Gilded

Welcome... to the world of tomorrow!

Rene Descartes walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Would you like a beer?" Descartes says, "I think not," and vanishes in a puff of logic.

Q3 is awesome. Do you play Rocket Arena, or some trickjumping mod like Defrag? Welcome anyways.

I believe it's the 11-fold hyperbase. (The Zon Hyperbass is a cool instrument btw.) Anyway, welcome people.

It's certainly hard to top that, but how about something small-scale with radioluminescence?

Welcome! May you spread mayhem everywhere you go for many years to come. Always nice to see someone with electonics knowledge here who's actually trying to come up with something cool instead of antigravity technology or water-powered cars.

Why hasn't Phi for All made any ice cubes recently? He lost the recipe. Man I've missed this thread.

Another substance which is relatively harmless to humans but can kill dogs is xylitol (a sugar used in some chewing gums, mints, etc.).

*nerve pinches Phi for All*

ROFL. I was waiting for new posts (as I have no life) and saw a new one in GD, more specifically by Phi for All and thought "Hey, I wonder if he's made fun of me again" and whoah, I must be a psychic. Or an easy target. Gilded was walking down the road when he noticed Phi for All whose head had gotten very small for some reason. Gilded walked up to Phi and asked "Hey, what has happened to your head?" Phi explained, "One day I was fishing on the pier when I got a huge bite... And, I said to myself, 'I've caught a whale!' But, when I reeled it up, to my surprise, it was a gorgeous mermaid! Well, she looked at me in tremendous fright and said she'd grant me one wish if I let her free..." "And?" Gilded asked. "Well, after some quick thought, I looked at her and said, 'How 'bout a little head?'"

The problem is that you don't own enough. If you did, people would create accounts on SFN just to tell you that you really r0x0red at <insert game here> the previous night. Anyways, welcome to all new members!

So, a busy night at SFN again. Or morning if you live in the deep chasms of the Pacific Ocean, I heard Mokele sometimes takes a nap there after destroying a coastal city or two. So anyhow, I see Phi for All is around again, pretty much to the annoyance of many. But man, what a party he had last Friday! I mean, it was a blast and I didn't even have to bring my explosives. There was this fun occasion where I was standing on the porch when I heard the phone ringing. I answered and heard "Hi, it's your beloved wife." She asked me if she should buy some new gold jewelry. I said it was OK, and told her that she'd better make it at least $50 000 worth. She was a bit surprised and then asked if she could have the permission to move to Mexico with her secret lover. I laughed and told her that, sure, it's fine and that she should go and have the time of her life. Later I walked up to Phi and told him his new cell phone is very nice and all but he shouldn't leave it on the porch like that in the future.

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? - Chickens hadn't evolved yet. * Why did Mokele cross the road? - He went after the dinosaur.

Aye Skye, got to say that some merging could be useful.

<Rather tasteless joke of the morning, before I go to my physics exam preparation class or whatever you call it> Phi for All has a company, and two employees called Sarah and Jack. Unfortunately, the company isn't doing too well and he has to fire one of them, although both are very good at their work. He decides to watch them work for a while and then chooses the one he fires. So one day, Sarah is in his office and suddenly gets a headache. He takes an aspirin and heads for the vending machine to get something to drink. Phi for All walks up to her and says "Sarah, I'm going to have to lay you or Jack off." Sarah replies "Could you jack off? I have a terrible headache!"

Yeah, stickiness is great in all its glorious forms (and sorry for my absence, bloody high school... but now I got a week of skiing/winter holiday, or in other words computer holiday, yay!). And here's a joke for ya: Phi for All had been suffering of nightmares for weeks. His psychiatrist asks him about his dreams: Psych.: So, in your dream you're being chased by something? Phi: Yeah! My wife and a crocodile. Oh boy, sharp fangs and those blazing eyes, pure evil I say! Psych.: Wow, that sounds pretty scary! Phi: Yeah, and just wait till I describe the crocodile!

