Dave

Classic

I still like the lawyer jokes most tbh

Quite a few years ago now (about 10 years if my memory serves me correctly).

Oh, how I wish this were true

I like lawyer jokes

Sure seems to be a heck of a lot of new members joining up Welcome to all, hope you have fun. And spread the word about SFN

Which part of the country do you teach, out of interest?

You could just check your join date next to your posts.

rofl, nice one

They're just bad. Especially the ones about the molecular biologist.

Hmm. I guess he must be talking about the chemical thing like Sayo said. Damn, this is gonna bug me now.

Highly doubt it's any of those. Although the one involving albatrosses made me laugh

Hey, I'm Catholic (although not a very good one ). Welcome to the club.

I was going to say the union of professional tennis players, but then I realised the T and P are the other way around.

cos I can't understand it and I have a huge exam on it on tuesday

Vector Calculus is wrong

That is indeed British Humour, and I don't take it as an insult

You probably won't get this unless you're from the UK, but nevermind: 2 Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift. He tells them he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls but will take a look at the bike for them. He tries everything he knows but is unable to repair it. Time is getting on now and he's late for his delivery so he tells the scousers he has to leave. "R hey lad" they say "gissa lift". The trucker once again explains that he has no room as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls. The scousers put it to the driver that if they can manage to fit in the back will he take them and he agrees. They manage to squeeze themselves and their motorbike into the back of the wagon so the driver shuts the doors and gets off on his way. By this time he is really late and so puts his foot down. Sure enough PC Plod of Greater Manchester Police pulls him up for speeding. The good officer asks the driver what he is carrying to which he replies Scouse Eggs. The policeman obviously doesn't believe this so wants to take a look. He opens the back door and quickly shuts it and locks it. He gets onto his radio and calls for immediate backup from as many officers as possible. The dispatcher asks what emergency he has that requires so many officers. "I've got a wagon with 20,000 Scouse eggs in it - 2 have already hatched and the b*****ds have managed to nick a motorbike already".

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position, the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause yer feet ain't empty."

The thread's just a bit of a laugh to let new people see who's who really. It's not meant to be an authoritative list of people's scientific interests - after all, this is the discussions forum. To be honest, the forums don't really sport any kind of chaos; they're quite sedate in my opinion. And people aren't obliged to put any information in their profile that is optional - some people value their privacy more than others for whatever reason. More than likely, people who would post their details on the thread already have their profile details filled in.

I'm called dave and I like maths. Yes, I know, it's sad, get over it