Phi for All

A couple of quickies I heard recently:

 

The real reason the Bush administration is so upset about the Iraqi prisoner abuse scandal is they fear people will realize they were caught lying about sex.

 

Surgeons say politicians are the easiest people in the world to operate on. They have no guts, no heart and no spine, and their heads and a**es are interchangeable.

A homeless man knocks on the door of a big mansion. When the lady of the house answers he explains that he'd like a handout so he can buy some food. The lady says, "I didn't get to be rich by handing out money to vagrants. If you want money from me, you'll have to work for it!"

The man says he doesn't mind working to earn the money and asks what she wants him to do.

"Paint the porch around back and I'll give you $20. You'll find the paint & equipment in the shed. And," the lady adds, "you'd better do a good job or you'll get nothing!"

An hour later the man knocks on the front door again. When the lady answers he tells her he's through and asks for his money.

The lady exclaims, "It's a huge porch! It should have taken you all day! You couldn't possibly have done a good job. I'm not paying you a penny! Now get out of here before I call the police!"

The man says, "I did do a good job! I was very careful. And for your information, it's not a porch, it's a Mercedes!"

So the law isn't the ethical problem. You are assuming she'll never tell anyone who might report you. Since I didn't get answers to all my questions, I'm going to assume this girl is 14 or 15 (any younger and you are definitely in trouble in many ways). I'm also assuming you were not pushing her away as she was kissing you, so you've already given her your consent. Ethics comes into it because you must feel she is too young to know what she is doing. What you really need to find out is where she wants this all to lead. Why does she want this so badly? Does she want a quick fling? Does she want to lose her virginity? Does she want a relationship? Does she want to make her parents angry? Does she want you to buy her booze? Does she want to hang out with someone older who's attracted to her, and thinks that you'll only do that if she sleeps with you?

LOL, now its funny.

Sorry, it didn't have a cat in it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(See post #32)

I still dont see how thats very funny, whats it have to do with the 100th brick???

Maybe this will help:

A guy goes skydiving for the first time. After he jumps out of the

plane, he counts to ten, pulls the ripcord, and nothing happens. Only

a little worried, he pulls the cord for the auxiliary parachute, but

unfortunately, the chute still does not appear. As he is plummeting

toward the Earth, he sees a woman coming up the other way. He shouts to

her "Do you know anything about parachutes?" "No", she says, "do you

know anything about gas stoves?"

Favorite heaven joke:

A rich man who was near death was very sad because he had worked so hard for his money and he wanted to take it with him to heaven. So he began to pray that he might be able to take some of his wealth with him.

 

An angel hears his plea and appears to him. "Sorry, but you can't take your wealth with you." The man implores the angel to speak to God to see if He might bend the rules.

 

The man continues to pray that his wealth could follow him.

 

The angel reappears and informs the man that God has decided to allow him to take one suitcase with him. Overjoyed, the man gathers his largest suitcase and fills it with pure gold bars and places it beside his bed.

 

Soon afterward the man dies and shows up at the Gates of Heaven to greet St. Peter.

 

Seeing the suitcase St. Peter says, "Hold on, you can't bring that in here!"

 

But, the man explains to St. Peter that he has permission and asks him to verify his story with the Lord. Sure enough, St. Peter checks and comes back saying, "You're right. You are allowed one bag, but I'm supposed to check its contents before letting you through."

 

St. Peter opens the suitcase to inspect what the man found too precious to leave behind and exclaims, "You brought pavement?!!!"

A brick.

 

Nice set up, Lance.

Favorite Bush joke:

Cheney here's a big, "YEEEEE-HAH!" come from the Oval Office. He rushes in and Bush tells him, "Boss, I just finished this jigsaw puzzle in record time!"

Cheney sighs and says, "That's great junior. How long did it take you?"

Bush replies, "Two weeks!"

Cheney asks, "What's the average time?"

Bush says, "Well, the box says 2-4 YEARS!"

My favorite computer joke:

Three engineers are carpooling to work when the car breaks down. The mechanical engineer says, "I think the engine's shot."

The electrical engineer says, "I think the problem is in the wiring."

The computer engineer says, "Can't we just get out of the car and get back in again?"

If an underage girl does everything in her power to seduce you what do you do?