"I play the accordion..." Call 0800-IPLAYTHEACCORDION for crisis help. ----- Now that it's almost New Year's Eve and the world needs to be happy even duringn sad times, here's some jokes: --- When can you tell that a Finnish man has had enough alcohol? -If he starts smoking when wounded, he catches on fire. --- What's a Finnish man's Cooper's test? -12 minutes without alcohol. --- What's a Finnish man's 7 course meal? -A sixpack of beer and a bottle of vodka --- A Swedish man walks down the street shouting "The King is insane, the King is insane!" The police takes him to the jail. Soon, the man's friend comes to see him. -So, did they tell you about your punishment? -Yeah, five years and five days. -What?! That's awfully much. -No it isn't: Five days for infamation and five years for revealing one of the government's highly classified secrets! --- Two Swedish police officers are driving away from Stockholm with two nuclear bombs in the trunk, that have not been defused yet. Soon the other one says: "But what if one of the bombs explodes?" The other one replies: "Well, we'll just tell the chief we found only one." Edit: More of Gilded's and Phi for All's comical adventures: -I once knew a real man, a guy who had a girl for every finger! Gilded says. -Wow, was he famous or something? Phi for All asks. -No, he was an amateur pyrotechnician, Gilded replies.

Hehe, good one. ) ---- A little boy has a conversation with his father: -Dad, what's the difference between theory and practice? -Well, go and ask your big sister if she'd have sex with the high school football team for one million dollars. The little boy asks his sister and the sister replies "Oh yes I would, and I've done it - for free". The kid comes back shocked. -OK, now go and ask your mother if she'd have sex with both of our neighbors for a million dollars. The little boy asks his mother and receives a reply "Oh yes I would, and I've done it - for free". The kid is even more shocked. -Dad, what did this prove? -Well son, it proved the difference between theory and practice. -So what is it? -Theoretically, we have two million dollars. Practically, we only have two dirty hoes. ---- The Grand List of Temperatures (in Celsius, sorry Fahrenheit-people ) ): +7: The Brittish start to think it's getting rather cold. The Finnish plant flowers and wear shorts and T-shirts. +3: The Brittish have turned on the heating a long time ago. The Finnish go for a swim. 0: Water freezes. The Brittish are shivering. Finnish people are rather pissed because they have to cut the ice before going for a swim. -10: The Brittish are starting to panic. The Finnish are starting to think about switching to warmer clothing than shorts and T-shirts. -30: The Brittish are preparing for the Apocalypse. The Finnish decide it's time for sauna, some vodka and rolling in the snow. -50: The Brittish are praying. The Finnish decide it's time to consider wearing a sweater. -70: The Finnish start wearing sweaters. The Brittish start to live a couple of miles underground. -100: The Finnish get more pissed, as all vehicles are totally frozen, making it hard to fetch vodka from the store. This is also the reason for the ending of tea transportation, bringing an end to the Brittish population. -114: Ethanol freezes, bringing an instant end to the Finnish population.

Yay, marriage jokes! YT, Phi and other folks here in a "similar situation" are probably very pleased. :>> ---- It has been scientifically proven: Marriage affects your hearing! Immediately when a man gets married, his hearing gets very, very selective. What a woman says: "Listen, you and me should go shopping some day soon, I need new clothes! And what's with that TV watching while I'm talking to you?! And even your dirty clothes are on the floor! You're going to work naked tomorrow if you don't take these to the laundry box now!" What a man hears: <blah blah blah> YOU AND ME <blah blah blah> ON THE FLOOR <blah blah blah> NAKED <blah blah blah> NOW!

Ahaha, loved that Sayo-joke. Heard it before, but it's great anyway. Ahh, I think it's time for Christmas-jokes! When Phi for All was little, one of his older friends came to ask him what he wanted for Christmas. - I want a tampon! Phi said happily. - Why on Earth would YOU want a tampon?! his friend said. - Because I saw a commercial on TV that said "With this tampon you can ski, swim, run or dance without a problem!" Phi answered.

