Bettina

I'm me, first name only. Bettina

I have been trying to determine when, what, and why, for a long time, and have been keeping notes that I will give to the doctor. I'm not a moody person even when I have my [.] and although I'm the quiet type, I have a great time wherever I go and whoever I'm with. I like school, my home life, my dog, and the mall. Though my dad is 65 to my 17, he thinks young. We jog and bike together, and like to watch the same sci-fi shows. He is tuned to my type of thinking and so my home life is fine. I feel good almost all the time. Since I'm fine with all the above, the only thing left is me. But, I know what I see and feel are real. Or rather....what my brain is telling me are real. If I hear a bird chirping outside my bedroom window, my brain tells me its a bird outside my bedroom window. I don't need to see it to verify what my brain is telling me. My brain will interpret it correctly. The information that I sometimes receive from someone that triggers an "event" is just as clear. It becomes that real and I can't explain it. Its hard not to be scared of it, because I keep thinking I'm going to end up in a mental ward. I was hoping that a psychiatrist might be visiting this site and tell me what is wrong with me. Otherwise, I wait till Tuesday. Bettina

Because the teacher made the asumption that I COULD go back in time to kill my father. NOT if time reversed, and I got younger and younger. I stay the same age I am now. Just like "back to the future". I can go back keeping the same age, kill my father AND my mother and cease to exist thus no paradox. Hmmm...how about this then.......I hire my teacher who is MUCH older than me to go back and do the killing. If you want time to reverse and we go back together then I end up not born, but he being a teenager kills him. I know this is off topic, but I want to know more about paradoxes. Bettina

Are there any real paradoxes? I mean real ones? Awhile ago, one of our teachers told us about the "if you go back in time and kill your father you would not have been born.....so if you were not born, how could you go back and kill your father." I replied to the teacher that you can do it one time. I could go back in time and kill my father and not have been born. I changed time events, so there is no paradox. Time would continue without me. So, in the universe, are there real paradoxes? Bettina

"Empath" is just a self made word to describe an empathic person or a person with a more than normal degree of empathy. I know that. Just like the word "DOH" that Homer Simpson says when he's done something not quite right. He could have said "Uh oh". We don't need to interpret words. Just take the word Empath for its face value. I don't know why I do this, but I can do it. Vividly. I just want it stopped. Thats why I'm going to a Doctor. It's scaring me now. Bettina

Then Vladimir is right so where is the paradox? Also, if the universe is a sphere, (I'm still reading flatland and sphereland) wouldn't the curvature of space have something to do with that? Bettina

Dad got me an appointment with a female (glad) psychiatrist who is a friend of one of his friends. I go next Tuesday but she wants me to go to my GP for a blood test first. She is going to fax him what she wants done. That I do tommorrow. So, I will let you know. I feel fine right now and my ghosts are suppressed. I still want to hear from anyone like me, so I will keep checking back. I know I could never work in a hospice. I think those people who do are people who have suppressed emotions to begin with. I think they have to work hard to bring emotion out. The exact opposite of me. My Guidance counseler is a dork, so I had a talk with dad last night. He said he would take care of it, and he did. Bettina

You were feeling normal emotions. You have a heart I like that. I get those too. Did your episodes make you sick to your stomach. knots, can't eat, clammy feeling all over,? Thats what I get multilplied by 10. I can handle the tears in church, because those are just emotions that don't last more than the service itself. But the big ones like Jessica, tear me apart. No...its not pleasant at all. One more thing. I'm the quiet type, soft spoken and tend to look more than talk. Hard to tell from here, huh. But sometimes, and I do mean sometimes, I can and do pick up vibes or whatever they call it from other people like I explained before. I posted a link called "the empath report". It fits me like a glove. I know this is off topic so forgive me, but I sang and felt good in church today, with the usual tears when I sing some of the deep meaning songs. My 15 year old male friend is really great. 15 1/2 he keeps telling me. He really helps me get thru some of those parts and he sings beautiful. Now....I've known this all along, but today I'm more positive than ever that our priest is using that trait of mine as an attention getting freebie to draw in more people. He's using me. My dad says thats not true, but I know it is. He's a nice guy, and really is intense in his interpretation of the mass. He really believes there is a god. (poor thing) But I'm beginning to wonder if he is selling tickets. Thanks for the advice and trying to help, but I see doctors as cold people who are giving advice to someone without ever experiencing it themselves. Its like a priest explaining marriage to someone while he is celebate. I'm going to talk to dad tommorrow about going back to the doctors. I can't stand this anymore. Bettina

