aommaster

Hey Kristi, you're esxactly like me! I really love chemistry!

A priest and a cab driver die, and they find themselves on front of St. Peter. St. Peter says "Ok .You both are going to heaven". He takes the cab driver to a mansion with everything and anything the cab driver wanted. He could get an olympic sized swimming pool, or a gigantic TV, anytime he wanted it. Next, St. Peter takes the priest to an old shack. It had a bunk bed, and a small TV. The priest says "St. Peter, I think you have been mistaken. Shouldn't I get the mansion, since I have preached and told people about our religion?" St.Peter replies "During your sermons, everyone was asleep. But, during the cab driver's driving, everyone was praying!"

I knew you would like it! Its a science forum isn't it?

There is a physics student, a biology student and a chemistry student standing near a pond. The physics student says "I will dive underwater to measure pressure". The biology student says "I will go down there to discover a new form of plant life". They both jump into the water. 1 hour later, they haven't arrived. THe chemistry student says "Both students are soluble in water"!

Please do. I can't read this thread wih my mother standing behind my back!

A boy comes home from school and the mother asks "What did you learn today at school?" The boy replies "Not enough, I have to go bakc tomorrow for more!"

A lady steps into a police station with a balck eye. The cheif asks her "What happened?" She replies "I got punched in the face. There was a sound outside, in my garden. I came out looking and I got hit!" So, the police cheif, personally, goes to investigate. 2 hours later, he comes back with a black. The lady asks "You got hit by the same person?" The police cheif says "No. I stepped on the same rake"

I know, I know! And the keyword here is 'well'. I think that should be interchanged with 'Amazing'!

A daughter goes ot her father and asks "Daddy, do all fairy-tales begin with 'Once Upon a Time'?" The father replies "No, there is a whoel set that begins with 'If elected I promised'!"

Phi, what do you do as a job? You would be great as a stand-up comedian! Really!

You don't know how true this is! I just fought Jordan (from the science forums) on Sunday! MY you can read minds when you have not SEEN the person!

LOL!!!! Good one! A teacher started to teach psycology to frshmans, so he wanted to make an introductory lesson. He called out "Anyone who thinks they are stupid, please stand up" None of the class stood up except for one boy. He asks the boy "Do you think you are stupid?" The boy replies "No, but it would be a shame for you to be standing there all by yourself!"

A family were waiting at Gate 35 for their flight to board. The loudspeaker suddenly sounds and says "Air Delta has changed boarding gate from gate 35 to Gate 41". So, the family get up and move to gate 41. Just as they are going to settle down, the loudspeaker sounds again "Air Delta will now be boarding at gate 35 and NOT gate 41". So, again, they move to settle down and wait. Just as they are going to settle down, the loud speaker sounds again and says "Thank you for participating in Air Delta's passenger fitness programme"

Here's another one: A waiter was continuously requested by a customer to switch on the A/C as it was too hot. Then, 5 minutes later, he was told to switch it off. This happened throughout the whole hour. Another customer was watching the patient waiter, looking for any signs of annoyance, but found none. So he asks the waiter "Why don't you throw him out? The is harrassment!" The waiter smiles "I have no problem with it as we don't even have an A/C!"

Here is another one: A mother was sitting on the couch reading a book when one of her children walked up to her and said, "Mummy, why is my name Petal?" the mother replied "Because when you were born, a petal fell on your head." The next child walked up and asked, "Mummy why is my name Rose?" She replied, "Because when you were born, a rose fell on your head." The last child walked up to her and said "BLAS CLAFLAS YIFRASSAM TASSM POONNFFFIINRTY." The mother replied, "Be quiet, Fridge!"