It's too late you're screwed...

 

http://www.theonion.com/articles/breaking-authorities-currently-racing-down-highway,34462/

The man in the van never showed up.....darn it.

For some perculiar reason this has made me want to watch forest gump.

The man in the van never showed up.....darn it.

For some perculiar reason this has made me want to watch forest gump.

 

 

I knew that guy in the van was iffy, I waited at the safe house for hours... now I'm out the money for the van guy and the safe house....

I knew that guy in the van was iffy, I waited at the safe house for hours... now I'm out the money for the van guy and the safe house....

 

I think they're onto us, these onion people.

We have become so weird and the media is so ridiculously pervasive I reckon the onion could switch to the truth and continue to publish for weeks before anyone noticed.

The Netherlands also has a satire / humor news website (link in Dutch, obviously). But unfortunately, our news is typically so boring that their jokes have to be more mundane as well.

 

Current headlines:

- Dutch government wants to continue the Ministry of the interior and kingdom relations (I'll explain the joke: we've always had that ministery)

- Usain Bolt loses to Dutch Sprinter (our trains are called 'sprinters'. The article comes with a picture of a Dutch train).

- Court of Audits urges more short term thinking by government (joke: in reality we should be doing more long term thinking).

 

Very little violent news would be credible here.

 

Still, I ran. Because I can.