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http://cow.math.temple.edu/~cow/cgi-bin/manager Cowculus!

What kind of thing comes under Biophysics??? Like looking at carbon structure of cells? But wouldn't that be Biochemistry? I dunno!

An engineer, physicist, and mathematician are all challenged with a problem: to fry an egg when there is a fire in the house. The engineer just grabs a huge bucket of water, runs over to the fire, and puts it out. The physicist thinks for a long while, and then measures a precise amount of water into a container. He takes it over to the fire, pours it on, and with the last drop the fire goes out. The mathematician pores over pencil and paper. After a few minutes he goes "Aha! A solution exists!" and goes back to frying the egg. Sequel: This time they are asked simply to fry an egg (no fire). The engineer just does it, kludging along; the physicist calculates carefully and produces a carefully ooked egg; and the mathematician lights a fire in the corner, and says "I have reduced it to the previous problem."

This is an old classic:

Appologies for all the >'s they annoy me too, but I'm in a rush.... it's funny and worth it though! There's nothing worse than a doctor's snotty receptionist who insists you >tell her what is wrong in a room full of other patients. I know most of us >have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it. > >An 86 year-old man walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he >approached the desk, the receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the >doctor for today?" > >"There's something wrong with my dick," he replied. > >The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a >crowded office and say things like that." > >Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said. > >The receptionist replied, "You've obviously caused some embarrassment in >this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong >with your ear or something and then, discussed the >problem further with the doctor in private." > >The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people things in a room full of >others, if the answer could embarrass anyone." The man walked out, waited >several minutes and then re-entered. > >The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?" > >"There's something wrong with my ear," he stated. > >The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken >her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?" > >"I can't piss out of it," the man replied. > >The doctor's office erupted in laughter.

Simple: Get two wires, attach them to a battery, stick them in water, watch bubbles appear! (for improvement add salt to warm watter, increase voltage, use carbon electrodes to replace the bare wires) Advance: What if we collected the hydrogen given off in the experiment and ignited it? The pressure produced could propel something, maybe some water? The image is self explanatory, basic electrolysis of water is used to make hydorgen and oxygen which is collected as one. An ignitor is used to explode the hydrogen (it needs the oxygen, so remember to keep them both in the same place) and the pressure from the explosion forces the water out of the holes. NB: This is a safe experiment, it's meant for kids! PS. It'd be nice if some others posted experiments that I haven't heard of so I can do em!!!

A guass rifle is a magnetic linear accelerator, they are not normally harmful, esp. home made ones (unless you spend lots of money going to extremes) This website will explain it better than I will!!! http://www.scitoys.com/scitoys/scitoys/magnets/gauss.html NB: They do recommend that you buy the materials from them. I do know some people who have bought from them and it was all fine, no scams or anything. Additionally I've tried making gauss rifles from 'normal' magnets and it's not very good. To get a decent (still totaly safe) speed powerfull magnets are needed. These can be bought in many places though, it doesn't have to be through the website. The website: http://www.scitoys.com/ Is very good, intended for safe for all ages (within reason) 'at home' experiments. Obviously I haven't looked at all the pages, if there are any good ones link below.

I was just reading a website about electrostatics (revision for exams) and there was a 'try this at home'... take a ruler and a few (quite, or very small) pieces of paper then rub the ruler with a jumper sleeve (or that's what I did) then place the ruler just above the small pieces of paper and due to electrostatic charges the paper will jump and be attracted to the ruler. Just thought it was quite cool - you just see it happend and it's like that's why I love physics! Hmmm, if you try very hard you can get the paper to float in between the table and the ruler, but it's very hard! NB: This doesn't work with ALL jumpers... for example if your ruler 'wants' to lose electrons and you jumper does too then electron exchange will not take place and the ruler will not become electrostatically charged.

Subject: math teacher arrested AT NEW YORK's Kennedy airport today, an individual - later discovered to be a public school teacher - was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press conference, the U. S. Attorney General disclosed that he believes the man to be a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," he declared. "They seek average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns,' but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to argue, there are three sides to every triangle." When asked to comment on the arrest, the President stated, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes. I am gratified that our government has shown us a sine that it is intent on protracting us from these math-dogs, who are willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard. Murky statisticians love to inflict plane on every sphere of influence. Under the circumferences, we must differentiate their root, make our point, and draw the line." The President warned, "These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen, unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor in random facts of vertex." The Attorney General concluded, "As our Great Leader would say, read my ellipse. Here is one principle he is uncertain of: though they continue to multiply, their days are numbered as the hypotenuse tightens." (Yes it's all a joke -- just in case!)

FTL = faster than light Units: c = speed of light m = mass n = newtons (measure of weight) kg = kilogram (measure of mass) Δ = delta, change in e.g it is 10C outside and warms up to 25C, Δtemperature or change in temperature is 15C G = giga, thousand million M = mega, 1,000,000,000 m = milli, thousandth µ = micro, millionth n = nano, 0.000 000 001 p = pico, 0.000 000 000 001 M, n, p, depends on if you are going by long (billion means a million millions) or short (billion means only a thousand millions) scale.

A bolt of lightning contains enough energy to toast 160,000 pieces of bread. Unfortunately the bolt only takes 1/10,000 of a second – so turning the bread over might prove difficult!!!

That's because they both use vBulletin Why? What is it?

haven't visited this thread for a while, just thought I'd say hello to everyone new, welcome, have fun!

What did the Nuclear Physicist have for lunch? Fission Chips.

also watch my sig... its on a moving cycle of one line jokes... so far: Are cheerios really donught seeds? If swimming is good excercise why are whales so fat? WWED - What Would Einstein Do? You can't teach an old dog nuclear physics (i update those whenever i think of it, which can be a few days or weeks)