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Liza Long: I am Adam Lanza's Mother


ewmon

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This seems like the default forum to post this, and I want to highlight one part of Liza Long's blog that has gone viral (emphasis mine) —

 

I am sharing this story because I am Adam Lanza’s mother. I am Dylan Klebold’s and Eric Harris’s mother. I am James Holmes’s mother. I am Jared Loughner’s mother. I am Seung-Hui Cho’s mother. And these boys—and their mothers—need help. In the wake of another horrific national tragedy, it’s easy to talk about guns. But it’s time to talk about mental illness.

 

So, where are these boys' fathers, and why does our modern society think that the male parent is optional in raising healthy children? I salute all mothers for raising their children as well as they do, but where are the children's fathers, especially when their children have mental and/or emotional issues? We read that Adam Lanza shunned his father. Why, because the father exercised more discipline? If so, this should have been a red flag of a troubled mind, instead of an excuse to shun some primary instruction and discipline. If Adam shunned his mother, it probably would have raised a red flag, but it can easily go unnoticed if the shunning is toward the parent who is out of the house. Adam couldn't shun his father so easily if his father lived at home. Or, barring that, why didn't his mother ensure that he couldn't shun his father, or that they address/resolve whatever issue (real or imagined) that drove Adam toward shunning his father?

 

Also, the fact that Liza Long's house does not contain any firearms, but that she went around collecting and securing all the sharp objects because of her son's murder threats, shows that an important aspect of such situations (dangerous, mentally ill children) is not "gun control" per se, but "weapon control" in general. We've seen someone armed with a knife murder six policemen and seriously injure four others inside a police station before finally being captured on the 21st floor! Heaven forbid — some maniac armed with a knife can enter a sparsely-attended movie theater, such as a matinee, and silently slit everyone's throats starting at the back and working their way toward the front while everyone's attention is focused on the screen in the mostly darkened theater. You don't need 100-round magazines and semi-automatic weapons.

 

We also need to look at school massacres and realize that the hatred is targeted at childhood foes and that the injustice (real or imagined) previously done to the perpetrators for which they seem to be taking revenge most likely happened during childhood. All bullying must stop now. Or that the hatred is targeted at those the perpetrators feel they most likely can defeat or victimize. Adults must be treated as adults, and must be made to understand that they have adult size, strength, abilities — and responsibilities. Once someone reaches adulthood, they are adults with adult responsibilities whether they want to be or not, and they must accept this ... they must be prepared for this.

 

So, the issues are mental illness and weapon control — AND parental upbringing, including fatherly attention, love, instruction and discipline — and bullying and adult responsibilities. Crime control is never an easy task, but this sort of thing has become an insidious and very tender topic.

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It's a great read. I actually shared it myself in the Yay, Guns! thread right after the Newtown shooting. I emphasized making mental health support much more readily available to these folks and at no cost. Universal healthcare with a heavy emphasis on mental health services.

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