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merg. somebody explain what BIKINI is an acorym for, in terms of British Military Defence.

Joke; England Rugby Team

Phrases That Sayo might (but proabbly hasnt) used (contiunation of Phi's) 'If you spoke that much crap in real life, your head must comprise entirely of feaces' ''Remind me next time, to guge my eyes out before trying to read one of your posts'' '' I would rather eat my own head than to conversate with you again'' ''Your as bout as convising as doctor cripins defence lawyer'' ''Your posts have as bout as much forsight as 3 blind hedgehogs, in a bag'' ''I dont know whether or not your speak in opposites in your house, but that definitley was NOT a good post'' ''Well, thats about as useful as a toilet seat which is made exclucively of hedgehogs'' ''I would have speant a better 4 minuets on a diet, than reading your post'' ''After reading that i laughed about as much as when pulling someones little finger to let them break wind''

i thought it was 'duck' tape. Oh bollocks.

lol well im not in any stretch of the amagination an artist but see this;

wow its cool looking back throught this forum to people that say that they have just started but now have 1000+ posts. Also kinda sad to see people with enthusiasm in here that have joined a year ago but only have 1 post.

by all means

my apologies

eaten up?!

These are genuine questions and answers which were collated from last year's British GCSE exams (16 year olds). Geography 1. Name the four seasons. A. Salt, perrper, mustard and vinegar. 2. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large ollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists. 3. How is dew formed? A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. 4. What is a planet? A. A body of earth surrounded by sky. 5. What causes the tides in the oceans? A. The tides area fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight. Sociology 6. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on? If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed. 7. In a democratic society, how important are elections? A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election. 8. What are steroids? A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. Biology 9. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature? A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas. 10. What is the Fibula? A. A small lie. 11. What does 'varicose' mean? A. Nearby. 12. What is the most common form of birth control? A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium. 13. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean Section'. A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome. 14. What is a seizure? A. A Roman emperor. 15. What is a terminal illness? A. When you are sick at the airport 16. What happens to your body as you age? A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental. 17. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty? A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. 18. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes. A. Premature death. 19. What is artifical insemination? A. When a farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow. 20. How can you delay milk turning sour? A. Keep it in the cow. (He got an A!) 21. How are the main parts of the body categorised? (eg abdomen) A. The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brains, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,E,I,O and U. English 22. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning. A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (do dishes) 23. What does the word 'benign' mean? A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight. Technology 24. What is a turbine? A. Something that an Arab wears on his head.

Some phrases you WILL need to know in germany; Ich möchte Geschlecht mit Ihrem Llama haben. I would like to have sex with your llama. In Amerika schmeckt unser Bier wie Urin. In America, our beer tastes like urine. Biber sind fleißige Nagetiere. Beavers are industrious rodents. Mein Pankreas ist in den Schmerz. My pancreas is in pain. Ich werde getrunken und ich lasse nicht Communism zu. I am drunk, and I do not permit Communism. Meine Katze spricht Deutsches...wo die Würste sind? My cat speaks German...where are the sausages? Sie sind humorvoller als George Lucas. You are more humorous than George Lucas. Nichts kann das Grimace stoppen. Nothing can stop the Grimace. Ich möchte eine hübsche Prinzessin sein. I would like to be a pretty princess. Ich werde den Präsidenten beenden! I am going to kill the President! Ich herausforderung dein sexual autorein I challenge your sexual authority Es freut mich, daß Sie keine Zähne haben It is good that you have no teeth Ihre Brustwarze sind sichtbar I can see your nipples Hast du diese Bluse bei mir zu Hause vergessen? Didn't you leave that shirt at my house tomorrow? Ich habe einen riesigen Eisenpenis. I have an immense iron penis. Ich möchte gern dein sexueller Herr sein. I want to be your sexual master Dein hund versucht, mit meinem Bein, Sex zu haben. Your dog is trying to have sex with my leg. Kommt deises Kleid aus meinem Abfalleimer? Is that dress from my bin? Ich finde, du riechst nach Scheiße. I find you smell of sh.. Meine Unterhose wird die Welt beherrschen. My underpants will rule the world. Eine Weltmeisterschaft, und zwei Weltkriege, do da, do da. One world cup, and two world wars, do da, do da.

japanese