Sirona

BT - The Internal Locus

In other words, it depends.

Essentially yes, however this can be said about any job that posseses danger/threat, injury or death of colleagues or a traumatic event such as bullying and/or harassment.

From my understanding, policemen, fire fighters and soldiers experience PTSD when they are placed in danger personally (being shot at, engulfed in smoke, physically attacked, etc) and witnessing their friends and/or colleagues harmed or killed. For example, fire fighters experience PTSD but they don't kill anymore, it's the danger of the job, a traumatic event such as the loss of a colleague etc which causes the stress.

I think this is a bit of a loaded question. What about the judge that sentenced the criminal? What about the jury that decided? What about the system that enabled it? By phrasing the question like this, you're asking us to agree with you. A vegetarian may for example ask if the slaughterer at the abattoir gets PTSD.

Well, couldn't the same be said about soldiers in the army? Most of them accept war as a necessary evil if they want to protect the nation, but they still get PTSD from killing.

 

PTSD is rooted in the sub-conscious. Telling your conscious self that it has to be done doesn't help.

In war you're killing soldiers, most of whom are not 'bad' people but nationalistic, misguided, believe they are doing the right thing etc (essentially most are 'good'). As an executioner you're killing criminals (rapists, serial killers, murderers). I fail to see your comparison.

 

Note: I am not an advocate of the death penalty, nor am I saying all life is not equal. I am merely saying that I believe people that choose this as a job would have this mind set.

Well, it depends. We are assuming that if they've chosen that particular job that they support the death penalty and probably don't have a moral qualm with executing those that have been tried and found guilty for heinous crimes. They probably do feel somewhat emotional after, which would be a natural response but they're probably able to rationalise and justify their actions with their personal views on justice. Supporting an ideology and carrying out the duty aren't that different; if they personally didn't carry out the job, someone else would. Some people are fairly adept at compartmentising and this particular job would attract those that are able to control their emotions.

Exactly right, Charon. The biggest problem is people claiming for psychological disability (especially depression) because it's difficult to validate. That's certainly true about our ageing population and the Department of Human Services aren't cracking down on the elderly claiming disability but people under the age of 35. As of last year, they are aiming to review 28, 000 disability cases of under 35 year olds and reassess their eligibility (another problem in the past is that cases were not reviewed/audited so in many cases people's situations had changed and the Department of Human Services just didn't know about it). Since last year they have reassessed over 7000 cases and found that 10% of them were no longer medically eligible.

I reason that would be the current case law definition of disabled: You could go to a U.S. Supreme Court ruling for a more definitive answer. But that could be scrapped and the reasonableness argued about until a mediated resolve occurs. Personally, I think "seriously disabled"s father wants him/her to go make his/her own money: That's the issue.

I tend to agree, I've worked with disabled people in the past and haven't found that their disability affected their ability to do the job they were employed to do. Obviously there are different types of disabilities and some may prohibit you from doing certain jobs, however, usually there is some kind of work you can do. Although over 800, 000 people in Australia claim disability pension, I believe very few of them actually can't work and use their disability as an excuse rather than a reason.

 

We also have the Disability Discrimination Act which protects disabled people from employment and workplace discrimination and many companies employ less able people (they represent approximately 10% of our workplace) because they're still able to make a valuable contribution. In a lot of cases, I think it's more about attitude than ability/disability.

I'm sitting here worried I might throw the wrong switch!

That's terrible if I've given you that impression because it's not at all the case. I'm merely trying to represent the perspective from the other side seeing this thread was being dominated by male observation. I'm interested in the male psyche, so please do be honest and not hold back your opinions.

It reminded me of the switchboard for the different sexes.

http://www.blog.joelx.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/man-woman-control-panel.gif

Ha! I've always considered myself an uncomplicated woman; I must've been too generous in my assumption

I find the dynamic of the father/son relationship to be one where both sides often misunderstand the motives of each other. The father yells because he's a mean idiot, says the son. The son rejects all advice and so yelling is what's left, says the father.

 

In my experience, fathers get frustrated a lot when their son ignores advice. They probably did so themselves, but that's not the way they remember it. Their own fathers had sage advice that was followed with respect (maybe, but it's often remembered that way only when the son is much older), so it's an issue of respect and intelligence when a son rejects what is offered.

