What is a pedophile?

[Callipygous]

i thought hetero and homo only referred to gender, why would it matter if they are attracted to younger or older memebers of the other sex?

[Coral Rhedd]

i thought hetero and homo only referred to gender, why would it matter if they are attracted to younger or older memebers of the other sex?

 

No, pedophiles are by definition classified as having their primary attraction to children. This is what makes them pedophiles. If they had a primary attraction to adults they would be either homosexual, heterosexual, or bisexual. Many pedophiles have no sexual relations with adults at all. In other words, they have no outlet for behaving sexually with the partner of their choices other than one which many countries consider to be illegal.

 

There are sexual offenders who are not pedophiles. These are sometimes called regressed offenders. Their primary attraction is to adults of either sex. They will offend against children in various circumtances. If they are stressed or depressed. If they have much more opportunity with children than they do with adults.

 

Then there are certain predatory sex offenders who will sexually assault almost anyone. These types are often sociopathic. Sometimes they can be very dangerous. They are offenders of opportunity.

[Vladimir]

Only in the west could you find such a corrupt and backward way of life that teaches ignorance to other cultres

[Callipygous]

when culture starts defining half of the population as property instead of people with rights its no longer worth respecting.

[Coral Rhedd]

Only in the west could you find such a corrupt and backward way of life that teaches ignorance to other cultres

 

First, you do not know what race or culture I am. Second, I like to learn about many cultures. However, if a girl is twelve, I believe she is too young for sex because sex at that age focuses her upon value as a sexual object or commodity rather than on her value as a an individual in her own right with her choice of her future before her.

 

I don't especially care whether sex with a child that age involves a piece of paper saying that it is legal and a marriage. Women have a right to a development independent of the needs of men. It is the inequality of power between a child and an adult that makes such traditions exploitative.

[Vladimir]

Just out of interest what is your favourite colr

[Coral Rhedd]

Just out of interest what is your favourite colr

 

If you are addressing me Vladimir, read my username.

 

I know you are upset with me, but I am not going to respond further on the subject of culture in this thread because the subject of the thread is pedophiles. If you have steam coming out of your ears, then I am sorry. It was not my purpose to upset you.

[ezekiel23]

.

[Dak]

Actually there is quite a bit of evidence that the object relations of pedophiles differs from that of adults who are attracted sexually to other adults.

do you have any referenses?

[ezekiel23]

.

[ezekiel23]

Genuine question here: Is it considered rude to use the word 'paedo' or is it just an accepted abbriviation?

 

I don't like it really...too tabloid

[Bettina]

Boylover and girllover are the terms most widely used for paedophiles now. This also helps distinguish between us and the general public view of anybody who labels themselves a paedophile.

Pedophiles want to be called "boy lover" and "girl lover" to make what they dream about sound more paletable. Cute. I think it goes like "A Rose by any other name...."

 

So...maybe what I am, while still pretty weird, isn't so[/i'] far removed from normal as people might think...and I guess that emotionally, what it feels like to be a paedophile is more or less exactly the same as what it feels like to be an ordinary heterosexual adult. There's just one, rather major difference.

 

I don't understand how the emotions of a pedophile/boy lover/child molester who wants sex with an 8 year old, can "be more or less exactly the same" as an ordinary heterosexual adult. I'm trying, but I just can't grasp it. Please explain this more for me.

 

I also (pretty much a guess on my part) understand why the pedophiles would like to eliminate or lower the Aoc, but something tells me (girls intuition) that it wouldn't be low enough to satisfy some.

 

Bettina

[Bettina]

Another thing that scares me is the amount of views this thread has recieved in the short time it has been here. I wonder if it is just curiosity, or are there a lot more pedophiles lurking around than I think.

 

Bettina

[BenSon]

i must say that i have viewed this thread without replying mainly because i think i might turn this into a flame war then get banned so i think its best if i just stay out of this argument. But it is an interesting thread none the less

 

~Scott

[Bettina]

i must say that i have viewed this thread without replying mainly because i think i might turn this into a flame war then get banned so i think its best if i just stay out of this argument. But it is an interesting thread none the less

 

~Scott

 

Speak up...Yes I worry about that too, but they will warn you first I'm sure.

