Tetrahedrite

I enjoyed this a lot! *New CDC Warning: GONORRHEA LECTIM The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of Sexually Transmitted Disease. The disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim and pronounced "gonna re-elect him." Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having been screwed for the past four years. Cognitive characteristics of individuals infected include: anti-social personality disorders, delusions of grandeur with messianic overtones, extreme cognitive dissonance, inability to incorporate new information, pronounced xenophobia and paranoia, inability to accept responsibility for own actions, cowardice masked by misplaced bravado, uncontrolled facial smirking, ignorance of geography and history, tendencies toward evangelical theocracy, categorical all-or-nothing behavior. Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed at how this destructive disease originated only a few years ago from a bush found in Texas

I think people who believe in the paranormal should be given the same respect as those who believe in God. Not doing so would make most people enormous hypocrits!

A man is pulled over for speeding and when the policeman ask why he was going so fast the man tells him that he was late to work. "What do you do for a job" asks the policeman. "I'm a rectum expander" replies the man. Confused, the policeman asks the man to explain what a rectum expander does. "Well, people come to to have their rectums expanded" explains the man. "I put a device in that stretches the rectum gradually, and over many sessions the rectum gets bigger and bigger, until eventually they have a six foot hole" Starting to get suspicious the policeman asks,"What do they do with a six foot ar**hole" "Well" the man says, "they put him in a uniform and give him a speed gun!" (edit= sorry guys, I've just realised this joke is already on the thread)

Why did the white bear dissolve? Because he was polar (One for thew chemists)