Would you rather be a small fish in a big pond or a big fish in a small pond?

[james_pain]

 

Anyone have any experiences they would like to share?

 

I went to a really under-performing highschool which increased my confidence and motivation but going to university demotivated me due to the higher performing cohort and greater expectations.

 

If you had to choose which pond to go into, which would you go into and what is your reasoning?

[Sensei]

Would you rather be a small fish in a big pond or a big fish in a small pond?

I would rather like to make aquarium for either big fishes and small fishes and watch them... Already done

Edited August 25, 2016 by Sensei

[zapatos]

Opportunities often arise and are typically offered to the top performers. Being the big fish can expand your learning opportunities and make for a better CV. Therefore I generally prefer to be the big fish. On the other hand I cannot think of any situation that would cause me to choose a community college over Harvard.

[sethoflagos]

Perhaps you need to experience both to mature well.

 

The small pond to learn how to take full responsibility for your actions; the big pond to learn humility and an appreciation of diversity. The skills you learn in one environment help you to function successfully in the other.

 

If forced to choose at my stage of life (which makes a difference), the big pond probably offers more opportunities for the experienced.

[Sensei]

On the other hand I cannot think of any situation that would cause me to choose a community college over Harvard.

Don't you like challenges?

Going from homeless/immigrant with "$10 in the pocket" to billionaire is harder than going from child of millionaire to billionaire..

(If wealthy is "aim" for somebody. That reminds me son of Buffett who sold Berkshire Hathaway stocks to become musician..)

Going from "nobody known school" to f.e. Nobel prize, is more impressive achievement than receiving Nobel prize after Harvard...

[dimreepr]

When do fish decide the size of the pond?

[Sensei]

When do fish decide the size of the pond?

Actually not once, not twice, animals adopted their size to smaller island size by downgrading their size..

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Insular_dwarfism

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foster%27s_rule

Edited August 25, 2016 by Sensei

[dimreepr]

That's the pond deciding the size of the fish...

[zapatos]

When do fish decide the size of the pond?

All the time. My older son chose to work at a small company right out of college so that he would have the opportunity to learn a greater skill set. He got that one exactly right.

 

My younger son who was intellectually well above average chose not to attend the private high school with very high entrance requirements, but instead chose a high school whose motto was that you would fit in regardless of your abilities. This son got opportunities because he was only competing with a handful of peers rather than an entire class of peers.

[dimreepr]

Good point, but it rather depends on the other fish not the pond.

In answer to the OP, I'd rather be a contented fish whatever the pond.

[zapatos]

Good point, but it rather depends on the other fish not the pond.

Yes, that's why he chose not to attend the school where everyone was a big fish.

[dimreepr]

Even pocket aces don't guarantee a winning hand.

Edited August 25, 2016 by dimreepr

[zapatos]

I didn't say it did. I was talking about opportunities.

[dimreepr]

And what size pond do they come from?

Edited August 25, 2016 by dimreepr

[zapatos]

It's just an analogy.

[dimreepr]

indeed

[zapatos]

Why do I get the impression you are trying to provoke me? Did I do something to annoy you? Did you really want me to answer the question "And what size pond do they come from?"

[dimreepr]

I'm sorry, that was never my intention; this, "In answer to the OP, I'd rather be a contented fish whatever the pond.", was my point.

Edited August 25, 2016 by dimreepr

[zapatos]

Sorry, I should know better than to look beyond the words typed. All my fault.

[james_pain]

I'm sorry, that was never my intention; this, "In answer to the OP, I'd rather be a contented fish whatever the pond.", was my point.

haha alright. but is this even possible though?

 

my personal experience is that people can't control who they compare themselves to.

those who are around less fortunate people always seem to be happier (e.g. if you are average-looking then hanging out with ugly people makes you feel more content with how you look)

 

incidentally, this sorta explains why suicide rates are the way they are:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_suicide_rate

 

sure, it's nice to have the idea that we could be content with whatever pond we are in and our relative size in the pond compared to others but in many situations, including the academic context/environment, people have no control and this happens almost subconsciously.

 

Do you guys think it's wrong to intentionally place yourself in a pond that is smaller with more little fish to increase general contentment and happiness?

[zapatos]

 

 

Do you guys think it's wrong to intentionally place yourself in a pond that is smaller with more little fish to increase general contentment and happiness?

 

I can't imagine why it would be wrong to take actions that you believe would lead to general contentment and happiness. Isn't that what we all strive to do for the most part?

 

As I stated, my kids used that strategy (with my concurrence) and it worked well for them.

[Ophiolite]

No one has proposed being the big fish in the big pond. If one is concerned about size that would be obvious choice. They say size does matter, but that's just small minded thinking by individuals who are too big for their breeches.

[mathfreak1]

Small fish with sharp teeth.