Precisely. The same goes for father/daughter relationships too. When you're young, you feel like the world revolves around you because you've got no other responsibilities, little experience and exposure to the real world and even little issues escalate to big catastrophes that result in you feeling singled out/bullied. Find solace in the fact that you're not the only one even though at the moment it probably does. On a more positive light, it does get better and differences between you and your parents close but you have different problems. I can't comment on what it would be like to be a parent, but it must be difficult being the villain all the time. Dealing with disability is not a solitary act either, I'm sure your family is just as affected as you are and although anger and resentfulness may seem like natural emotions in this case, try to understand the challenge from your fathers position. It's not about who is right or wrong, the villain or the victim but about understanding how and why people act the way that they do and reconciling differences to be able to cooperate.

Fair enough, but I'd also say I tended to be attracted to heavier women too. It was something I noticed but I kept it to myself, in fact this is the first time I have admitted it publicly.

Exactly, you kept it to yourself; that alone suggests there is a social stigma against bigger women. You're 62 now, Robitty? and you've just admitted to it openly. Yet, even know you're protected by your online anonymity. I'm not singling you out, nor am I offended; I just learned early on that life is much more difficult when you're overweight and it's a hindrance, not just in dating but other aspects of life too such as friendships, career, hobbies etc.

 

I noticed men were also less respectful towards me, in many cases (and rightly so) believing that due to my lack of male attention I'd be more willing to please them, satisfy them and be more agreeable since I didn't have a lot of choice. Although this is a natural and true assumption to make, they believe they've made a compromise (risking being socially outcast and/or judged) so they can get love, companionship or sex more easily. I can tell you it's both humiliating and demoralising being on the other side.

 

Now that my body is equal to my face, for better lack of expression, I am finding myself with all sorts of opportunities, especially career wise.

 

A lot of bigger women I know are resentful and bitter about how they are received by society and the disadvantages that come with being overweight. However, to change societies views is very difficult, changing yourself is achievable and for me, it had nothing to do with pressure but 'adaption' is a more correct way of putting it.

We read about that, where people some people still see themselves as overweight and then they actually become anorexic. I'm not saying that is the case, but in your case as you say it is an insecurity because of the past.

Have you tried saying affirmations? It was a craze many years ago.

I'm not close to anorexic, nor do I see myself as overweight; I'm healthy and fit. I'm just saying that when you spend much of your formative years being bullied about your weight, it's difficult to see yourself as attractive once you lose it. I don't really want to elaborate because it's quite personal as I'm sure you can understand. However, I thought it was necessary to use myself as evidence to support that most men are really not attracted to overweight girls and I say that from personal experience. I've noticed an extraordinary change in the way men see me since losing weight and that's because it's natural to be attracted to healthy and fit people. I don't feel resentful because men can't really help what they're attracted too. Although the OP might have a competitive advantage being attracted to overweight women, most men will compete with other men for women who have qualities that are considered attractive.

What does that mean exactly? Fat personality - plenty of it, tons of it, more than enough to go around? Tells us some more.

No, that's not what I meant at all. By 'fat' personality, I mean I'm still not confident, feel insecure and shy about my body despite not being overweight anymore. The weight loss took about a year, but it's taken years to mentally adjust to getting more attention from the opposite sex.

If you're disabled, then I would think you qualify for housing and disability income. I'm not too sure how other nations deal with it, but in the U.S.A., those options exist. I don't see what your problem is unless you're not a legal adult yet. And if you're not a legal adult, then the issue is the legality of your father's actions. There ought to be plenty of resources for you to engage in independent living.

 

Move on. Yes, your father is more than likely stupid (unable to learn or do anything about circumstances) due to how the universe works and the no free-will issue. Move on.

 

There are a lot of resources for disabled individuals. Sure, they may not be able to partake of higher-level actions often found in higher institutions, but they can sure find a baseline for themselves and maintain a steady life.

What is considered 'disabled' in the US? In Australia we currently have over 800, 000 people on a disability pension (our population is around 23.4 million). There were 127,000 claims made in 2013 and only around 72, 000 were rejected. The number of Australians on disability pension grew by 43% between 1997-2007. I find it hard to believe that many people are unable to work.

 

With no disrespect to the OP, I just have no idea what disabled means anymore. So perhaps we should identify that first.

