That depends if you mean females or a female (and tbh I know plenty of males who would qualify).

Doesn't matter, it was just a bit of a joke really.

 

(but yes, I know quite a few males who come under the category of parasite as well).

Plasmodium falciparum. I gained a healthy respect for it during my honours year.

 

And hey, with more than 300 million infections and at least one million deaths annually, its not to be messed with

Just one of many Cordyceps and is from where cyclosporin was discovered.

Im only picking this one because I find its home prefference funny.

 

Crabs

From this site: http://www.fact-index.com/c/ca/candiru.html

 

"Candiru

\'Candirú'

 

Scientific classification

Kingdom: Animalia

Phylum: Chordata

Class: Osteichthyes

Order: Siluriformes

Family: Trichomycteridae

Genus: Vandellia

 

Species

V. balzanii

V. beccarii

V. cirrhosa

V. plazaii

V. sanguinea

Ref: FishBase 2002-08-10

The candirú or canero (Vandellia cirrhosa) is a freshwater fish in the group commonly called the catfishes. It is found in the Amazon River and has a reputation among the natives as the most feared fish in its waters, even over the piranha. The species grows only to a size of an inch in length and is eel shaped and translucent, making it almost impossible to see in the water. The candiru is a parasite. It swims into the gill cavities of other fishes, erects a spine to hold itself in place, and feeds on the blood in the gills, earning it a nickname as the "vampire fish of Brazil".

 

It is feared by the natives because it is attracted to urine or blood, and if the bather is nude it will swim into an orifice (the anus, vagina or even - in the case of the smaller specimens - the penis and deeper through the urethra). It then erects its spine and begins to feed on the blood and body tissue just as it would from the gills of a fish. The candiru is then almost impossible to remove except through an operation, usually involving the amputation of the area. A more expensive option is the use of two plants, the Xagua plant (Genipa americana) and the Buitach apple which are inserted (or their extract in the case of tight spaces) into the affected area. These two plants together will kill and then dissolve the fish. More often, the pain causes shock and death in the victim before it can be removed.

 

Recommended reading:

 

 

Herman, John B, 'Candiru: Urinophilic catfish -- It's gift to urology', Urology 1(3):265-267 (1973).

 

Gudger, EW, 'Bookshelf browsing on the Alleged Penetration of the Human Urethra by an Amazonian Catfish Called Candiru,' Americal Journal of Surgery 8(1): 170-188, 443-457 (1930).

 

Vinton, KW, Stickler, WH, 'The Carnero, a fish parasite of man and possibly animals,' Americal Journal of Surgery 54:511- (1941).

"

 

Kinda makes you want to cross your legs or wear a chastity belt, doesn't it?

Ew, the thought of that fish creeps me out.

 

Erm, are vampire bats and finches considered parasites? If so I'd have to go with them. If not I'll say... ticks.