Is your ethical question one of breaking the law or is it one of taking advantage of an immature girl? In the state of Mass, the age of consent is just like fafalone said it was in Florida. In my state it's 15. In Hawaii and Idaho it's 14. Personally, ethically, I think 16 is a much more mature age. If she is a great deal underage, is she being seductive because she's horny or is she just pissed off at her parents and wants to get pregnant, move out, get married, have a baby and live happily ever after? Also, is this happening to you or to a friend?

If Chuck and Joerg can dig up over 40 pieces of hardware without getting caught, this MUST mean they've moved the alien stuff to the other top secret base, you know, the one on the equator where they can keep tabs on infiltrators via geostationary satellite....

While I believe there is extraterrestrial life, I don't believe we've seen the evidence of any. They couldn't be from the Sol system. Any beings capable of traveling outside their own solar system would probably have access to technology that would keep them from crashing in the desert.

 

Long before they would send out "manned" exploration craft, their energy requirements would necessitate utilizing their own sun and any gas giants as fuel sources. We would probably see signs of a nearby Type 1 civilization and we haven't to my knowledge.

 

If they had cracked the secrets of higher dimensional travel to avoid the speed of light paradox, they would be even more advanced and the idea of desert crashes becomes ludicrous. If they could fold space we would be like insects to them. When walking through a park, do you even think about the bugs you're stepping on?

 

I wish an advanced, alien culture would come to visit. It would unite us as a race. We could ask them how they got over the Element 92 hurdle without anhililating themselves. How did they evolve socially fast enough to overcome the evolution of their ability to destroy?

?that dosnt make sense.?

Perhaps this joke will help:

A bear and a rabbit are out in the woods taking a s**t together. They finish and the bear asks the rabbit, "Do you ever have a problem with the s**t sticking to your fur?"

The rabbit says, "No, I don't have that problem."

The bear says, "Good", and he wipes his a** with the rabbit.

Errr... I didn't ask about the pronunciation, I asked who told you that.

Mea culpa. It was a friend who doesn't have your credentials, but had a math professor in college who pronounced it that way. My wife tells me that Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code uses that pronunciation as well. Perhaps I felt a vicarious thrill at going against the fraternal grain. I can be that way, you know.

Who told you that? I'm pretty sure it's incorrect.

As a Greek letter, it is pronounced FEE when used after a vowel, and when it is used to represent the Golden Mean it is also pronounced FEE. Greeks actually pronounce it more like the I in FILTER, but that's closer to FEE than FYE. I found this link from an actual Greek to back me up.

 

I sure HOPE I'm pronouncing it right. Britney and I got tattoos...

I loved the idea of the Greeks discovering pi to figure out circles and phi as the Golden Mean. I always thought phi was pronounced FYE until someone told me it was pronounced FEE. So Phi for All is a play on Free for All.

Everyone already knows my real name. If not ask Phi for All.Or YT2095.Mostly anyone.

Btw, you told EVERYONE your name in post #182 in the thread "I will prove that God exists" in the Philosophy & Religion section of the Forum. I violated no trusts.

Have any of you seen this before? This guy was a marine's marine in his day, long before any of us were born. He was one of only two Marines who received the Medal of Honor TWICE for separate acts of outstanding bravery.

 

-- Excerpt from a speech delivered in 1933, by Major General Smedley

Butler, USMC.

 

War is just a racket. A racket is best described, I believe, as

something that is not what it seems to the majority of people. Only a

small inside group knows what it is about. It is conducted for the

benefit of the very few at the expense of the masses.

 

I believe in adequate defense at the coastline and nothing else. If a

nation comes over here to fight, then we'll fight. The trouble with

America is that when the dollar only earns 6 percent over here, then

it gets restless and goes overseas to get 100 percent. Then the flag

follows the dollar and the soldiers follow the flag.

 

I wouldn't go to war again as I have done to protect some lousy

investment of the bankers. There are only two things we should fight

for. One is the defense of our homes and the other is the Bill of

Rights. War for any other reason is simply a racket.

 

There isn't a trick in the racketeering bag that the military gang is

blind to. It has its "finger men" to point out enemies, its "muscle

men" to destroy enemies, its "brain men" to plan war preparations, and

a "Big Boss" Super-Nationalistic-Capitalism.

 

It may seem odd for me, a military man to adopt such a comparison.