 

Bettina

[Coral Rhedd]

I'm sorry' date=' I don't understand what you mean by object relations :S What I was talking about though, was in terms of what we feel for children is more or less exactly the same as what ordinary people feel for members of the opposite sex. For me to empathise with you, all I need do is imagine boy=woman and vice versa. This is why making analogies as was done is perfectly valid.

[/quote']

 

Ezekiel, object relations is a little difficult to explain. Here is a link with an extreme example manifesting in DID:

 

http://www.toddlertime.com/did/essay-did.htm

[Coral Rhedd]

i only ever claimed that in at least some of the cases' date=' adult/child sex is damaging. if you want citations, if i could request that choral rhied give them (this seems like your area of expertese, im assuming that you may have some referenses to desent studies to hand).

 

as far as your argument that AoC increases the likelyhood of rape, id ask you how the AoC could be viably be abolished (if thats what your sujjesting)? i do agree that repression can lead rape, hense why i think the stigma should be removed.[/quote']

 

Here is a link about (among other things) how sex activity with adult males in childhood is more likely to lead to the child becoming a forceful or violent sexual offender. I would call that damaging, not only to the child who grows up to be an offender but to society as a whole.

 

http://www.plf.net/robinsbiowriting/respaper.htm

[Coral Rhedd]

In the meantime here is an interesting one about paraphilias:

 

http://student.mscc.huji.ac.il/~forensic/subs/sexuald2.htm

 

I think people who characterize themselves as pedophiles but have never actually committed a sexual act with a child may be suffering from a paraphilia.

[GreenDestiny]

Hi all,

 

I've been following this thread for two days or so and since it seems to be an interesting discussion I decided to register as well.

 

There's a lot of talk about sex and this seems to be the biggest issue concerning pedophilia. Understandable, if one thinks about serious things like child abuse, but still I think this topic cannot be reduced to only sex. Probably there are a lot of pedophiles who have never had sex in their lives.

 

Apart from the sex discussion I think social acceptance is also an important issue. As has been said before in this thread no one chooses his or her sexual orientation. Nevertheless pedophiles are in general regarded as evil monsters, as scum, as sick, as the lowest of all life forms, etc... Almost everyone in today's society looks down on pedophiles. Wouldn't it be nice if there was at least a bit more acceptance?

 

Just imagine what it is like to be that way. You can't talk to your friends or family about it, because you have to fear being rejected by them. If it somehow comes out it usually has serious social consequences. Just imagine, you always have to keep part of yourself secret and when the topic comes up somewhere it usually does in a way which gives you the feeling that your life is somehow less valuable. But what is this actually good for? I think this doesn't make much sense and at least this stigma should be removed from pedophilia - not every pedophile is a child molester. After all, just keep in mind there are also teenagers out there who notice that they are somehow more attracted to younger kids. It's tough to realize that you're gay, but it's even tougher to realize that you might be a pedophile - and often there won't be anyone you could talk to about it.

 

So I think apart from the sex discussion social acceptance of pedophiles would be reasonable. And while I don't think that this will happen in the near future, I at least hope that some improvements could be possible in the long run.

[Merle Noir]

In the meantime here is an interesting one about paraphilias:

 

http://student.mscc.huji.ac.il/~forensic/subs/sexuald2.htm

 

I think people who characterize themselves as pedophiles but have never actually committed a sexual act with a child may be suffering from a paraphilia.

 

A Pedophilia IS a Paraphilia. In fact the APA is discussing should it be removed as a Paraphilia. -http://www.psych.org/news_room/press_releases/diagnosticcriteriapedophilia.pdf- -http://www.cnsnews.com/Culture/Archive/200306/CUL20030611c.html-

 

Actually' date=' from what I can make out, the emotion felt between paedophiles and anyone else is exactly the same, it is only the object of attraction that differs. Other than that, the attraction is perfectly analogous. [/quote']

Actually there is quite a bit of evidence that the object relations of pedophiles differs from that of adults who are attracted sexually to other adults.

