Phi for All

From various Hollywood movies:

"Hold on, do we go ON 3, or is it like 1, 2, 3, GO?"

"Your would-be hero can't save you now!"

"You'll never take me alive!"

"The plan is foolproof."

"No one can stop me now!"

"Who's the genius here, me or you?"

"Wait, I remember now. It's the BLUE wire!"

There were two priests that rode their bicycles to church every Sunday. One Sunday the first priest shows up without his bike. The other priest asks him where it is and the first priest says, "I think it was stolen!"

The other priest says, "In today's sermon, read off the Ten Commandments, and when you get to 'Thou shall not steal', someone will confess to the theft."

Later they saw each other and the first priest had his bicycle back. "I see you got your bike back! Did you do what I said?" the other priest asks.

The first priest says, "Well, kind of. When I was reading the commandments and I got to 'Thou Shall Not Commit Adultery', I remembered where I left it."

My favorites are the people who are too stupid to get real jobs, so they decide to become criminals, thus exercising further stupidity.

I remember hearing about a woman who robbed a convenience store but left her purse behind, a guy who wrote a robbery note to a bank teller on the back of one of his pre-printed deposit slips, and a guy who was arrested for robbing vending machines whose brother posted bail for him and paid entirely in quarters.

Look on the bright side: now you have twice as much space as you thought you did!

Sorry, dryan, bet that left scars.

Can I disable the built-in pop-up blocker? I use a voice-over IP for unlimited long-distance sales calling to my architecture & engineering clients and need Salesforce online as a database to link with my company nationally.

I rarely have to shut down with XP so I knew something was screwy when things started slowing down and locking up on me. I usually run Outlook, Word and an online database called Salesforce, and I usually have 2 or 3 Explorer windows open (for SFN, of course). This Malware acted like it was my best friend while it installed 110 Data Miners on my comp. Salesforce doesn't work well with pop-up blockers and I hated the reduced screen with the extra toolbar or I wouldn't have messed with it. I swear it snuck in with my last HP or Windows update so I didn't even think about spyware.

Thanks Sayo, that fixed it good, and then some.

We've come a long way from, "Hey little kid, wanna cookie?"

I picked up the iSearch toolbar somehow, either in a Windows or an HP update and I never use it. Every time I open an Explorer window I have to get rid of it since it makes my screen that much smaller. I can't find a way to uninstall it. Any recommendations or advice? Does anybody use it/like it/hate it?

A college professor had just finished explaining an important research project to his class. He emphasized that this paper was an absolute requirement for passing his class, and there would be only two acceptable excuses for being late: a medically certifiable illness or a death in the student's immediate family.

A smartass in the back of the classroom asked, "But what about extreme sexual exhaustion, professor?" The class exploded in laughter.

When the students finally settled down, the professor gave the student a long, appraising look. "Well", he responded, "I guess you'll just have to write with your other hand!"

I believe in the value-added approach!

Actually, I tried to smiley my beastly sarcasm but it put the grin at the top of the post.

A newlywed couple were spending their honeymoon in a remote log cabin resort up the mountains. They registered on Saturday but had not been seen for 5 days. An elderly couple ran the resort, and they were getting concerned about the welfare of these newlyweds.

The old man decided to go and see if they were all right. He knocked on the door of the cabin and a weak voice from inside answered. The old man asked if they were OK.

"Yes, we're fine. We're living on the fruits of love".

The old man replied, "I see...well, would you mind not throwing the peelings out the window? They're choking my ducks!"

If you didn't understand, the boy now ends up with $1000 and the man with $500, exactly the opposite to what they had started off with!

Two nuns bicycling down a cobbled street. The first one says, "I've never come this way before."

The second one replies, "Must be the cobbles."

If you didn't understand, PM Dave.

I don't doubt that it will provide a wealth of data for study and will tell us many things about the time periods invilved. I just don't hold much hope that weather patterns will ever be acurately predicted using examples from the past. Too many factors effect climate and too much has changed in three quarters of a million years.

If it can help change world opinion on greenhouse gasses, environmental pollution and alternative energy sources, I feel that would be effort better spent.

How do they think this will help with predicting future climate changes when the eight ice ages they found represented in the core sample were all of differing lenghts and severities?

