This was the final clue.

 

It all makes sense now. It's so logical.

 

Why would aliens want Doritos? Because they have a bad attack of the munchies.

 

Why do they have the munchies? Because they've been smoking wacky weed.

 

So why haven't they come? Because they're all sitting in their saucer looking at the wormhole going "Wow man, that's awesome."

 

Not mine, I paraphrased the Aussie show "Good News Week" but I thought it worth sharing.

Wow, that ad campaign is about the same level of stupidity as Rolling Rock beer announcing they were going to project an advert on the moon with a laser.

Huh?

 

Jeez, this lack of sleep is killin' me!!!