 

I would point out this Quote from the CNSnews link

Different societies stigmatize different sexual behaviors, and since the existing research could not distinguish people with paraphilias from so-called "normophilics," there is no reason to diagnose paraphilics as either a distinct group or psychologically unhealthy, Moser and Kleinplatz stated.

 

Coral Rhedd I notice a lot of your sources you are providing are legal related links. That is fine they are valid and I don't dispute the information provided with in. However keep in mind this is a psychology forum not a law forum. The reason I say that is for law enforcement purposes a Pedophile and a sex offender are the same thing. They will often point out not all Pedophiles are sex offenders but then go out to interchange the two terms because for their purpose and roll it makes little difference, although does cause confusion of what the terms mean. With in Psychology a Pedophile is defined by attraction alone not by behavior. Because unlike law enforcement Psychiatry is all about what is happening in the mind they have to make a further distinction between someone that simply has a desire and someone that acts on that desire. A pedophile in psychology is defined by his/her thoughts and desires not by their actions.

 

Here is a link about (among other things) how sex activity with adult males in childhood is more likely to lead to the child becoming a forceful or violent sexual offender. I would call that damaging' date=' not only to the child who grows up to be an offender but to society as a whole.

 

http://www.plf.net/robinsbiowriting/respaper.htm[/quote']

 

Yes it can be damaging but in reading this it sounds to be very strongly based on studies of convicted sex offenders. This means you are not studying pedophiles you are studying convicted sex offenders. It also points out that the majority of victims may not ever report the incident. Also because it seems to be clinical and legal studies those studied are those who have come to the attention of law enforcement either by reporting it or being discovered. However Law enforcement assigns the role of victim to someone regardless of weather they feel victimized or not. The victims maybe more likely to be those who where forced into the relationship. It also does not consider the possibility of having a private relationship thrown out as public knowledge to be victimizing in and of itself... law enforcement can't or it would be derelict in its duty.

 

However when you look at collage based studies which on their own have fallacies of singling out a specific segment of the population the results tend to be completely different. Collage based studies do have the advantage of finding those that may have never felt the need to report the relationship or had it discovered. Such studies may involve relationships that are more mutually acceptable with a greater emphasis on romance that sex. although equally so they may include relationship in which the victim was forced or threatened into silence

 

Interestingly enough clinical and legal studies find a greater degree of harm while collage based studies find significantly less harm. When the abuse is defined as willing consensual relationship both clinical and collage studies find that that the majority of boys the was no sign of harm. However when the victim was unwilling or even uncertain there was a greater degree of feeling harmed after the fact.(Constantine, 1981; Haugaard & Emery, 1989; Li, 1990a; Oellerich, 2001*; Rind et al., 1998; West & Woodhouse, 1990) For Boys Harm is often greater from Physical and emotional abuse then from sexual abuse. (Meston et al., 1999; Ney et al., 1994; Okami, 1990)

 

 

One thing most researchers agree upon is that there is no inevitable outcome and no set of symptoms or even a particular syndrome that can be attributed to Adult/Child sex. They do find that negative outcomes tend to be associated with Coercion, invasiveness, the duration, Sex negative attitudes, and judgmental adult reactions. (Beitchman et al., 1992; Constantine, 1981; Fergusson & Mullen, 1999; Ingram, 1981; Kilpatrick, 1987; West & Woodhouse, 1990)

[MulderMan]

Another thing that scares me is the amount of views this thread has recieved in the short time it has been here. I wonder if it is just curiosity' date=' or are there a lot more pedophiles lurking around than I think.

 

Bettina[/quote']

 

although i do like to keep a neutral opinion, would i matter if a scientist here was a paedophile? science isnt about discrimination.

 

i have also noticed alot of derogatory posts towards this issue of paedophilia, i do not endorse it and think that it should be treated, but shunning people that are one is only going to make matters worse. my perspective is that a peadophile thinks what there doing is ok, regardless of others moral output. much like alot of humans thinking what there doing is alright.

[Merle Noir]

Pedophiles want to be called "boy lover" and "girl lover" to make what they dream about sound more paletable. Cute. I think it goes like "A Rose by any other name...."

