Horoscopes we'd actually bother to read if they made them science-friendly. I'll start, don't worry about repeating any of the signs.

 

 

 

TAURUS - Uncertainty occurs during your morning commute as your stubborn nature forces you to check how fast you're going. You spend the next two days with absolutely no idea where you are.

 

 

GEMINI - There's travel in your future when you discover that your "potassium-on-a-rope" invention fails in the shower. The chemistry looks good between you and an attractive skin donor.

 

 

CANCER - You get a little culture today when your colleagues surprise you at lunch with a Bacillus anthracis sandwich. Wrap up any loose ends in your severely shortened financial future.

Nice.

 

 

I look forward to seeing mine

SAGITTARIUS — You will be unable to simultaneously determine the position and momentum of any objects today, nor place two fermions in the same quantum state. Not a good time to start a new relationship.

Nice.

 

 

I look forward to seeing mine

I'm sure I'll get to it someday. Or maybe swansont or some other wit will take over for me while I'm lying on the beach tomorrow (wink-wink, nudge-nudge, say no more).

SAGITTARIUS — You will be unable to simultaneously determine the position and momentum of any objects today, nor place two fermions in the same quantum state. Not a good time to start a new relationship.

Way to screw up the order, swansont!

 

Leo (me) would come next in Phi's order.

Way to screw up the order, swansont!

 

Leo (me) would come next in Phi's order.

 

I am just a vessel through which the heavens speak.

 

 

LEO — You will become agitated for no reason at all. All around you, elementary particles will pop into existence and then wink out, but you will remain calm and blissfully unaware of them. Avoid important financial decisions.

 

VIRGO — Weigh your choices carefully: your decision to flap your arms or not will affect the weather far away. Breaking that high-level encryption will be easier once you finish that quantum computer you've been working on.

 

LIBRA — Remember to increase entropy when converting thermal energy to mechanical work. You should also strive to conserve energy, because it's the right thing to do. Shopping will be a good diversion, and besides, it will stimulate the economy.

I look forward to seeing mine

Btw, I got that, Leap Boy.

 

I am just a vessel through which the heavens speak.

Oh man, you guys are in great hands.

 

 

 

And how spooky is it that swansont posted his Sagittarius at the exact moment I posted hoping he would? It's like he's a physicist psychotic psychiatrist sidekick mind reader or something!

SCORPIO — You are a cold-blooded mass-murderer and "Dirty" Harry Callahan will make sure you get what's coming to you. The number "five" figures prominently in your day.

 

SAGITTARIUS — You will experience feelings of deja-vu.

 

CAPRICORN — You will continue to be affected by the same physics, unchanged, no matter which inertial reference frame you find yourself in. Focus on details at work. It will be important.

LIBRA — Remember to increase entropy when converting thermal energy to mechanical work. You should also strive to conserve energy, because it's the right thing to do. Shopping will be a good diversion, and besides, it will stimulate the economy.

 

Wow, that describes my day exactly. I even did the shopping part...I bought some random steel and some pulleys that might become something one day, and some beer to help me decide what they might become.