Truthfulness compels me to. I spent thirty- three years and four

months in active military service as a member of this country's most agile

military force, the Marine Corps. I served in all commissioned ranks

from Second Lieutenant to Major-General. And during that period, I

spent most of my time being a high class muscle- man for Big Business,

for Wall Street and for the Bankers. In short, I was a racketeer, a gangster for capitalism.

 

I suspected I was just part of a racket at the time. Now I am sure of

it. Like all the members of the military profession, I never had a

thought of my own until I left the service. My mental faculties

remained in suspended animation while I obeyed the orders of higher-ups. This

is typical with everyone in the military service.

 

I helped make Mexico, especially Tampico, safe for American oil

interests in 1914. I helped make Haiti and Cuba a decent place for the

National City Bank boys to collect revenues in. I helped in the raping

of half a dozen Central American republics for the benefits of Wall

Street. The record of racketeering is long. I helped purify Nicaragua

for the international banking house of Brown Brothers in 1909-1912

(where have I heard that name before?). I brought light to the

Dominican Republic for American sugar interests in 1916. In China I helped to

see to it that Standard Oil went its way unmolested.

 

During those years, I had, as the boys in the back room would say, a

swell racket. Looking back on it, I feel that I could have given Al

Capone a few hints. The best he could do was to operate his racket in

three districts. I operated on three continents.

I respect what our soldiers are going through over there, but Bush's "racket in Iraq" does NOT deserve our patriotism.

I have lost all respect I had for you, Fafalone. I know that means nothing to you. I'm one of those liberals you're always on about. I'm liberal because my patriotism ends when this country feels the need to feed on hate and fear to make it great. The US has its fair share of crazies and I'm sure every country has them as well. Do you love your country when it makes war on an entire people to strike the crazies? Do you love your country when its mistakes pile up as high as the bodies of US and Iraqi citizens? I only give unconditional love to my child, and I hope it's many years before she has to see something as graphic as what you've posted in this forum.

 

I agree with Sayonara, I have no interest in watching that video. You have made it available to people in this forum and I hope those who haven't even seen two decades of life will not be disturbed by viewing it. What an image to leave in someone's mind.

A. Joking with ad staff of college newspaper, 1976, forgot to correct my joke, printed 500 papers with "Furd/Dull" banner under the faces of Gerald Ford and Bob Dole in a paid GOP ad.

 

Q. Cats or Dogs?

A. Definitely three digits.

 

Q. Organic or chemicals?

WOW! I don't know what... WOW!

 

I think accepting something positive that is part of yourself is always a good idea. Accept the positive and deny the negative! You denied the damage to your back, you denied the viruses that have been attacking you and everybody else for the last nine years, and you denied the damage to your eyes. Going off your glasses is the only thing really explainable to me; glasses are a crutch and allow you NOT to exercise your eyes.

 

As for your gift of insight, here and here are some linkys that may help a bit to bridge the gap between science and the Twilight Zone for you.

 

For what it's worth, this is the first time I've been in the Genetics section of the forums. I saw the mention of Evolution towards psychic... and I clicked on it. Usually that takes you to the first post in the thread, but this time it took me straight to your post. Spooky, or was I drawn here?

A. 6' 4"

 

Q. Funniest one-liner?

yes, plenty of movies show that.

????

i can't name any at the moment' date=' but [/quote']Yeah, neither could I.

almost any hero vs. villian movie will have that element in it

Again' date=' I couldn't think of any.

(the villian always has innocent lackeys

The "innocent lackeys" don't get shot by the hero. Lackeys who get shot are usually firing at the hero indiscriminantly, so it's deemed OK to blow them away.

So a kitchen magnet proves a god exists?

An orderly god would never approve of my refrigerator.

 

Since heating magnetite makes it lose its strength, does that mean the devil in hell is more powerful than God?

 

I think the "no physicist will discuss this matter further" part is like a glove to the cheek, don't you? And did you notice all of his referrals are from either publishers or people with no credentials? This is my favorite:

 

"Most fascinating non-fiction book I've ever read!" …

"A simple, elegant explanation that at first seems

impossible, but on further examination one finds that it's

not that easy to refute." -- Steve Hanson, Mankato, MN, U.S.A

That's just funny.

 

It will mean cleaner roads and cities' date=' but realistically (in a competitive, widely-distributed market) it's not going to be cheaper energy.[/quote']In your opinion, where would the research money for alternative energy be best spent?