Any leads for the mechanism by which friendly feelings get translated into sexual attraction? Prompted by personal situation re some guy have never seen, no romantic talk between us at all, in fact bit of a nuisance he's self proclaimed asexual, though on occasion sex has been brought up in some more academic context. Just that have come to like him, and that has translated into sexual feelings, not as strong as direct lust but identifiable.

 

Am just getting into brain stuff, interest being autism spectrum disorders, and what little have stumbled across seems to rely on more physical experience. Could be possible, I expect, is some memory activated system, previous sexual encounters leading to some sort of bonding, memory of which is now close enough far as my brain is concerned to platonic bonding to consider it the same or near equivalent and thus activate sexual attraction?

 

Rather specualtive, if anyone has anything more concrete to go on would be appreciated

asexual wow!

I guess you might distinguish between lust, and love. I believe in spiritual attraction; not physical or mental just right, as to why god knows. Maybe there is an inherrent impulse that attacts people with whom you

are compatible and would make a good baby. Also there is the factor of survival, a partner that is strong or intelligent would be a safer bet than someone weak and insane, someone with a warm heart and good nature will make you and your offspring's life together alot more succesful. That said alot of women are more interested in the car you drive and men in a good pair of titties or a tight arse! I guess love has a purpose in our evolution as do hormones, but i think they are seperate and as we have evolved beyond pure animal instinct and physical strengh is no longer an important factor in our survival the animal side of our nature is diminishing. I fell for a girl, on first sight there was a wave of emotion and when we talked it was like no other conversation I had ever had, I almost wound up in tears due to the power of my feelings, I felt that our souls were just compatible (shame she had a bloke!) anyway I did not feel sexually turned on and would find it hard to imagine copulating with her.

SmokingSkillz said in post #2 :

That said alot of women are more interested in the car you drive and men in a good pair of titties or a tight arse!

You don't have a girlfriend do you?

My car is sexy and fast, and I still don't get any

 

Then again I only hang around girls who aren't of questionable intelligence.

I'm sorry, if I was a cute girl then I don't think I would like you either. Oh I'm just kidding.

But hopefully the opposite is true. ?? shiver. Or not true?

Never mind.

D`oh,,, and there was me thinking that Friendship was a needed precursor to a rellationship with a Girly!

 

boy was I ever wrong, I must have been dead lucky then as I have no car, no good looks, and am a totaly busted up old Biker!?

maybe it was the beer breath?

Can someone start a "Are you getting any" poll

Well, will take the responses to date as a no, we have no leads...

 

Am really not speaking of relationships here, and aside from the fact that I am sexual are other reasons would not expect this to lead to one in the real world. But none the less and questions of relationship aside, the physiological response is there, and that is what I find curious

 

Put the question in the neuroscience for a reason, as is the mechanism am interested in and that is where I would expect to find it

It will be a real mix of genetic and cultural issues I think. Our resident biologists are away I think, but the brain is a pretty complicated thing. There will usually be certain things that you look for in a partner. Men will look for a good healthy child bearing woman, and women will probably look for anything that isn't fafalone

Oh! Burn!

Radical Edward, guess will be patient then

 

To the others: was recently told, for a somewhat different reason, I could rain on any parade. While not strictly true, can see cause for the comment. My apologies, was not trying to spoil the fun, just get my question back on track...

Your post was to long so i didnt read it all otherwise i would.......

what i would like to know is... someone you are not even REMOTELY physically attracted to... when you kiss them... then all of a sudden you see something else in them??? what's that all about? is it a chemical in the other's mouth that makes you all of a sudden either want them or not want them???

I think(a rare thing) that once you relize the possibility of something, then you want it. ??

Rockstar, that's sort of the position I was starting from, that the emotional response proceeds from the physiologic, since posting the question have doubted if is valid to assume that as the starting point

well i am in sort of a relationship with someone i wasn't even remotely attracted to. i went out of my way when i first met him, NOT to hang out with him, not to kiss him not to do anything with him at all. one morning when i was asleep he kissed me and i kissed back even though i didn't want to... and now i can't be without him. if i would have seen him on the side of the road i wouldn't have given him the time of day...now i'm glad i did.

I too young for this!

weird scenerio rockstar---- so i'm confused---- do you now love him, or what would you call it?

 

Love is really radical. I wont go into depth with all my beliefs about it cuz i probably come out sounding like an idiot. Anyway lasting attraction is half personality--- well i don't know how to assign it a ratio, both physical and personality are interrelated, and about as important as each other but personality dominates. You can pretend physicality dominates but it wont make good bonding, which is really bad if kids come from the relationship because then they don't get the love they deserve to develop propperly. Mostly though if physicality is your sole focus you don't want children.

 

Excuse my psychobabble if you think its pointless, which i think i may agree with you on (pointless for this enviroment and its purpose at least).

yes. i do. more than anything in the world. love. i haven't been in love for a long time. now that i am. i'm happy.

Love Rocks

i agree YT2... he is my world. pretty much the best friend i ever had. not my boyfriend yet but maybe some day

Most splendid!

 

you hang onto that for as long as you possibly can hun

i'll hold on to it with a death grip... he says i'm pushing him away... what do i have to do to keep him?

Hold less tightly.

lol thank you glider