aommaster

Hey Kristi, you're esxactly like me! I really love chemistry!

A priest and a cab driver die, and they find themselves on front of St. Peter. St. Peter says "Ok .You both are going to heaven". He takes the cab driver to a mansion with everything and anything the cab driver wanted. He could get an olympic sized swimming pool, or a gigantic TV, anytime he wanted it. Next, St. Peter takes the priest to an old shack. It had a bunk bed, and a small TV. The priest says "St. Peter, I think you have been mistaken. Shouldn't I get the mansion, since I have preached and told people about our religion?"

St.Peter replies "During your sermons, everyone was asleep. But, during the cab driver's driving, everyone was praying!"

I love that one, aommaster!

I knew you would like it! Its a science forum isn't it?

There is a physics student, a biology student and a chemistry student standing near a pond. The physics student says "I will dive underwater to measure pressure". The biology student says "I will go down there to discover a new form of plant life". They both jump into the water. 1 hour later, they haven't arrived. THe chemistry student says "Both students are soluble in water"!

Please do. I can't read this thread wih my mother standing behind my back!

A boy comes home from school and the mother asks "What did you learn today at school?" The boy replies "Not enough, I have to go bakc tomorrow for more!"

A lady steps into a police station with a balck eye. The cheif asks her "What happened?" She replies "I got punched in the face. There was a sound outside, in my garden. I came out looking and I got hit!"

So, the police cheif, personally, goes to investigate. 2 hours later, he comes back with a black. The lady asks "You got hit by the same person?" The police cheif says "No. I stepped on the same rake"

He's doing well as a sit-down comedian for the moment.

I know, I know!

And the keyword here is 'well'. I think that should be interchanged with 'Amazing'!

A daughter goes ot her father and asks "Daddy, do all fairy-tales begin with 'Once Upon a Time'?" The father replies "No, there is a whoel set that begins with 'If elected I promised'!"

Phi, what do you do as a job? You would be great as a stand-up comedian! Really!

Hey, there's Aommaster! This guy has played so much Age of Mythology his head is shaped like a pyramid! He has so much God Power built up that he's been telling President Bush to invade Jordan! He's going after Egypt next, but he wants to use the Vikings instead of tanks!

You don't know how true this is! I just fought Jordan (from the science forums) on Sunday! MY you can read minds when you have not SEEN the person!

LOL!!!! Good one!

A teacher started to teach psycology to frshmans, so he wanted to make an introductory lesson. He called out "Anyone who thinks they are stupid, please stand up" None of the class stood up except for one boy. He asks the boy "Do you think you are stupid?" The boy replies "No, but it would be a shame for you to be standing there all by yourself!"

A family were waiting at Gate 35 for their flight to board. The loudspeaker suddenly sounds and says "Air Delta has changed boarding gate from gate 35 to Gate 41". So, the family get up and move to gate 41. Just as they are going to settle down, the loudspeaker sounds again "Air Delta will now be boarding at gate 35 and NOT gate 41". So, again, they move to settle down and wait. Just as they are going to settle down, the loud speaker sounds again and says "Thank you for participating in Air Delta's passenger fitness programme"

Here's another one:

A waiter was continuously requested by a customer to switch on the A/C as it was too hot. Then, 5 minutes later, he was told to switch it off. This happened throughout the whole hour.

Another customer was watching the patient waiter, looking for any signs of annoyance, but found none. So he asks the waiter "Why don't you throw him out? The is harrassment!" The waiter smiles "I have no problem with it as we don't even have an A/C!"

Here is another one:

A mother was sitting on the couch reading a book when one of her children walked up to her and said, "Mummy, why is my name Petal?" the mother replied "Because when you were born, a petal fell on your head."

The next child walked up and asked, "Mummy why is my name Rose?" She replied, "Because when you were born, a rose fell on your head."

The last child walked up to her and said "BLAS CLAFLAS YIFRASSAM TASSM POONNFFFIINRTY." The mother replied, "Be quiet, Fridge!"

This one really cracked me up!:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they were exhausted and went to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?" Holmes said Watson pondered for a minute.

"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that The Lord is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have, a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you idiot, Someone has stolen our tent!"

What about Novocaine?

I'd forgotten to put that in. I forgot what it was called!

A girl's dog has died and the parents are trying to calm her down. The parent have tried everything but she yet cries. So, the say "Don't worry! Your dog is probably in heaven with God" The girl replies "What will God want with a dead dog?"

A man and his wife enter a dentist clinic. The wife tells the dentist "I don't want any anaesthesis or anything like that. I am in a hurry, just pull the tooth out!"The dentist says "My, you are very brave! Show me the tooth." The wife tells her husband "Come dear. Show the dentist your tooth!"

eaten up?!

)) It was a spelling mistake, that really made it funnier! I meant beaten up!!1

yeah, I think the writer seemed to have changed it. I think they are only questions from end of term tests or something. GCSE questions would rarely ask questions of those sort, ESPECIALLY the English one! It always asks for an essay on something!

Man, are you trying to get us eaten up or something )))

If these are real answer, then, I would REALLY be amazed how students could survive these exams!

We have gone into languages have we? ) I was just asking about a language, and now this thread has become a LANGUAGE discussion! Nice! ))

Wow! I know how to make fun of people in Japanese! ))

Konnichi wa minasan---basically means--- "Hello' date=' everyone"

 

Minasan wa baka desuyo---basically means---"People are idiots!"[/quote']

 

 

Which language is it in?