 

Yes and No. I call myself by both because I am both. I think Pedophile needs to be understood by its proper definition and not confused with legal definitions based on a crime. Pedophile is some one attracted to a child nothing more nothing less. However Pedophile does not distiguish the nature of the attraction. So Boylover informs people I'm attracted not to all children but specifically boys. Reverse for a Girl lover. However many prefer to use Boylover/Girllover to escape what they see as the negative bagage associated with the title Pedophile. To me it is entirely how the word is used that is important. A person can say Boylover negatively just as they can say pedophile negatively. For better understanding of that see my comments to your next question.

 

I don't understand how the emotions of a pedophile/boy lover/child molester who wants sex with an 8 year old, can "be more or less exactly the same" as an ordinary heterosexual adult. I'm trying, but I just can't grasp it. Please explain this more for me.

I think your confusing the your reaction to the object of the attraction, i.e. you are repulsed that someone finds a child sexually atractive, with the emotions that are, in and of themselves, what make up attraction. Put another way we are not comparing an adult man and women to a boy or girl. We are comparing the attraction, the desire that is within a persons mind, of how a non-pedophile feels towards a man or a woman, next to how a pedophile might feel for a boy and a girl. Or to try to put it in a different context attraction is that you find someone very beuatiful and are drawn or attraacted to that beauty. Just as you may not agree with your girlfriends about what guys are attractive we don't agree about what age is attractive. But your girlfriends feelings that a guy's are attractive are just the same feeling with a difference in term of the object of the attraction... the guy. SAme here my feelings of attraction are just the same with a difference interms of the oject of the attraction... the age.

 

To break up the quote: "be more or less exactly the same"Tthe exactly the same part is the feeling we get looking at someone we find attractive... the more or less part is the differences in opinion we may have about the attractiveness of the person.

[Vladimir]

For somebody with empathic abilities i would have thought it to be easy.

The problem is something that our society has brought up, and decided that sex with children is wrong.

Fifty years ago if i had brought hand cuffs into teh bedroom my wife would have fled imediately. Now a days people are more openly sexually explicit than ever before, and i cant help but think of a future where peadophiles are accepted as the 'norm'

[Merle Noir]

Coral Rhedd in terms of my criticism of the clinical and legal studies let me add this. If you did a study of Heterosexuality and to find subject to study went to the police and to therapists and asked for references to those involved in heterosexual sex what kind of samples would you get? Would you really be studying heterosexuality or would you be studying rape? Apply that to Pedophilia which admittedly this is not a perfect analogy but still close enough to be valid. If you go to police and therapists and ask to speak to this involved in pedophilic relationships are you studying pedophilia or are you studying child sex abuse? Would you be surprised then in either study to find that the effects upon the victims are harmful. This is not to say that either studies results are disingenuous or inaccurate other then to the degree that you must be certain that you don't apply the results, to those that where not the subject of the study.

[Bettina]

For somebody with empathic abilities i would have thought it to be easy.

 

No offense, but where are you coming from anyway?

 

My empathic ability is being directed to the CHILD and though I do feel a little empathy for the molester for being born that way, I find it repugnant that some would use this board to further their quest for acceptance.

 

The problem is something that our society has brought up, and decided that sex with children is wrong.

 

Your correct. Its called moral values which surprises me you would consider it a problem. I can however see moral values being torn down in this country every day.

 

........Now a days people are more openly sexually explicit than ever before, and i cant help but think of a future where peadophiles are accepted as the 'norm'

 

I hope the concept of this future your describing doesn't become reality, because it would stop me from having children.....really. I see my country throwing away moral values every day because not enough people care anymore. Pedophiles are coming out of the woodwork now and carrying out there dreams as you plainly see on TV, and now they come to this board to further their goal of being accepted for what they are.

 

If you google "pedophile", you will find somewhere it links to this site which is why we are getting so many hits.

 

http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=GGLD,GGLD:2004-48,GGLD:en&q=pedophile+sfn

 

I wish this thread was closed, but since it isnt then all I can say is if the smooth talking pedophiles on this board are Coke, then where is Pepsi.

 

Bettina