+ for A Brief History of Time

I also found From Eternity to Here by Sean Carroll accessible and entertaining; it covers a range of the important modern concepts in physics. It is a 'popular science' book, but it does delve quite deeply into complex areas such as quantum mechanics. You mentioned math isn't your strongest or favourite subject and there is very little math in this book.

I recently read The Hidden Reality by Greene and thought this was another great one for us dilettante but probably too simple for the physicists here, but the examples were clear (although some of his analogies bizarre). My only problem with this one was that is was a little too philosophical with a bit too much speculation for my liking.

Attraction to heavier women?

 

Answer: They have more matter so they generate a lot more gravity.

Funny.

 

If it were also true, I'd be able to use my brain glucose for more useful things other than worrying about weight gain. I was a chubby teenager and completely overlooked, ignored and often teased; boys were absolutely horrible to me. I lost a lot of weight during my first few years of University and once I did, I practically had to beat the guys away. Perhaps men become more understanding and accepting as they get older, or at least stop worrying about what others think. However, I wouldn't want to gain weight again to test this theory. From my experience being both overweight and healthy/fit, I can tell you that men not only notice me a lot more now, but they're also a lot nicer. Thanks to years of insecurity, I unfortunately still have a 'fat' personality.

 

 

I was thinking more about individual development of mate choice and imprinting rather than the sexual selection element. Though that is quite an interesting topic itself. I do not know Geoffrey Miller, although I have become slightly skeptical on the area of evolutionary psychology.

He's not produced anything noteworthy since The Mating Mind and has some unconventional ideas on eugenics, although despite finding him somewhat unpleasant, I did enjoy the book itself. Although I agree with you on your skepticism of evolutionary psychology, I still find myself interested. Though the testability of theories is the biggest problem, I feel that they're at least a step in the right direction. However, it seems like we're still a long way off when it comes to psychology. At least evolutionary psychology is somewhat scientific or attempts to be.

Although I did well at school and college (and even went on to do a Masters) I still have no qualifications beyond those I got at school. This has never been a problem with regard to employment (or even going back to university) and getting some very interesting (and well paid) jobs.

There are few jobs where a Masters or PhD is a requirement or useful. In some cases it makes employers reluctant to employ you because you're over qualified and will need to be on a higher pay scale. In most careers work experience combined with a solid work ethic is more important. I think self directed learning is undervalued too, there is a wealth of knowledge online as well as lots of free courses, you might not get a qualification out of it, but it's a good way to learn new skills or improve on existing ones. University is very expensive in Australia and being a student here is difficult, so I wouldn't recommend studying anymore than you need to formally.

Although I've never had a problem with spelling, I have poor handwriting skills (although this is a fine motor problem, unlike spelling). I can type fast with almost no errors, text and swipe with no difficulty, however my handwriting is slow and often not legible. I remember always dreading writing exams at school and university because even though I had no difficulty with the work, I always ran out of time due to slow handwriting.

You might enjoy reading 'The Mating Mind' by Geoffrey Miller. I didn't know much about how sexual choice helped shape the evolution of human nature and thought this book was accessible and engaging for those that have little background in evolutionary psychology.

It's not a matter of 'heavy' or 'thin' but people are just attracted to healthy people because they'll have the best chance of giving birth to strong, healthy offspring who are most likely to survive. For example men are attracted to women with wider hips, bigger breasts and thick long hair because it signifies fertility and good health. Most men aren't attracted to very overweight women though, excess weight in the abdomen puts you at risk of many diseases such as heart and liver, diabetes, high blood pressure etc. However, some excess weight in the hips, buttocks and breasts isn't a risk to your health. People who are slightly overweight are also more likely to survive disease and sickness at any given age. All these factors I think contribute to people being attracted to normal/athletic/curvy opposed to thin. However, I think being attracted to very overweight/obese people isn't that common.

 

I'll be honest, I'm very attracted to athletic/muscular men and don't find overweight/obese men attractive at all. When I think about why I don't find it attractive, I know I subconsciously think they will be less adequate and active in bed and less energetic. This might not be true for all athletic/strong men but on average it's a good indicator.

Firstly, why are you assuming one can't be competitive and also compassionate/understanding? I don't understand how competitiveness in unethical; I can understand that someone may/could act unethically in order to achieve their goal, however, you seem to be stating that the nature of competition in society is a bad thing and without context this doesn't make any sense.