Sorry, but its much deeper than that. You can't imagine what I feel. How real it is. How I can become the other person within a minutes time. I wish it was as simple as you describe. He never said that to me directly. He told my dad...who later told me. He also wanted to test me electrically somehow and have another doctor look at me, but I cried a lot and so my dad had to call him and said no. I was younger and more frightened then. I looked up a DSM site and it does mention it but I would have to pay to get the PDF. Look at the top. http://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/search?sendit=Search&pubdate_year=&volume=&firstpage=&author1=&author2=&title=&andorexacttitle=and&titleabstract=&andorexacttitleabs=and&fulltext=Empathic+diagnosis&andorexactfulltext=and&journalcode=ajp&fmonth=Oct&fyear=1965&tmonth=Mar&tyear=2005&fdatedef=1+October+1965&tdatedef=1+March+2005&flag=&RESULTFORMAT=1&hits=10&hitsbrief=25&sortspec=relevance&sortspecbrief=relevance If it turns out not to be a psychological problem like you suggest, then I can't be treated, and I will have to look elsewhere. I just know I want it stopped. I would do anything now. Bettina

Ok....I looked at Olbers Paradox but still dont get it. The night sky looks like it should look to me....dark with stars. Why should it be all lit up. I was on a small boat once on a lake at night. It had a hand held spotlight that I was trying to point out over the water. It didnt reflect off of anything and was as if I had the light off. Using that, the night sky looks normal...Please explain. Bettina

I always get recurring images which is why I am having such a tough time. When I'm confronted with the initial episode then I guess OCD is what keeps bringing those images back for days. I don't really know. All I know is that the image of Jessica fighting for her last breath plays repeatedly in my head. I saw it in color, intense and vivid to the point that I actually became her and thats what made me sick to my stomach. She is wearing off now and in a few more days, she will occupy only a small part of my mind where the others have gone. Sorcerer.....It's not a gift. Its a curse. If I could read minds, my dad would take me to his work and make me sit with him at his meetings. I know he would. I also know what normal emotion is. Seeing someone cry in front of me makes me feel sad, but doesn't trigger anything. I still feel ok. Tommorrow is Easter Sunday and I will be up on the altar doing what I always do for two masses. My dad will be in the front row, the church will be full of people, and while I sing, I will surely tear up and those old people will pick up on that and begin whispering among themselves. Somehow, this makes them feel better as if I am praying for them more realistically than the priest is, but I'm not because I don't pray. The type of feelings I get while I sing in church are pure emotion caused by seeing some sad people in a church environment, the organ music, and the beauty of the songs I sing. I know what that is. I'm also not picking up on any one person because of the distance between me and them. I think in this case, its me who is sending my feelings to them. This is not the same thing as the overwhelming intense kind I get seeing someone like Jessica, or someone with real pain, sadness, or someone with intense eyes that I can feel trying to tell me something. The senior home is a bright place, and I can pretty much have a good time singing there. There really good to us there. (my choir friends) I hope someone here picks up my meanings and maybe some ideas. I don't want to spend my summer being in some physco office listening to a list of pills he wants to give me. Have a great Easter...... Bettina

Hehe...I do like Greek Mythology, but I didn't do anything wrong to have that punishment bestowed on me. Bettina

I never could understand him....he wanted to learn but then didn't.

If my high school is a remote indicator, then you would be alone. The science class and its books are the most interesting and most of us really enjoy it. We have a good hands on teacher too. I wonder if something is happening after high school to create the lack of interest. Bettina

I've seen some people cry, that won't trigger anything with me, almost as if it wasn't genuine, or that person wasn't in that kind of pain or sadness. For example, crying kids at the mall, or relationships breaking up, barely register anything. Animals always register because its genuine. This "ability" as you call it is debillitating to me. It can drop me down for days depending on the type of vibe I got and you could probably fool me if your good enough but that wouldn't be helping me at all. You have no idea how it is to be in a situation that causes my eyes to dart from side to side looking for what just triggered me. I think my hearing is such that I may pick up something before actually making contact. I would do anything to get rid of this curse. In the school or the mall I'm fine. Its the senior home, church, TV news, and being alone and quiet that I have to be cautious about. Old people especially can really send out a strong vibe. Webmistress.....I don't like the word "Telepath" because it brings in all kinds of quack ideas. I can't send any messages like they do on television. Bettina

This is one I put in another part of the forum, but I want it to be here. Maybe you other empaths could look at it......Geez...is this me or what. This guy knows what it is....exept the telepathy part....I dont buy that. I do write poetry, sing, and am very attached to dad, and am very loving. http://www.beyondthedoor.co.uk/listenersguild/empaths.htm