I am writing this out of a sense of frustration.

 

Just saw my doctor (actually, he was away and I got stuck with a locum). I suffer from gout - thankfully very mild. Here are a couple of facts about gout.

 

1. Epidemiologists have found that four standard cups of coffee per day correlate negatively with gout incidence.

2. One of the more effective gout reduction methods is to drink lots of water - 8 large glasses per day.

 

Well, I have this quirk - I hate the taste of water. I like to add something. Scotch is best, but 8 glasses of water per day liberally flavoured with scotch might have undesirable side effects!

 

Instead, I have trained myself to take my coffee ultra weak. One standard cup of coffee has the same amount of coffee as 4 large mugs the way I drink it.

 

In discussion with said locum, I was told to drink coffee moderately, and drink lots of water. I told him that I took 12 large mugs of ultra-weak coffee per day. He told me that coffee was a diuretic and I should stop that, and switch to 4 cups per day plus 8 glasses of water. Doh!!!

 

Anyone else have stories about encounters with educated idiots?

How about my old Algebra II teacher puzzling over a problem in which "the rational function achieves the value of its asymptote" to another teacher within my earshot. I was interested, so I listened a bit longer and they kept discussing, in utter confusion how this function could "possibly ever attain the value of its horizontal asymptote" and how "the textbook must be wrong" and "that can't have an asymptote there."

 

This is the point whereat I spoke up and explained (to the ALGEBRA II TEACHER, mind you) what is the definition of end behaviour.

What do you call the med student that graduates at the bottom of his class?

-A doctor.

 

Teachers are humans too, I presume. Though I'm not sure if my teachers have ever said anything completely ridiculous, just some slight inaccuracies which I quickly pointed out, in chemistry at least.