Who ever said you need to achieve good grades in school or go to University to be successful? I have a Masters with a high distinction average and first class honours yet I get paid less than an electrician, plumber and carpenter (trades which don't require you to finish high school for receive a University education, yet pay very well). There are many ways to be accomplished/successful, not just in monetary ways. What about someone who is competitive in sport or their personal fitness and health? Many people feel good when they are working towards their full potential and wanting to be one of the best at what you feel passionate about doesn't mean you're apathetic towards others.

 

Costco is the store I frequent like this. I've found certain foods I can buy in bulk and save a lot of money on, as long as it won't go bad before we finish it. I've made the mistake of buying a huge 3 pound bag of broccoli florets (maybe three times what I need for half the price of buying in the regular supermarkets). It's like $3-4, sooooo tempting, but my family of three can't eat that much before it goes bad. The solution, of course, is to team up with a neighbor or friend who also likes broccoli, and will take half.

 

I don't buy meat there at all. I used to get their chicken breasts, which were HUGE, until I found out they're filled with salt water (a real breast of chicken thaws within a half hour in water; Costco chicken breasts take hours to defrost, since it's mostly ice). One group, the Truthful Labeling Coalition, estimates Americans spend an extra US$2B (yes, B) on saltwater at chicken prices. "Plumping" like this isn't regulated like the rest of it, and introduces extra sodium that doesn't make it onto the label.

 

I wonder if there aren't little private, informal coops that buy from bulk dealers and redistribute to their members. It would be smart for a church group, or other social organization, to poll it's members and make a bulk purchase, then meet to divide it up into your own containers.

You could make broccoli soup and freeze it, that's what I do if I have left over food (which is rare). You can throw anything into a soup and it always freezes and reheats well, plus it's nutritious. Australians throw away over four million tonnes of food per year, this is just one country too. We can all contribute to help reduce the worldwide food gap by just buying what we need. Not to mention this food that is uneaten rots and gives off methane which traps heat in the atmosphere. There are other impacts too, such as the wasted water, fuel and other resources which are wasted to grow and distribute the food; these resources can be put to better use.

 

Eshel, I'm not going to reply to your points anymore. Your view on this issue is too simplistic and misguided. This discussion itself on whether it's ethical to eat meat is the wrong approach. We have many issues we need to combat about eating sustainably, conserving our environment and closing the food gap, being 'mean' to animals is a discussion I'm very tired of because it addresses one minor ethical issue and it's only addressed because it's an obvious consequence; what about all the hidden consequences?

Try to keep in mind that (for a decent percentage of the membership population here and many lurkers arriving from a search result) English is not always a persons native tongue and reading even perfectly constructed sentences is still rather frequently a challenge for this group.

I think it goes without saying that if English isn't your first language people wouldn't judge you negatively. However, spelling and grammar check is just as available to EFL\ESL speakers as it is native speakers. If their English is elementary, then most likely they'd be frequenting sites in their own native language.

Interestingly, I've found I buy a bit less because it is more expensive, and that's part of reducing intake in general. It works out to be about the same overall cost, and we're not overeating. And not all organic foods are more expensive. Meats and fruits usually are, although organic hamburger is about the same. Coffee and cereals can be the same or cheaper.

 

In the US, organic is a claim you need to prove to a federal program that's part of our USDA. "Natural" is a different story. I think they make sure you aren't using obvious artificial coloring or flavoring, but otherwise "natural" is a common claim on foods that are still heavily processed.

 

It's interesting you say that because it's the same with me. I live on the city fringe so due to that, groceries are very expensive and mostly organic where I am. I also compensate by buying a lot less food and not wasting anything. I also keep my cooking simple rather than making meals that require a lot of ingredients. It's very rare to see overweight people in my district not only because of the high cost of food but also because it's too inconvenient and expensive to run a car (no parking and space comes at a premium). I live cheaper than my family who lives very far from the city because I don't eat much and walk/cycle everywhere.

 

They also encourage people to buy in 'bulk' at discount supermarkets and mega malls. You end up buying a lot more food than you need and end up over eating and/or wasting food. Most mega malls and discount supermarkets in Sydney are in low socio-economic areas and obesity is a problem in these areas.