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herme3

The Secret to True Happiness

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Everyone is different. Everyone has different needs - some people need to socialize all the time, while some people need space. Lot's of people here are trying to give you advice, and I suppose I am not different, but my advice to you would be to take all the advice you are given with a pinch of salt.

We are basing it on the OP's own words, which talk about stress and worry at human interaction. Retreating from the things that he is having trouble coping with is not a "need", it's a defense.

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This approach to "happiness" was outlined in the Simon and Garfunkel song "I Am A Rock"

 

The narrator has ostensibly sworn off social interaction, noting that "Friendship causes pain. It's laughter and it's loving I disdain." and "A rock feels no pain and an island never cries"

 

The entire song belies the narrator's social frustration. The ineffible message is that this recourse leads only to a sad and lonely existence, exchanging the bittersweet qualities of life, friendship, and love for the mild melancholy of a lonely existence.

 

Was it a good exchange? I guess that's up to the listener to decide. But I also think S&G's intentions were clear...

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What would be the purpose? I really don't have any need to talk to people.

 

And yet, here you are ...

 

Well, I'm not really worried about making a bad social connection. The problem is just the stress from any type of social connection. For example, I had a good friend last year. She was a very nice person, and she certainly wasn't a bad social connection for me. It's just that I was always worried about what she thought about me, and I was constantly worried about losing her as a friend.

 

Did you give her any reason to think badly about you, or to not want you as a friend?

 

Did she ever make any indicatetion that she might be thinking badly about you, or that she was considering to end your friendship?

 

When I first left high school and started college, I missed her a lot. However, that's when I decided to live a socially isolated life. Now, I realize that I don't need her or any other friends to enjoy my life. Most people are trapped by the desire to make friends. I recently learned how to overcome the desire to make friends, and now I've never felt better in my whole life.

 

The sad part is that I do believe you when you say you have never felt better. Of course, that doesn't mean that your strategy is any good, let alone optimal. It's just better than the worst you could be doing.

 

I fail to see the logic behind it all, though: If you really didn't care about these things anymore, then why take the trouble to not interact with other people? (Maybe it's just me, but it would take work to not talk with other people for me.)

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