swansont

Well, yes. But posting a joke isn't necessarily an endorsement of that point of view.

A fresh-faced lad on the eve of his wedding night goes to his mother with a question that had been puzzling him for most of the day "Mom" he asks "why are wedding dresses white?" The mother looks at her son and replies, "Son, the color is symbolic of the bride's purity of spirit and devotion." The son thanks his mom and goes off to double-check this with his father. "Dad why are wedding dresses white?" The father looks at his son in surprise and says, "Son, all household appliances come in white."

A young bloke has started work on at a large ranch, and the boss sends him up the back paddocks to do some fencing work, come evening hasn't returned. The boss gets on the CB radio to check if he's all right. "I've got a problem, Boss. I'm stuck 'ere. I hit a pig!" "Ah well, these things happen sometimes," the boss says. "Just drag the carcass off the road so nobody else hits it in the dark." "But he's not dead, boss. He's gotten tangled up on the bull bar, and I've tried to untangle him, but he's kicking and squealing, and he's real big boss. I'm afraid he's gonna hurt me!" "Never mind," says the boss. "There's a .38 under the tarp in the back. Get that out and shoot him. Then drag the carcass off the road and come on home." "Okay, boss." Another half an hour goes by, but there's still not a peep from the young fella. The boss gets back on the CB. "What's the problem, son?" "Well, I did what you said boss, but I'm still stuck." "What's up? Did you drag the pig off the road like I said?" "Yeah boss, but his motorcycle is still jammed under the truck."

Two guys, standing at night on a bridge after having had a few pints, both decide to relieve themselves over the side. The first, in an attempt to impress, says, "Water sure is cold." The second replies, "Yeah. Deep, too."

This summary says it was a five-point scale: 'People logging onto the LaughLab Web site were invited to rate jokes using a "Giggleometer" which had a five-point scale ranging from "not very funny" to "very funny".' I also think it's interesting that they claim: "Bizarrely, computer analysis of the data also showed that jokes containing 103 words were thought to be especially funny. The winning "hunters" joke was 102 words long. (An abbreviated version was told in this story.) Many jokes submitted contained references to animals. Jokes mentioning ducks were considered particularly funny." So wouldn't it stand to reason that if they added the word "duck" (i.e. 'two duck hunters are out in the woods...') that the joke would be much, much funnier?

Actually, the "make sure he's dead joke" was tested. "Funniest joke ever" isn't the interpretation I'd give - it was a joke that was most widely recognized as being funny, not the joke that got the biggest guffaw.

A very wealthy man is on his death bed. He calls for his doctor, priest, and lawyer. When the three of them arrive, he says to them: "I know they say you can't take it with you, but I want to try. There are three bags over there. Each has $100,000 in it. I want each of you to take a bag, and at my funeral, throw the bag in my coffin just before they close it." The next day, the man dies. At the funeral, just before the coffin is closed, the three men each drop their bag in the coffin. After the funeral, the three are talking. The priest says, "I feel so terrible, I have to confess: We are building a new church, and the building fund was $10,000 short, so I took that much out of my bag before placing it in the coffin." The doctor says, "I feel bad, too. My hospital is building a new wing, and we are also short on funds. I took $15,000 from my bag to help complete the new wing." The lawyer smugly says, "I can't believe you two! I enclosed a check for the full amount!"

There are two types of people: those who categorize people into two types, and those who don't.

A bar walks into a man... ooops! Wrong reference frame. How about science cartoons? Non-science ones

I'm Tom, and I'm a geek. I get to play with really expensive toys that someone else pays for, i.e. I'm an experimental physicist.