and then i realized that we have used the "and then i woke up" line far too many times and that i really was in prison and started looking for a way out.

Then I met a magical IT Professional in the prison.

He showed me an uncrashable version of windows. then ran away and turned it into a sausage.

I found a computer has a sausage input device next to the CD-ROM drive, so I was about to install the new version of Windows, but the computer wouldn't even boot because it already had Linux installed.

so i learned how a computer works and pushed the button on the front to turn it on, it worked fine because linux is one of the more stable operating systems out there.

Then I saw the Linux penguin and Bill Gates jump out of the computer, then they began to fight.

Of course the bird slaughtered the nerd, ripping his head from his shoulders

then bill gates rebooted (his solution to everything), transformed into mecha bill gates and proceded to blast the big ugly penguin with lightning from his eyes.

but then suddenly i realised I had discovered a new species, the nerd bird! As i observed i noticed it had a geek beak...and it was using it to threaten me!!!

But I was still in prison, so none of this really had any effect on me. Man, was I hungry - if only there were some cheeseburgers!

The prison guard came along with lunch. A cheeseburger and fries. Looking cautiously around, he handed me a small tool...

This tool looked like a regular fork, but on closer inspection

... it was a spork and I ...

Realized that the end of the spork contained a laser capable of cutting through metal bars. Hence I..

Hence I began to slowly cut through the bars that restrained me, finally cutting through I broke free. Running around the prison grounds I looked for an exit...

When Bill Gates again woke up and

started chasing me. However,

he tripped over a small, malicious penguin, which began to peck him to death.

and thats when the koalas came....they are evil - the route of all evil and they started to eat everyone in site but

they were pretty small, so it was easy to kick them off. As I kept walking through the jail corridors, I found a giant lava lamp, which

imbued me with dancing visions of sugar-plums, or rather, as I was soon to discover...

Bill Gates ran system restore on himself, and used his powers to smash the lava lamp into little cheeseburgers, and then we were peacefully eating lunch together until...

he choked on a cheeseburger bone and died forever.

Luckily he made a backup copy of his complete genetic make up, and when he died his copy was created and his memory was uploaded, but there was one problem.....

that he forgot what 'forever' meant, so he blinked out of existence (forever!) for creating a syntactic paradox.