Nevermore

Yay! 100th reply! Q: What has 132 legs and 8 teeth? A: The front row of a Garth Brooks concert.

If you receive an e-mail with a subject line of "Badtimes," delete it immediately WITHOUT reading it. This is the most dangerous e-mail virus yet. It will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream melts and milk curdles. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, reprogram your ATM access code, screw up the tracking on your VCR and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play. It will give your ex-boy/girlfriend your new phone number. It will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your beer and leave its dirty socks on the coffee table when there's company coming over. It will hide your car keys when you are late for work and interfere with your car radio so that you hear only static while stuck in traffic. Badtimes will make you fall in love with a hardened criminal. It will give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their dates and rendezvous to your Visa card. Badtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the toilet seat up and leave the hairdryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub it will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, and refill your skim milk with whole. It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve. These are just a few signs. Be very, very afraid.

Gene Simmons can. And so can my classmate.

Viri must fight for room. If a relativly harmless virus takes all the room for the cold, it will die.

Everest is not the highest Mountain, K2 is higher. By about 30 feet I believe.

Wow, it's a shame there are no Gir stand ups on me. *cough* hint *cough*

Four U.S. Presidents are caught in a tornado, and off they spin to OZ. After threatening trials and tribulations, they finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great Wizard. "What brings you before the great and powerful Wizard of Oz? What do you want?" Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly, "I had a terrible time with Iran, so I've come for some courage." "No problem!" says the Wizard, "Who is next?" Up steps George Bush Senior sadly, "I'm told by the American people that I need a heart." "I've heard its true." says the Wizard. "Consider it done. Who comes next before the great and powerful Oz?" George W. bush steps forward, "Well, I think I need a brain". "Done" says the Wizard. Then there is a great silence in the hall. Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around, but doesn't say a word. Irritated, the Wizard finally asks, "What brings you to the emerald city?" "Is Dorothy around?"

On his way to a speech, George W Bush suffers a heart attack. Opon his arrival at hell, the devil tells him he can choose his own punishment. W opens a door, and sees Hitler having his face struck with a cactus over and over. Deciding this is too painfull for him, George opens another door, and sees Al Capone jumping in and out of freezing water over and over. Well, George isn't too used to cold, so he opens another door. In this room are Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinski, eternaly engedged in sex. "This doesn't look to bad." Bush says. "Okay," Satan replies. "Monica, you're free to go."

On his way to a speech, George W Bush suffers a heart attack. Opon his arrival at hell, the devil tells him he can choose his own punishment. W opens a door, and sees Hitler having his face struck with a cactus over and over. Deciding this is too painfull for him, George opens another door, and sees Al Capone jumping in and out of freezing water over and over. Well, George isn't too used to cold, so he opens another door. In this room are Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinski, eternaly engedged in sex. "This doesn't look to bad." Bush says. "Okay," Satan replies. "Monica, you're free to go."