MetaFrizzics

Actually there is now hope for almost anyone to quickly pick up and more deeply understand the basic concepts of modern physics than ever before: Here are some links: E.F. Taylor Edu. Lagrange

Okay that was cruel. Here's some good jokes to make up for that: -------------- How many women's libbers does it take to screw in a light bulb? That's not funny. ----------------------- How many women's libbers does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. You got a problem with that? ---------------------- How many computer programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. That's a hardware problem. ------------------------ How many engineers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. That's a union job. -------------------------- How many union guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. It's not in the job description. -------------------------- How many management reps does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. We hire scabs for that. ------------------------- How many scabs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. But he had an accident. ------------------------- How many govt spokesmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. But we've hired programmers to do design a tutorial. ------------------------- How many real men does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Real men aren't afraid of the dark. ------------------------ How many real women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They get a real man to do it for them. ------------------------ How many Quantum physicists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? An infinite number. But when the light comes on, there is only one.

Here are some warm up jokes for the one my brother wrote: Man: Doctor, I've broken my leg. Doctor: I'm afraid it is a very bad break. You will never walk again. ------------------ Policeman: Knock, knock. Woman: Who's there? Policeman: The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed. ------------------------ There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They are all trapped in a jail cell. Eventually they all starved to death. ------------------------- Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the Nazis. -------------------------- A man walks into a pub. He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family. ----------------------- Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge? She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem. ----------------------- What do you call a cat with no tail? A manx cat. ------------------------- Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas. -------------------------- How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. ----------------------------- Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed. -------------------------------- Two men are sitting in a pub. One man turns to the other and says: "Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house." The other man replies: "Yes, she has become a prostitue to subsidise her drug habit." ------------------------------ Did you hear about the Irishman found under a shop? Yes, he was killed and buried there. It was gang-related. ----------------------------- Man: What a beautiful dog. Does he bite? Dog-owner: No. Man: Can I pet him? Dog-owner: No, he has a form of eczema that makes him skin weep if touched. ------------------------ How can you tell when an Essex girl wants sex? She displays signs of arousal, such as enlargement of the clitoris and swelling of the labia. ------------------------- What's the difference between a rottwieller and a poodle? There are many differences. They are two totally different breeds of dog. ----------------------------- What do you get if you cross a horse and a donkey? A mule. -------------------------- A priest and a rabbi are sitting next to each other on a plane. However, it is a short flight and they do not talk to each other. -------------------------- What do you call a man with a spade in his head? You call him an ambulance. He may have fractured his skull. --------------------------

mmmwah he ha ha haaa! Hey! This guy's a comedian.I used to be a standup comedian myself, but they told me to sit down.

Checks and Balances: I have stripped the superfluous anecdotes and comments which were objected to previously. The post was obscured by the 'remotely likely' and rather subtle example of people challenging opinions with an alterior motive: (possibly to provoke emotional reaction or bad behaviour from a poster who is disliked, and so get them blackmarked or banned). When the cards are stacked, its unlikely any poster with an opinion could win for long in such a situation. But let us suppose there is no conspiracy, and the moderators and administrators for the most part simply want to run an organized professional looking forum. So let's stick to the best point in Kirby's post: Giving (unsupported) opinions and discussing issues on the fringe of science is an absolutely necessary part of doing science. "...It's not the side you are on. It is the way you present your opinions.". As much as I strive for the exact same ideal, I just can't agree with this on the face of it. If we're just going to 'stick to mainstream science', and disallow opinion and discussion, why have a forum at all? Why not just post a bunch of stickys: The point is, all good questions and opinions will have little or no support from 'mainstream' scientific papers, and can't be 'reviewed by peers' before being offered. Physics forums ought to be the very places where ideas can be exchanged and criticised in a free and open manner. It is not a 'waste' of cyberspace or an 'abuse' of a science forum to discuss the problems of science. And one should not have to be an expert or have prepared 'evidence' for every thought. If anything, saying something might bring forward a quick correction and save years of misunderstanding or wasted efforts. That is what being helpful is all about. The only thing any person at any level needs to bring to a physics forum is open-mindedness and perhaps humility, or at least enough humility to maintain good manners in the face of criticism or opposition.

Yeah, and he enjoys the wrestle as well! I'll never forget the funniest joke I ever saw above the urinal:"Why are you looking here? The joke's in your hand."