edge. In fact, once the ceiling stops barking at me, I’ll gather up the onions and bug spray and take a refreshing snooze down in the bomb shelter. Seriously, everything’s fine, though Cameron already favors his mother. Must be he’s tainted by the sadistic rants she shouted about me at the peak of the transaction. I couldn’t decipher much of it except for a gory tale about a farmer, his razor knife and a piglet named “Mister Theodore”. Thankfully, that one had nothing to do with me. Older tots Jake and Michael are simply overjoyed with their new baby brother. They have no clue how this bundle of joy will alter the tenuous state of equilibrium in our household, and maybe it’s better that way. After all, ignorance is a fine thing, which is why my fellow brain-damaged brethren and I stumble through life wearing a dazed smile. Just keep feeding us chocolate and we’ll be fine. Peace to y’all, Tedl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gene Posted November 13, 2004 Share Posted November 13, 2004 funny, i should say. Like this the best, "Seriously, everything’s fine, though Cameron already favors his mother. Must be he’s tainted by the sadistic rants she shouted about me at the peak of the transaction." haha.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tesseract Posted November 13, 2004 Share Posted November 13, 2004 i vote stupid, but then again thats what I always vote. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gene Posted November 13, 2004 Share Posted November 13, 2004 Maybe you can just be yourself. Being yourself is the best way to be comical. Don't forged, or it would all seem too "Made-up". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phi for All Posted November 13, 2004 Share Posted November 13, 2004 Funny. Funny wierd, and funny ha-ha. Always a nice combo. Pre-congrats on son CJ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ted_marx Posted November 13, 2004 Author Share Posted November 13, 2004 All, thanks. Do you like this version better? (Changing the names around to keep people guessing) >> Yo there. Cameron Jackson Bailey here. Finally popped out last night at xxx and my fighting weight is xx.xx, naked and dry. Say anything about my name being Southern and I’ll kick your ass. Mom’s fine and Dad’s coming out of his coma. He took a turn for the worse at the height of my move when Mom screamed out the story about a piglet, a farmer and a razor knife. Guess that means I’ll always be the youngest. Hooray. He did manage to keep it together, sort of, long enough to cut the cord but even that posed a challenge. Was about ready to snip my, um, “Jackson” until I whizzed in his face to show him what was what. I know Mom’s wondering why I hung out for 65 months, but all I can say is “Look around.” How anxious would YOU be to enter this cold, cruel world? I still have to talk to her about that Green Day concert she let Dad drag her to. Did she think all those flip-flops I was doing during that was me dancing to that crap or something? The nerve of the woman. Older brothers Michael and Ralph seem overjoyed with me. Oh, if they had any clue what I have planned for them. All right, gotta go, they want to take my picture again. Maybe I’ll smile this time. Peace out. Cameron PS: Don’t ever call me “CJ” or you’ll be wondering what hit you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tesseract Posted November 13, 2004 Share Posted November 13, 2004 Much better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest rushk144 Posted November 13, 2004 Share Posted November 13, 2004 funny, definitly funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ike Posted November 13, 2004 Share Posted November 13, 2004 Ted_Marx, nothing stupid about your posts. It's Nature ensuring the survival of our species. I myself have never been married(LOTS of shackups though !), however despite the many funerals I have been to this year(2004), I'm convinced that mankind will ultimately survive until our Sun goes Nova. This past year I became a great-uncle for the 3rd time and I'm delighted ! I took an interest in the nephews and nieces when they were very young. I even took my nephews to the gun range. He's now 3 inches taller than me(I'm 6'1") and wants to be a cop ! Good for him ! Congratulations on extending your family ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
albymangles Posted November 14, 2004 Share Posted November 14, 2004 The first one was better, i like the combo of sincerity and cynical humour, the second seemed flippant. Congrats on new son! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gene Posted November 14, 2004 Share Posted November 14, 2004 i think it is awesome! forgot the congratulate you on the new-born. best wishes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ted_marx Posted November 14, 2004 Author Share Posted November 14, 2004 All, thanks for the comments and the wishes on the baby boy. Should be sometime this week. Cheers, Ted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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