The Backward OX

"That which we call a rose, by any other name smells sweet." Put that in simple English, does the job title have any bearing whatsover on the concept? Would you be happier if I called hiim a gofer? The job's still the same.

Okay, for those of you who want details... Here’s a hypothetical situation for you to consider, that explains the concept. Let’s say you’re a home owner. Anyone, from young married with children to elderly and retired. And let’s say you’re thinking of moving house. The reason why is irrelevant. One criteria is that you are financially well-off. Now I’m going to ask you to use your imagination. I want you to think of as many things as possible, that might need to be done as part of this moving process, from the moment you first start thinking of moving, until you’re putting your feet up in the new place. I’m sure you’ll agree the list is too great to set out here. And can have as many variations as there are people. For most people, moving house is near the top of the list for stress-inducers. For some, it’s top of the list. It shares top billing with death and divorce. Okay. So how would it be if you could have a Personal Assistant take over and manage everything, and I mean literally everything, that’s involved in this process, from start to finish? Maybe over a two- to three-month period. You still pay any costs incurred, but that’s where your involvement ends. It would mean that all you’d have to do is point, while you sit back with a drink in your hand. Is that a service you’d be prepared to pay for? If yes… Would you consider a fee of US$13,500 to be reasonable? That’s €9,500; GB£8,400; AU$15,000. …that’s the service I’m thinking of providing.

I have a totally new business idea for the service industry. I’ve identified a need and found a way to satisfy that need. It involves a part-time Personal Assistant (provided by me) taking over and managing certain activities* in my client’s life for a period of approximately 13 weeks (X as many clients as I can generate). The clients would be drawn from a base of people sharing these same activities. If it makes it any easier for you to understand, you can call these activities “their daughter’s wedding.” It isn’t this, but the illustration may help you. *The idea could make me a fortune. So you’ll appreciate why I’m keeping the exact details to myself. However, it may be difficult to get the concept off the ground. This is where you come in - you may have suggestions for ways around the difficulty. The problem is that, 1) I am an unknown quantity; I have no track record to fall back on, and 2) I’ll be promoting an entirely new idea to the buying public. And it gets worse - my concept comes at a relatively high price. If I was the buying public, I’d be wary of me. So, can you think of any ways in which I might persuade prospective clients that I’m on the up and up, that I'm sincere, that I know what I'm talking about, and that I can “deliver the goods?” Thank you for your input.

Can anyone recommend an easy-to-use daily log program, not necessarily connected to the internet? In other words, an offline record keeper, a register of events and activities, maybe listed under different headings. Preferably a free download. And remember, I did say easy-to-use. Something the village idiot could cope with. Thanks.

Today I dropped off my lady at a red light outside the radiographers, where she was to have a CT scan. As she was about to close the car door, I pointed at the collapsible floral umbrella on the floor and said, “Do you want your umbrella?” She had already turned away from the car, and all I heard was the word “No”. The light changed, I drove to McDonald’s for lunch, and completely forgot the umbrella. Hours late when we arrived home she was unpacking the car while I opened the garage. I said, “Did you get your umbrella?” “I never had an umbrella. I told you that earlier.” “Sorry. I misheard you.” She was right. There was no umbrella there. I was not under the influence of anything. I saw that umbrella as clearly as I see these words appearing on the monitor. Maybe I’m not really here at all. Maybe I’m only dreaming we drove 100km to the radiographers, maybe I imagined the burger and fries, maybe ScienceForums doesn’t exist, maybe . . . . . What do you think? Is there an explanation?

Hi all. I’m a grumpy old curmudgeon, “old” being the operative word. I'm 72, and cannot abide fools. I am pedantic in manner and suffer from Asperger's Syndrome. I’m hoping to meet up with other irritable old bastards like myself. People with a lively rudeness in their temperament. If you’re an Aussie and know of Red Symonds, or if you’re a Pom and know of Will Self, that’s the type of person I mean. If your IQ is less than 125, stay away from me.