Wildcat Willy and Cactus Jack McGee...
A young man walks into a bar and sits on the stool, he calls the bartender over and says...
"Give me a shot of your best whiskey, I'm a gun fighter, the fastest gun in the west!
The Bartender sits a shot of whiskey in front of him and says...
I've never heard of Wild Cat Willy, are you as good as Cactus Jack McGee?
Wild Cat Willy laughs loudly and says...
"Cactus Jack! Hell he is old, he is a has been I could out shoot him any day and twice on Sunday"
The Bartender smiles and says...
"See that gentleman sitting at the end of the bar drinking a beer? He is Cactus Jack and I think he heard what you just said"
Wild Cat Willy gets a panicked look and immediately slides down the bar to where Cactus Jack is sitting and says...
"Mr McGee, you are my hero, you inspired me to become a gun fighter I know everything you have ever done!"
Cactus Jack looks at him a moment and says,"let me see your guns son"
Willy pulls out his pearl handled revolvers to show Cactus Jack and Cactus jack says...
"Good looking guns there boy, but can you hit anything with them?"
"You bet" says Willy and he draws his right hand gun and proceeds to shoot the right hand cuff link off the piano player in one shot....
Cactus jack says, "Impressive son but can you shoot with your left hand??
"Of course" says Willy and he pulls his left pistol and shoots the other cuff link off the piano player...
"Very Impressive" says Jack...
Willy asks, "Mr McGee, being the great gun fighter you are can you give me any advice that would be helpful?"
"Sure" replies Cactus Jack, "The first thing you need to do is go back to the Kitchen and ask the chief for a hand full of lard..."
Lard? asks willy, "how can lard help me?"
"Well" says Jack, "you want to take that lard and cover your guns with it, make sure you cover them real good with that lard..."
Willy looks puzzled, "Mr McGee, that will make my guns so slippery I wouldn't be able to hold onto them, in a gun fight I might drop them and not be able to defend myself!"
"Yes" replies Jack, "but when Wyatt Earp gets finished playing the piano you are gonna want them guns to be well lubricated...."