Why do men commit so many rape crimes?

[swansont]

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Moderator Note

Discussion on whether women are treated preferentially moved http://www.scienceforums.net/topic/58611-are-women-really-treated-preferentially/

[mooeypoo]

So I don't mean to reopen a hornet's nest here, but this blog post summarizes the point I have so badly failed to make (despite attempts) that I think it's worth a read and is relevant to this thread.

 

Source: http://thehathorlega...d-rape-culture/

 

 

Rejecting a strange man's sexual advances is scary. That's right – scary. Some women will tell you it's not and that Watson was overreacting, but no one's experience is universal: the fact is, a small minority of people cope with rejection by lashing out in violence, and when those people are bigger and stronger than you, or have power over you, you can end up getting hurt. It is completely rational and sensible to think defensively when you're in a situation full of unknowns. A man you don't know may respond to your rejection with a friendly, "Well, couldn't hurt to try, right?" or he may turn out to be a rapist who likes showing teh bitchez they can't reject him, or he may fall into that huge gray area in between.

 

This should explain two things to you: why women are often unclear in their rejections ("I'm busy/engaged/have a headache" rather than "No, I would never be interested in you"), and why women are creeped out by situations men think women should find flattering.

[...]

Maybe a better example is Greg Laden's wonderful post about encountering a dog, and how he's not afraid of dogs generally, and he knows how to handle them generally, but sometimes you meet a dog and have no way of knowing if it's the sweetest creature ever or rabid and vicious, and how, gee, maybe apprehension in that situation is absolutely justified. Ya think?

 

I highly recommend reading the whole post. It's making a good point that is sometimes hard to see.

[Athena]

Thank you so much. I knew a woman who was beat up and left for dead. I have also fought my way out of a couple of bad situations, and sweet talked my way out of other scary situations. The closet I came to being raped was the "nice boy" down the street who lied about his mother being in her bedroom taking a nap. Fortunately his parents came home in time, but not before I bit his arm so hard a bone was chipped. He told his mother, someone stepped on him with foot ball shoes. I said nothing to her about what happened because he said she had a bad heart. Besides, "it' did not actually happen, but I never saw him again. A few years later he became a police officer. On the other hand, the "bad boy", my mother didn't want me to see, never tried to force himself on me. He became a Hell's Angel. And proudly I was still a virgin when I married a man I met in college.

 

I imagine it would be difficult for males to relate to women's fears, because they do not have our experience, but when every man, seems to see you as a score, and many become very unpleasant when told "no" one can begin to feel like prey. I resolved this problem by getting married very early. Then I had to deal with my father-in-law and brothers-in-laws, but once that was settled, well, it was a whole lot better than dating and dealing men's sex urge and egos. However, several years later, I learned age does not change this particular male behavior. However, the best part about being old is sometimes being able to enjoy a man's company without sex being an issue, because I am less attractive, thank heavens. But then, I have a 86 year old female friend who is having a very hot relationship with a man 10 years younger.

 

With age, many of us become weaker, and feel more vulnerable, so we avoid going out at night, or at least stay on side walks with people, because we know there are angry men just looking for victims and we want to avoid the risk. Just the fact that many men behavior like sexual predators, leaves women fearful. Some deal with this by carrying mace or guns, or taking karate classes.

 

I have to add, a college professor taught his class that women who are out at night are intentionally asking to be raped. He really believed this. Care to consider what his male students thought when a female said no?

Edited July 26, 2011 by Athena

[mooeypoo]

You know, I think sometimes many women have trouble realizing that their "stress level" goes up in these situations. My initial automatic response to the whole Rebecca Watson Elevator-guy (talked about in the article above, briefly) was that I felt for her, but I wasn't too sure I'd be feeling that way.

 

But then I thought about it. More to the point, then I walked into the elevator in my dorms (I'm in the 9th floor) with a guy who pressed the 7th floor button... and it occured to me that I instinctively moved to the edge (where I would have no one standing behind me) and stared at the button he pushed to see which floor he picks. And after I left it also occurred to me that while I wasn't panicking, nor was I severely stressed, the idea that I should be on a slightly hightened "I wonder if he's an okay person or not" alert was definitely in my mind.

 

I just didn't realize it.

 

These responses are, many times, automatic. It's not that I was scared.. I wasn't. I wasn't even worried. I don't even think I consciously realized I was looking at where he was going to get off; but I *was* doing defensive thinking. Quite frankly, if he had turned around and said anything other than "nice day" or something about the awful weather, my heart rate would've climbed up. I also held my keys tightly, which is an instinctive self defense reaction I picked up from past training.

 

Was I overreacting? I didn't *do* anything.. I didn't even REALIZE I was thinking anything. But those situations are so natural that women often miss the fact they happen. I think we should be *aware* they happen.

 

The author makes a few very good points about how to approach women in case the man actually wants to hit on them. Those proposals are great, and really, they shouldn't deter men from hitting on women. Just realizing what might or might not come off as creepy.

 

This, btw, is another VERY good article, this time written by a man, comparing this "instinctual" self defense thinking of those people might get with dogs. Bad comparison? Probably slightly, but it gets a very good point across. Highly recommended read: http://scienceblogs....utm_medium=link

[Moontanman]

Thank you mooey for that link, it saddened me very much to think that i am always under scrutiny as a potential rapist due to the actions of others. While I would never even consider propositioning a woman in an elevator to begin with I honestly never considered how vulnerable women must feel under those circumstances.