Although one thing that is kind of bugging me is that (so far) 90% of the threads(there weren't many to begin with) that I start, these threads simply die off - no response and are generally completely ignored.

I had no posts on it for 2 weeks, with about 25 viewings. I PM'd fafalone to change the title but he never did. Then I got a post from Tesseract, and you and Sayonara commented on his use of smilies but not to my thread. The viewings went up to like 80 but I still got only one opinion posted.

I'm still not sure if I just put it badly or simply left no room for discussion.

I notice Sayonara^{3[/sup'] stays on for great lengths of time, though he might be doing other stuff at the same time.}

^{Since trueLove hasn't made a reappearance, I noticed Sayo went back to Doomy Doom as a user title instead of To Protect and Sever. I feel like I've lost my Big Brother.}

Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young newly-wed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor said, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks." The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.

The pastor went to the elderly couple and asked, "Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?"

The old man replied, "No problem at all, Pastor."

"Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor. The pastor went to the middle-aged couple and asked, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?"

The man replied, "The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yes, we made it."

"Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor. The pastor then went to the newly-wed couple and asked, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?"

"No Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks," the young man replied sadly.

"What happened?" asked the pastor.

"My wife was reaching for a can of beans on the top shelf and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there."

"You understand, of course, this means you will not be welcome in our church," said the pastor.

"We know," said the young man, "We're not welcome at the supermarket any more either."

A rabbi and a priest get into a car accident and it's a bad one. Both cars are totally demolished, but, amazingly, neither of the clerics is hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the rabbi sees the priest's collar and says, "So you're a priest. I'm a rabbi. Just look at our cars. There's nothing left, but we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God. God must have meant that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days."

The priest replies, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God." The rabbi continues, "And look at this. Here's another miracle. My car is totalled but this bottle of Mogen David wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."

He hands the bottle to the priest and the priest takes a few big swigs, and hands the bottle back to the rabbi. The rabbi takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap on, and puts it away.

The priest asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The rabbi replies, "No...I think I'll wait for the police."

The Blind Watchmaker for neo-Darwinism (also by Richard Dawkins) and Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams for scientific humor at it's absolute best (all work and no play makes for a dull Evil Giraffe).

I love "others"!

Sayo, you're no longer a ghost in the machine, what gives?

I'm Type E. I start a thread when I have a question, I post when I have an opinion or an answer, I read old threads when I have the time and I respond when I get email notification. All of you are a great resource for perspectives I'm rarely exposed to in my personal and professional life.

You are mentally and spiritually refreshing!

Did you really have to say this TWICE?

Medieval times' date=' is that a Global ref or a regional one?

as in was medieval China at the same time as Medieval England?

 

or is it a general term like Paleolithic, or Jurassic etc...?[/quote']Apparently medieval is a global calendar reference, though some of the info I found put the early part of medieval China in 200 AD, and medieval America in 300 AD.

 

Dark Ages (pre-medieval or sub-Roman) seem to refer mostly to Europe (Britain predominantly but not exclusively).

 

I still haven't found info on how pre-Christian era Greeks knew about Jupiter and Saturn. Since they don't transit ("passing" when referring to gas giants being too crude) the sun it makes it difficult to imagine how they knew about them.

Here's a nice clean one you can tell your grandma:

A preschool teacher was driving a van full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmation dog.

The children started arguing about what the dog's duties are.

"They use him to keep the crowds back," said one youngster.

"No," said another, "he's there for good luck."

A third child said, "No silly, they use the dog to find the fire hydrant!"

Chill my man, it's safe but John Titor's got the keys! Unless I like misunderstood the question? Bare ass me again!

Okay, so you're like making out with Madonna, Whoa! (air guitar!), in the past, and suddenly she like gets into the Kabbalah and wants you to call her Esther in the present (BOGUS! Like who makes out with a chick named Esther?), and you're thinking, "Dude, if you slip her the tongue now (snicker, elbow), what'll she want in the future when she gets into like Scientology?", then what was time doing? Did it party on in the same direction or did it rock in ways we cannot comprehend? Excellent question!

(Swirly dream sequence) BRANES WORLD! BRANES WORLD! Party on, dude! (Fade the swirlies and cue reality) Excellent!