"Heh... that was the 666th reply." I was about to honor the 666th post by a God vs. Devil joke, but now I'm scared because when I tried to post it the server got "busy". But even with the possibility of God smiting me with a gazillion volt lightning, I'm going to post some religious (and/or other) jokes soon, so don't you worry. :>

-The Comical Mishaps of Phi For All- And once it happened so, that Phi's comical mishaps weren't so comical, and he went to Heaven. At the Pearly Gates St. Peter asked him: "What good things did you do in your life? I mean, good things for the spreading of Christianity?" "Umm... yeah, I taught a motorcycle club called The Undead Devils about the wonders of Christianity!" "Good job! When did that happen?" St. Peter asked. "About two minutes ago", Phi answered. -More rather comical mishaps of... some persons- YT2095, Gilded and Phi for All were on a plane. Then Gilded thought: "Hey, let's drop something down and see if it hits something!" YT and Phi agreed. Gilded dropped a stone, YT dropped a chili pepper and Phi dropped a hand grenade. Afterwards, they went to look for their items. Gilded saw a crying girl and asked: "Why are you crying?" "Well, someone first threw me with a stone and then a large chili pepper fell on my head", the girl sobbed. YT, Gilded and Phi kept walking, wondering what happened to the grenade. Soon, Phi saw a laughing boy and asked: "Why are you laughing?" "You're not going to believe this", the boy said. "When I farted, my neighbor's shed blew up!"

Heh, that hell-Monice-thing has been posted here like three times. I recommend reading through ALL the posts in this thread. You get a fuzzy warm feeling, get to enjoy a lot of jokes, and afterwards a "WTF? That took 6 hours of my precious time!"-feeling. --- Phi for All was on an Israel tourist trip (who American wouldn't like to visit Israel?). He then arrived at a lake shore. There was a boat tour available, that took people across the lake. The guy selling the tickets said: "Hey you! Only 20$ a trip!" "You've got to be kidding me", Phi said. "Well, this is Genesaret; the lake where Jesus walked on water!" "Well", Phi said. "No wonder that He did when the boat trip prices are so damn high!"

Heh, that hell-Monice-thing has been posted here like three times. I recommend reading through ALL the posts in this thread. You get a fuzzy warm feeling, get to enjoy a lot of jokes, and afterwards a "WTF? That took 6 hours of my precious time!"-feeling. --- Phi for All was on an Israel tourist trip (who American wouldn't like to visit Israel?). He then arrived at a lake shore. There was a boat tour available, that took people across the lake. The guy selling the tickets said: "Hey you! Only 20$ a trip!" "You've got to be kidding me", Phi said. "Well, this is Genesaret; the lake where Jesus walked on water!" "Well", Phi said. "No wonder that He did when the boat trip prices are so damn high!"

Haha, good ones Phi. ---Episode LXVI: Gilded strikes back once more--- For no apparent reason, Phi for All and Gilded are walking down the street. Suddenly, Phi says: "Hey Gilded, want to make some money?" "Sure", Gilded replies. "OK, guess how many dollars are in my wallet", Phi says. "What am I going to get if I guess right?" Gilded asks. "Either one of the dollars", Phi answers. --- Phi for All's kid comes home from school: Kid: Daddy, daddy! We had a very nice chemistry lesson today! Phi for All: Great! What did you learn? Kid: Well, our chemistry teacher Mr. YT2095 taught us lots, such as compound nitrating. Phi for All: Sounds interesting. What do you think you're going to learn tomorrow at school? Kid: What school? --- New York Times: A strange man was arrested today in Manhattan. He was throwing number figures made of solid gold at people. The man is now facing a 1000$ fine for the injuries caused by the gold figures, and a 200$ extra fine for shouting "PHI FOR ALL!" at little children who got very traumatized.