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Everything posted by cr4u

  1. Well thanks all, I'm feeling a bit better already, been invited away for a few days and have decided to go and do it, would normally have declined, so wont be able to answer any posts for a few days. Really appreciate the help!
  2. Just a bit more thought on that one about maintaining relationships. I think that was making me worse, hearing what everyone is up to, where they are going, what's happening at Christmas etc. and then I go home alone and think about what they are all doing and what I am missing, they are all having a good time whilst I'm very sad about it all. So I think it's natural and logical to feel the way I do but was called a Psycho (by one of the daughters) because of the way I handle things. Naturally I don't think I am but would take it onboard if someone was to point out that my way of dealing with things is not normal. I've just upset myself and started crying, never done it before, I suppose it's because I feel people are listening to my side of the story for a change? I did think about deleting the last bit but why should I be embarrassed, it may help someone else.
  3. Thanks, no money was actually lost, it was just my way of jus Thanks for that advice, no money was actually lost, just figuratively speaking Thank you, I have one good drinking buddy who has decided to look after me and I have bored him to death with it, poor guy, so yes I have been able to discuss it with someone otherwise I think it would have been a lot worse. Everything seemed to come at the same time, break up, no work, no money and problems trying to start a new relationship. Well today I just sold my house (which I really wanted to do, memories etc.) and it has really made me feel a lot better, as though finally something is starting to go right. I'm feeling a lot more positive about the future, as though it's all new from here onwards if that makes sense? Suppose I should feel sad about selling the house really (most people would) the planning ahead is keeping me busy and enthusiastic even though I have no idea where I am going to end up. Thanks for the help. Yes my wife did actually want to remain friends and could not understand why I did not. However, I was getting mixed messages and seriously confused. She would hold my hand, ask to go for bike rides and discuss all the wonderful things we had done together, then say she would never find anyone like me. I was living in hope that we were getting it back together, only to be told that the divorce papers were on the way and bye the way could I help with DIY on here new house. I was having real highs and lows so decided it was best to end it completely. She was also a quite a bit younger and would have no problems meeting someone. I thought it would be devastating to then see her with someone else. So that for me was the end full stop, not a thing left in the house to remind me of her. I thought why would I want to remain friends with someone who does not want me, so channel all my efforts in to someone who does want me (still to find that). As you can see, I don't have a problem discussing things, still got my SOH and have no problems laughing at myself. Think another problem was that the family only heard her side of the story, no one wanted to hear my side of the argument. Mums and daughters stick together, understandable I suppose.
  4. Thank you for taking the time to reply. I don't think it's the problem as I'm very practical, logical and realistic. The way I see it is that no amount of talking about it will affect the end result. It should never have happened but it has and that's really the end of it. I have to accept it (done) move forward and not dwell on the past (doing), don't bore everyone with my problems, find new hobbies and lots of interests. But for some reason the sadness is getting worse rather than better after 18 months and that's the bit I don't understand. I have no family of my own but that's no problem as I'm fairly happy with my own company most of the time. Always been a one man, one woman and done everything together. My whole life did revolve around my wife's large family, so I went from big family to no family overnight. In a sense I don't think that bothers me too much, though I am disappointed that everyone has dumped me. Was never truly accepted as being a REAL member of the family anyhow, they were all a bit false except for my wife. Invested 14 years in another persons family and have nothing to show for it, must be better investments, will not be doing that one again. If I was to be honest, I am still slightly angry about what happened but think that's acceptable. If you had invested £20,000 and lost it you would be slightly angry? I suppose you could read all sorts in to this but I'm throwing it all around to try and identify the problem myself, being a logical person. I am moving on and I'm not dwelling on it. Yes I'm a divorced male 64
  5. Thank you very much, you made me laugh Thank you, I will keep reading and absorb it. Probably not able to go in to the fine detail but end of marriage was the start of the problem. It was very sudden and final after 14 years of happiness. I have accepted that I can doing nothing about it and therefore try not to dwell on it or discuss it. I try very hard to be positive and go forward. Thanks, I have been doing some courses and yes time passes very quickly and I'm usually OK when doing that. It's the usual holidays and weekends alone but working to try and improve that. Thanks for the hugs, very kind of you. Yes you are right, and I think the problem is getting worse rather than better as I have now realised it is much harder finding someone at my age, when I was younger it was very easy. Again you are right that whilst I feel like it's only happened to me, nearly everyone I speak to has had a similar problem at some time in their life.
  6. Recently taken an interest in Psychology but not sure where to go from here. What makes you have a good day or a bad day? I have put on a brave face since the end of my marriage but now feel that I need some help as it's not getting any better after 18 months. I have had a good life and done so many things that other people will never do in a life time and I have never suffered any depression. It's like everything has come to an end,all in one go. I'm 64, fit as a 25 year old, no problems there but can see the light dimming at the end of the tunnel. Still maintained my ridiculous sense of humor, but so many people are so serious and just don't get it and think I'm just going senile. I get myself out a lot and still do much more than most people of my age. The big question, why am I sad when I have so much going for me? Where can I get help, I'm drinking too much! I don't need a GP and tablets, I need to find out what's wrong and how to correct it. Would someone please point me in the right direction? Hope I've posted correctly. Thank you
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